Where do I begin...

[loveispoison Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close loveispoison]

I hope this is an alright spot. I will just introduce myself with my current situation. I will try to keep it brief. Since I was young I remember being in situations with women where I would get nervous and not get hard. I always felt like I had to get the first time with a girl "out of the way" because afterwords it was never an issue anymore and I would be ready any time, any day. Last year I was madly in love with a girlfriend of mine when everything went wrong, Saying she broke my heart is a huge understatement. She caused me pain, trouble with the law, and a serious depression and deep internal hatred. I used to feel many emotions and strong ones. Now I barely feel anymore. Anyway, Over the past few months I have been with several different women and noticed things were not quite how they used to be. I assumed it was my nerves but am realizing it is different now. I don't get as hard anymore. I never do by myself, or with women. When I wake up I have a very hard erection but alone I can never seem to achieve that and whatever I do achieve is un-maintainable. My girlfriend is becoming much more sexual and I can not avoid it much longer. I feel like I am neglecting her because of my fear and inability in the bedroom. What has happened in the past year? Am I broken mentally because of my past? Is something else going on? I have since quit smoking and am trying to be more active. I am 26 years old, 135 pounds. Someone please point me in some sort of direction. I want to go see a doctor but I have no insurance and no income until my band tours. I can not put her off for that long.

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

Bro, you need to have someone first to talk to and get to the point of forgiving dealing with these suppressed emotions and feeling of being hurt and the anxieties in the bedroom (which is an issue both with men and women being able to please the other). So, seek a counselor and get it out and move past the past and into the future where anything can happen if you let it.
Personally, I don't think you are ready for a relationship carrying baggage from the last because it will and is affecting the one you are currently with which is no fair to you or to her because you will always have walls up and fears of the same thing happening again and again burning a bridge you never meant to burn. You feel what I am saying to you?

Get you and your feeling in order then you will be secure inside and the man you want to be for the woman in your life whom you find in time is trustworthy to be with.

[Captain Jack Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Captain Jack]

Thenewdude is right. There is a lot going on inside of you that you need to deal with before you can tackle the sexual situation. The sexual problem is a physical manifestation of what's going on inside of you. You said you don't have insurance or extra money to see a doctor, but (depending on your location) there are resources that can help you see a mental health professional. It's unlikely that you have an actual physiological problem, so don't worry about seeing a doctor or having to afford prescriptions. Just getting some good, one-on-one counseling would do you a world of good. If you are close to a university with a counseling program, you could probably get some free sessions with students who aren't licensed yet but have had enough training.

That said, I have quite a bit of training in counseling (though I'm not licensed), so let me know if I can help at all. Good luck with everything, and welcome to the gym!