this is for all the other 18+ who live at home either finishing high school or doing the college thing cheap

I needed something more than my hands but I didn't just want to fuck anyone so I tried to get a fleshlight alien. every and I mean every single store i looked at would only ship to my house. I didn't want a sex toy lecture. it's not like there is a house rule against jerking off. i mean there is but only about rinsing the shower. last year i discovered amazon could ship things to lockers. these are like school lockers but big yellow and inside 7-eleven. there is one a block from mt house. I got a prepaid American Express gift card from Walgreens with $100 cash. I created a new non-gmail email address. I created a new amazon account.. because my existing amazon account has teen spending wallet with all purchases mom approved for books and games. I set my amex billing address to a random address in the city, but a real one. I put the Fleshlight Alien in my cart. on check out I selected an amazon locker near me. i ordered it. 2 days later i get email about delivery. i ride over to 7-eleven.

oh oh the locker has a front facing camera. I approached from an angle and covered it with one hand

i scanned the code on my phone and a locker door openned to my box. I openned it outside throwing away everything not essential. I stuffed the fleshlight alient in my backback. I bought a Monster Mango so I had a "reason" for going to 7-eleven. I rode home and waited for mom to go shopping.

I openned Conversations app on my phone. I don't use texting anymore cuz no privacy. I sent photos of my alien victory to some disbelieving friends. yay encryption and self deleting history.

I used the bathtub HOT faucet to run water through my alien girlfriend. i put the tpe insert back in the hard case. I already bought Swiss Navy silicone lube from CVS. Just a SMALL amount of silicone lube. too much reduces fleshlight alien awesomeness

OHHH FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK it's the best thing ever maybe more awesome than oral i nutted so hard. like just jerking you gotta keep pumping through nutting and a while after

okay okay it does make some weird noises alot more than the wildest lubed jerking and is a huge problem if you verbalize. rinse reheat repeat.

#fleshlightforvirginity