Virgin + sexual confidence

[Biggie_Smalls Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Biggie_Smalls]

I don't know if any of you have seen it, but is interesting short movie. A lot of truth in it.

Small Penis - short films on Vimeo


Don't let yourself be like the dude with the glasses when his girlfriend wanted to make out, and all he did was chickening out!
I've been in the position like that dude and sadly I did the same, just not in the same way.
@Ayoba If you escape sex when you are with a girl and she wants it, it's inevitable that she loses interest in you. It will happen on a "chemical level" she will try to rationalize it and all that crap how you're a nice but something is missing will come out of her mouth. At the end it won't be the size of your penis, it will be fear that will stop you for reaching promise land .
This is what happened to me and I've promised to myself I'm not doing that again no matter what.

Have in mind that you get courage by doing courage, there is no other way. You have to fight the demon. Look at it this way, you did the harder thing in the situation- you got the girl (by the time it goes down to it, sex), walk that last mile!

You can get yourself in this mindset by doing thing from other aspect of your life that you fear- do some extreme sport, do things that are risky but not life-treating, challenge yourself, fight the awful filing in the stomach and do it anyway! This doesn't mean all your problems will disappear and you will live with no fears, but it will give you perspective that thing are not always what they seem to be in the first place.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

The most important thing though would definetly be to tell her. You dont need her making you nervous and then you cant even get it up. Just tell her your a virgin, it goes really well. even when your not a virgin it still works really well sometimes to say you are lol.

Umm no do not tell girls you are virgin when you aren't that is deceptive and she has the right to know you have been sexually active before your cock met her pussy.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Tell her you are a virgin, girls are very understanding of this .. sex the first time with any one can be awkward even if people do have sexual experience.. by telling her that its a new experience for you she will keep her expectations realistic

[Ayoba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayoba]

thanks! I get it all

I was born a nervous person, thats all. But getting shit under control!

Havent turned down sex outright! but would have had more opportunities with a better mindset.

Most girls think im not a virgin. Like, because i have alot of women friends and face book pics with girls they assume im good with women or have some experience.

I just have always ended up in friend zone because of lack of confidence. Ive been told by a couple of woman that they think im 'hot' yet im still in this position. Like 'the good looking guy who is shy' kind of person. Not arrogant (clearly) but evidence from many woman prove that i shouldnt be having the drought ive been experiencing.

The thing with the virgin aspect ( and size aspect before i joined the forum!) is : because I havent done it, it has started to affect my confidence.

Just dont want that mental barrier.

Thanks for the advice ill be sure to use it!
(This forum kind of works as a positive side of conscience)

[Ayoba Member Find all posts View Profile Close Ayoba]

(of my conscience )

[SuperDude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDude]

Kegels will help you last longer. The more sex you have the better you will get at it.

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

Kegels will help you last longer. The more sex you have the better you will get at it.

Do you think someone would be able to last a long time even if they were a virgin just from being super kegeled up?

[SuperDude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDude]

Do you think someone would be able to last a long time even if they were a virgin just from being super kegeled up?

possibly, I lasted a decent amount my first time and I had never done kegels, but I did have a few drinks first. Just take it slow and when u get to the point where u feel like cumming slow it down a bit.

[SuperDude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDude]

So I'm still a virgin. Oh god if this problem doesn't ever go away I just might lose it. But ya like everyone else said alot of girls are turned on by virgins. Don't know why you would think girls would like a guy who can take the dominating role in bed.

A lot of girls do like a dominant partner that takes control in bed. Your problem sounds like a mental one that is causing ur poor EQ.

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

A lot of girls do like a dominant partner that takes control in bed. Your problem sounds like a mental one that is causing ur poor EQ.

I forgot a comma so i think you completely misinterpreted what I said.

I meant to say

Don't know why, you would think girls would like a guy who can take the dominating role in bed.

Instead of

I don't know why you think girls would like a guy who can take the dominating role in bed.

But ya as far as my problem goes I know for a fact It wasn't a mental reason why I couldent get it up. my dick was burnt and I was very drunk and smoked like 10 ciggarettes. All that combined was why i couldent get it up.

[SuperDude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDude]

Quit the cigs obv. But yeah dont get drunk when ur gonna have a sexual encounter, a few drinks is fine but too much will ruin everything.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

Newbert do you think you penis could be suffering from a short circuit pain response... where the nervous system responds out of reflex to fake pain signals or in manipulated manner to protect itself... .. like an over reaction to contact/ movement or pain
sometimes when the body gets a pain response that is so strong that even after the injury heals it continues to mimic the pain response or act out in the self protection reflex... so say you are horny and you want to get a load off as soon as your boner happens you mind switches a switch that signals injury .. so your penis turtles and retracts ..
If your nervous system is out of wack to begin with the likely hood of your pain response system misfiring is higher.
you say that its not your brain but i suspect that a huge part of what you are dealing with is a subconscious reaction

oh and you say the reason the sex didn't happen wasn't a mental reason .. well you got drunk and smoked too many cigs that is mental ..lol and also more then likely the reason you did that was because you were trying to cope mentally with the social situation you were in ..which led to going into the sexual encounter not mentally in control .. and drinking does cause limp dick so yes also not physically in control.

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

The pain response defiantly could be part of the problem. Because when I was using a rice sock and unknowingly burnt myself my dick was turtling up. Also when she tried to get my burnt limp dick up by grinding on it it hurt and then my limp dick turned into a limp hard flaccid dick. So Im pretty sure it goes into this hard flaccid state as a type of defensive response. Problem is trying to convince my dick it doesn't need to be scared anymore.

I guess part of the reason I couldn't get it up was just being nervous but 95 percent of it was a physical problem. Having a desensitized burnt dick, restricted blood flow from cigarettes, an whatever the fuck alcohol physically does to make it harder to get up. All that combined made it impossible. Not to mentioned I masturbated about 5 hours before the situation.

[Newbert_zero Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Newbert_zero]

Quit the cigs obv. But yeah dont get drunk when ur gonna have a sexual encounter, a few drinks is fine but too much will ruin everything.

I only smoke cigarettes when I'm drunk and someone offers me them. And I wasn't even planning on having sex I was just going to a bar with friends and happened to get hit on.

[janjo Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close janjo]

I don't know if any of you have seen it, but is interesting short movie. A lot of truth in it.

Small Penis - short films on Vimeo


Don't let yourself be like the dude with the glasses when his girlfriend wanted to make out, and all he did was chickening out!
I've been in the position like that dude and sadly I did the same, just not in the same way.
@Ayoba If you escape sex when you are with a girl and she wants it, it's inevitable that she loses interest in you. It will happen on a "chemical level" she will try to rationalize it and all that crap how you're a nice but something is missing will come out of her mouth. At the end it won't be the size of your penis, it will be fear that will stop you for reaching promise land .
This is what happened to me and I've promised to myself I'm not doing that again no matter what.

Have in mind that you get courage by doing courage, there is no other way. You have to fight the demon. Look at it this way, you did the harder thing in the situation- you got the girl (by the time it goes down to it, sex), walk that last mile!

You can get yourself in this mindset by doing thing from other aspect of your life that you fear- do some extreme sport, do things that are risky but not life-treating, challenge yourself, fight the awful filing in the stomach and do it anyway! This doesn't mean all your problems will disappear and you will live with no fears, but it will give you perspective that thing are not always what they seem to be in the first place.

so true!