Unique problem

[jbleh Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jbleh]

Ok so I'm 18 and I have this problem where I can't get completely hard when it comes time to have sex with my girlfriend. She's a super curvy Asian girl (rare I know I got lucky aha) so its not that she's unattractive. Initially it was stage fright obviously and I got it up eventually that first night but its been months since, and I still have that problem. It won't peak out hard enough. I can be rock hard ready to go during masturbation or foreplay with her but soon as we're about to have sex it just deflates a little I guess. Because of how her parents are (super strict on her seeing me alone) we can hardly have sex so it's like we never get to have sex an when the rare opportunity arises I can't get completely hard. Could it be stage fright still given the situation? If so does anyone have any way to overcome this?

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

Could it be stage fright still given the situation? If so does anyone have any way to overcome this?

YES! It is 100% mental. You are stressing yourself out about it, worrying about it. I've been there. You've just gotta be able to totally relax and not think about it. It's tough, but really that's all there is to it.

[jbleh Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close jbleh]

That's what I thought too. I suppose the only way to get past this is just keep calm have more consistent sex?

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Yes sounds like anxiety.

[Ivor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ivor]

If you only get to see her occasionally, you're probably putting yourself under very high expectations to perform, which by the sound of it is having exactly the effect you don't want (don't worry, this is quite common, certainly not 'unique'). It would help if you could see her more often, I suppose - the obvious solution would be for her to move out of her parents' house but that's a pretty big step to make and maybe not financially feasible at that age. Is she planning to go to college/university any time soon? A good compromise would be if she could study nearby and live in dorms during term time...

All I can suggest is what others have said and try and relax, though that's easier said than done.

This might sound paradoxical, but it could be worth having a drink or two before you see her? Just a couple of beers, enough to take the edge off your anxiety without interfering with your ability to get it up? Though I appreciate you're only 18 and even this could be tricky in the US, if that's where you live...