new from holland

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

Hi all of you guys....

I'm rudie from holland, 49 and very insecure for most of my life due to my penissize.
I'm divorced after 15 years of marriage, now 3 years ago, perhaps i should say I lost my wife, not because of my
size, but my way of thinking, that has made my life a HELL, or perhaps I should say anyone else's life aswell.
I was never able to talk abouty it, to anyone, I really mean anyone, including my own wife, and that has made her
not able to cope with my obsession, and she knows, she was allways very carefull and understanding in that area.
It was'nt a issue for her, I know that, but my twisted mind made me think otherwise. I forced myself into a new way of
thinking, I thought. After my divorce I met a girl, lovely, nice, all went well, sex was very good, but still that THING in the back
of my mind came up again, and made me more insecure then ever, so about a year ago I started learning about jelqing and stuff
I never heard of. So I had to try that, started of with dry, later on wet jelqing, got a pump, and got an extender.
Recently I found out about this site, and really wanted to join, and know more about gaining size, if possible at all.
But I had to try, gife myself a chance to possible do something about it, so here I am, a bit late in life, but better late than never.
I'v read a lot here, before posting this, I hope to learn more about gaining, and get some real help with this, and share my story...
I think it's not really about size, more about confidence, but it's very, very hard to get it when your way of thinking is wrong.
I know that has cost me a lot all my life, and I want it out of my system, and a little gain would surely mean a boost for me.
Glad to have found a place I can share this, I know there are a lot more of you out there, so lets help eachother buiding towards
a better life.
Enough for now, will read more and do my thing to better myself, I'v set my goal.
Hope to hear from you.
btw great site, great support from adm.
all the best to all of you.
GR. from other side of the ocean
RUDIE

[ColtAR-15 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ColtAR-15]

Welcome Rudie. You kind if sound like me but my insecurities if you want to call it that is more of a recent development for me. There's a couple of other members here from your neck of the woods BTW. Good luck.

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

Hi, ColtAr-15 thx for your words, preciate it, perhaps I should clarify something, I would be happy if I could live with myself, but that's
the whole point, I can't, my thumbs up for guys who are smaller , and have a happy, uncomplicated life, I can't understand why I am not able
to cope with that, tried everything, am just not happy with myself, and think by gaining some, it would be more easy to accept, its my psyche
more than my size, but if gaining makes my psyche accept it, so be it...I'll give it a shot.
Thx again for your input
all the best..

[Kdub Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Kdub]

Welcome Rudie, get stuck into JP's newbie routine. Get a progress log with all your stats into the progress forum and go from there. Most here know how you feel and have experienced similar stories. So don't feel alone and be honest and open with the guys/gals and you will get a lot of good advice and help.

Kdub.

[closeed258 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close closeed258]

Welcome to the PEGym Rudie. Good luck!

[schlittle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close schlittle]

Welcome Rudie!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Welcome to th egym, keep on reading and enjoy the site.

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

hi guys, thx for the warm welcome here, really hartwarming, do you realise, that for me it's the 1 and only time I'v really talked about this with anyone, maby cause it's easier behind a keyboard for now, but looking around here has made me feel like a I found a place I can relate to, nothing like this overhere or anywhere else for that matter, so really pleased to come here, this site is a blessing for a lot of people, and don't mean just for
enhancement, but also that really good feeling there are guys outhere that want to help, in more ways.
So thx and god bless, i'm going for it
Rudie

[jakkie Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jakkie]

Welcome Rudie

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

jakkie, thx a lot, happy to be here...

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

welcome rudie! it's a tough thing to deal with, i can understand and I definitely relate. I have to tell myself over and over that she's happy with it, but it doesn't matter if she's happy with it if I'm not happy with it. That's why we're all here... we just want to improve ourselves. I'm glad you found your way here and hope you find everything to your liking.

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

Hi somebodyelse, that's what I mean, alltough we don't talk about it, in a way i show and they pick up on my insecurity, and try to let me know/feel that I'm fine, but I don't want to go there, cause I hurt inside, I was never good in talking intimitely, about a lot off things, caused by my parents,
I do not blame them for it, they were brought up the same way. strange thing is, I have a 15 year old daughter, living with her mom, and I'm trying so hard to not be like my parents, and she can talk to me about anything, or anyone else for that matter, but if it's me, i frees up. I'v helped guys
in the past that were having problems like me, and they were bigger than me, talked to them and helped them out, no problem, I love helping out
but like I said, if it's me....sorry can't go there. But drifting a little off topic I guess.
Point is, I'm not happy with ME down there, most bad thing is I act according to that and close up on anyone trying to break thru, and the harder they try, the more distance ye get, that's why I need to let it out, and i'm sorry for doing it here.
But like so many, since i'v found this site, I feel like I'v found my eyeopener, this could be my chance to not only improve myself sizewise but
by doing that also working on this selfesteme issue and get this out of my system, sorry for throwing this out on you all, maby heavy stuff for
some of you, anyone reading this , I don't want to create a negative fibe out here, but just happy I got it out. Been needing this for a long long
time, and yes i'm open for suggestions.
thx all for reading this to the end, i'll be here for as long as I can and learn.
BTW sorry for my poor english, talk to ye soon.....all the best
gr. Rudie

[Its-all-confidence Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Its-all-confidence]

Hi Rudie, brand new here myself but I can relate to the confidence. If you're not confident it's hard to tell yourself otherwise.

[Bikerboy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bikerboy]

Hi rudie, join the club! You are not the only man that is tortured with this horrible insecurity, that’s why so many men join sites like this man! I joined myself mounts ago, but this is my first post…I was doing basic jelquing and stretching for 7 mounts, 3 day on, 1 day off.. In the first few weeks, better EQ quality and more powerful ejaculations. In that time frame I have gained a quarter of a inch in length and girth. But a gain like that makes a massive difference in the size and appearance of the penis, hence more confidence! When it comes to PE, every milometer counts!


After Xmas I am going to upgrade my routine to a more advance level for a quest for more gains. My long term goal is around 7 length and 5.5 in girth...


My advice to you or any beginner is be very patient, realistic and have belief. That’s the key to PE success!

good luck!

[rudie49 Member Find all posts View Profile Close rudie49]

Hey I-A-C , yes that's so true, if you're not confident, it's very very hard to feel possitive, and that can bring me down to an all time low, and once you're in that state of mind, it's very hard to get out of it, so that's really my reason of being here, gaining some , and boosting my confidence.
Thx for your words, good luck and all the best..

gr. Rudie