Porn has F'ed me up

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

I know not watching porn is being stressed around here in the gym all the time. But I'm will give you a reminder and say don't watch it. Please don't. I'm trying to save some of you guys from the situation I'm in as of now. I'm not addicted to porn as of watching it everyday or jacking off to it. But man it has f'ed up my mind big time. I've tried to stay away from porn completely but after a couple of days I give in and watch it. Then it translates to me masturbating and I want to stay away from that aswell. I thought it wasn't that serious but man porn distorts your mind man.

I actually watch amateur porn but anyways when I look at a video I see a guy with a clearly bigger dick than mines (almost every video) and it puts me down everytime. And the sad part about it is that every video I watch the guy is thovker than me and at my girth (4.6) it depresses me. I know porn isn't good at all but I think about sex almost everyday and I don't to think about sex 24/7. But when I think about sex it's a revolving cycle. Think about sex-Get horny-Watch porn-Masturbate. That's the cycle I go through almost every couple days. And the truth is I'm actually scared when my first time actually comes because of my size. Everyday I think about my first time. I think about how will she react to my size. Will she even feel it ? Will she enjoy it ? These questions come to my mind everyday.


The truth is I want to stop watching porn for good and peformance anxiety. I come to realize I have so many threads/posts that are rants, I want this to be my last rant on PeGym. I want my next post to be in the success forum. And I see guys on here having success abstaining from porn and masturbation. And my question is how do you do it ?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Hi CanIgrowPlease,


Now you are talking , it starts by realizing the problem, but I need to add one more little clarification. What you think is amateur porn is not amateur, at least not in the real sense of the word. And an even more important thing to consider, your mind is playing tricks on you, like a self fulfilling prophecy if you may. What you fear is consuming your thinking and making you only see it.

Snap out of it, it is all exaggeration, fake, do not listen to the voice in your mind that tells you these guys are big and I am small. That will become an easier job the more you stay away from porn -which we will get to shortly, matter of fact, you are not small, another fact, those "performers" are also selected be it by the site you download them from or by those who pay them to do it, again, it is not amateur as in candid, it means they do not use professional equipment and shooting style, I recall reading an article that said even professional studios film amateur style scenes to cater to the rising demand on the genre.

Okay, forget about about porn how its done, those "performers" are endowed, and there are males with big penises in real life, BUT this does not necessarily mean they are good in bed nor better than others who are not as huge as them, point is, it is not the size of the penis that matters as long as it is healthy. You should not worry about your size, you should be concerned about your way of thinking, years later and you will look back at this and wonder why this stuff was on your mind. Don't be your worst enemy.


The following threads will help you understand more about porn and what it does to you, as well as help you get rid of it for good.


Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn

Don't RELY on porn for an erection!

Greetings from the Fairy Pornmother

Therapeutic Help For Porn Addiction

The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence: Part 1


And give these threads a very good read too, it will help you snap out of the negative thinking zone.

Eliminating Performance Anxiety

The Perils of Goal-Oriented Sex

Debunking A Popular Myth About the Female Orgasm

Yes, Only A Big Thick Dick Will Do...

You can also contact someone who has successfully quit porn, and is willing to help.

Want to quit porn? Need an accountability partner?

Good luck!

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Well... I guess that's a question about motivation. Here are some techniques to get yourself to do the things you want to do. I use these regularly, myself, to get me to do what I need to get done.

1. Negative Rewards. Set up something that's more uncomfortable than what you're feeling now. So, is 100 dollars a lot of money to you? 200?
Get out your cheque book. Think of a friend who you can trust, maybe your parents, maybe a friend. Maybe me! Write out the cheque to that person for 100-200 dollars and tell them: "I need to stop watching this. And I can't. I need help. I'm going to text/email you EVERY DAY for the next 3 months. If I miss even one day... cash the cheque. It's yours."
The idea is that watching porn will be MORE uncomfortable than not watching it. By the time 3 months is up, you would have formed a no-porn habit.

2. Positive rewards. For every 1 week you don't watch porn, go do something you might not have otherwise done but would like to. Maybe a massage. Maybe paintball. Who knows. Go nuts. Reward yourself for the good behaviour.

3. Conditioning. My thinking is that we're all robots anyway. You can start to re-condition the way you think by using visualization, thought processes, etc, to give you a certain response.
Start to equate having a smaller sized dong with watching porn. I mean, actually begin to visualize your penis INCAPABLE of getting erect as a result of watching porn. Picture in your mind how you're unable to get hard, the girl laughs at you, then turns around, tells her friends and now they're laughing at you.
Every time you get the urge to watch porn, go through that movie or make one yourself.

4. Visualization. Think of how great it will be to finally put this behind you. Think of how great you'll be as a lover, think of how great you'll feel to finally put this burden, this baggage behind you. Picture in your mind your ideal self, how he stands, how he talks... all as a result of you not watching porn. Go through that kind of movie every time you get the urge.

5. Replace porn with something. If you've developed the habit of watching porn, it will be easier to kick that habit by actively replacing it with something that is more constructive. Will power is in short supply, I'm afraid. It's one of those rare, precious, small-quantity forms of energy we have. Better to use that will power to, instead, practice the visualization I mentioned up there and replace porn with something else entirely. Like, I don't know, maybe you prefer taking up a class of some sort. Maybe you prefer going out and meeting women. Try Yoga. Hit the gym. Learn to cook.

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

Thanks I think I will create a log I can post too about quitting porn. This is day 1

[Big Al AdministratorPEGym EditorMale Enhancement Coach Rep.PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Big Al]

The above posts contain great links!

