Conquer yourself rather than conquering people. I mean it.
Today I got a haircut and right now my hair is small, my head looks weird and I did not like what I saw in the mirror. But fuck that, I thought about love, power and positive energy steaming from me, sort of like an aura. I really thought of myself as one of the most badass men in my city, and I thought of pushing the pressure away from my mind, and until the feeling of crying went away.
You know what? I noticed my posture changed, my expression did too - it was lighter and happier. I felt different, even if it was temporary. I suspect I got a few looks too.
I'm not faking it. I'm believing it.
You know why I want to change so badly? It's not that I'm tired of self pity. It's because my mother has suffered because of my negativity. She really has. I don't want to disgust her. SHE IS MY FAVOURITE WOMAN EVER. And recently she started bleeding from her nose, had a few blood clots I think. It's all stress.
I want to be a great man for her, then myself.
And I will keep reminding myself of that.
Sex is not important to me now. I want others to want me. I will not stop until that happens.
And if you EVER realise that your cock is holding you back, then fear not, your cock has gotten long enough to reach your ass - you are fucking yourself up.
Today I got a haircut and right now my hair is small, my head looks weird and I did not like what I saw in the mirror. But fuck that, I thought about love, power and positive energy steaming from me, sort of like an aura. I really thought of myself as one of the most badass men in my city, and I thought of pushing the pressure away from my mind, and until the feeling of crying went away.
You know what? I noticed my posture changed, my expression did too - it was lighter and happier. I felt different, even if it was temporary. I suspect I got a few looks too.

I'm not faking it. I'm believing it.
You know why I want to change so badly? It's not that I'm tired of self pity. It's because my mother has suffered because of my negativity. She really has. I don't want to disgust her. SHE IS MY FAVOURITE WOMAN EVER. And recently she started bleeding from her nose, had a few blood clots I think. It's all stress.
I want to be a great man for her, then myself.
And I will keep reminding myself of that.
Sex is not important to me now. I want others to want me. I will not stop until that happens.
And if you EVER realise that your cock is holding you back, then fear not, your cock has gotten long enough to reach your ass - you are fucking yourself up.

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