Here's a sobering interview that's on topic with this thread: Pornography- Ted Bundy's Last Interview

[MoneyShots Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MoneyShots]

At least you know where the problem is. I gave up porn for about 5 months and it was awesome. My girlfriend at the time noticed a difference in my interest in sex and I wasn't as judgmental of my size/abilities based on what I saw in porn.

[wiseman Member Find all posts View Profile Close wiseman]

@CanIgrowPlease, speaking from my own experience, my theory is this:

You are addicted to porn and it has also affected your mind (it lead your insecurities to a very high level, and it makes you feel depressed). When feeling extremely horny, you watch porn, and after you masturbrate to porn, you feel depressed i believe. All this depression (if i'm correct) probably leads you to NOT having the mood for sexual activities. After some days without masturbration, your horniness level gets higher, and then your addiction strikes again, and you end up watching porn again.

So, i'll tell you how i fought against this addiction, and finally, after a lot of failure, i made it.

When i felt horny, i went to the bathroom and i masturbrated by my own, using just my fantasy. Of course some-times after 1-2 weeks, i failed! I failed multiple times, but the key is to keep trying. Anyway, after a lot of tries, you will learn to control yourself. And the best thing? The depression will be gone, your mood for sexual activities will be a lot higher, your penis will be much healthier, etc.

Just try to masturbrate by your own when you start feeling uncontrolably horny. After ejaculation, you don't need porn. It's a trick that worked for me.

Good luck, and i hope i helped you. It's a really tough addiction.

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

@CanIgrowPlease, speaking from my own experience, my theory is this:

You are addicted to porn and it has also affected your mind (it lead your insecurities to a very high level, and it makes you feel depressed). When feeling extremely horny, you watch porn, and after you masturbrate to porn, you feel depressed i believe. All this depression (if i'm correct) probably leads you to NOT having the mood for sexual activities. After some days without masturbration, your horniness level gets higher, and then your addiction strikes again, and you end up watching porn again.

So, i'll tell you how i fought against this addiction, and finally, after a lot of failure, i made it.

When i felt horny, i went to the bathroom and i masturbrated by my own, using just my fantasy. Of course some-times after 1-2 weeks, i failed! I failed multiple times, but the key is to keep trying. Anyway, after a lot of tries, you will learn to control yourself. And the best thing? The depression will be gone, your mood for sexual activities will be a lot higher, your penis will be much healthier, etc.

Just try to masturbrate by your own when you start feeling uncontrolably horny. After ejaculation, you don't need porn. It's a trick that worked for me.

Good luck, and i hope i helped you. It's a really tough addiction.

Youvalmost hit the nail on the coffin. The thing is I use my imagination when I masturbate. I dry himp my bed on my side to get off. I don't masturbate to porn at all. Other than that you're spot on.

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

At least you know where the problem is. I gave up porn for about 5 months and it was awesome. My girlfriend at the time noticed a difference in my interest in sex and I wasn't as judgmental of my size/abilities based on what I saw in porn.

I see we have the same girth. How do you get over that ? And how are you successful in bed with you're current girth ?

[Zman007 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Zman007]

I see we have the same girth. How do you get over that ? And how are you successful in bed with you're current girth ?

Because ones sexual identity, sexual confidence, and ability to please a woman is not directly dependent on the size of your penis.

The only reason your girth is a problem is because you are making it into one. You are building such a level of performance anxiety associated with the size of your one is that it will absolutely cause you difficulty in bed and negatively impact your sex life. It's a problem of your own creation.

4.5" Girth is not far below the median and close enough that it is absolutely not an issue for satisfying a woman.. Unless you turn it into one!

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

Because ones sexual identity, sexual confidence, and ability to please a woman is not directly dependent on the size of your penis.

The only reason your girth is a problem is because you are making it into one. You are building such a level of performance anxiety associated with the size of your one is that it will absolutely cause you difficulty in bed and negatively impact your sex life. It's a problem of your own creation.

4.5" Girth is not far below the median and close enough that it is absolutely not an issue for satisfying a woman.. Unless you turn it into one!

Yeah I admit I'm making it a problem. It's just when I heard that gorth is the most important and I see that my girth isn't big. I get a little depressed, everyday it's always in my mind. My first time is always on my mind. I just need a little confidence with my size. But being a virgin in college doesn't help knowing alot of people in college are experienced.

[MoneyShots Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MoneyShots]

I see we have the same girth. How do you get over that ? And how are you successful in bed with you're current girth ?

I've never had a complaint about my size and seriously done ever anticipate it. I have said it a few times already and will say it again here. I did not know that my girth was not all that great until I found PEgym. I have had quite a few partners (Over 25 easily) and I'm 27 btw. Thats is not to brag by an means. Most of those women came back for more and talk of how satisfying sex was for them even to this day. So you're fine unless you have no personality or anything else going for you for that mater. Go out and enjoy the college life. Make mistakes and learn from them while you have the chance. Just be safe about it.We've had enough std cases reported here from others. Your size is plenty to go have fun with.

[CanIgrowPlease Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CanIgrowPlease]

I've never had a complaint about my size and seriously done ever anticipate it. I have said it a few times already and will say it again here. I did not know that my girth was not all that great until I found PEgym. I have had quite a few partners (Over 25 easily) and I'm 27 btw. Thats is not to brag by an means. Most of those women came back for more and talk of how satisfying sex was for them even to this day. So you're fine unless you have no personality or anything else going for you for that mater. Go out and enjoy the college life. Make mistakes and learn from them while you have the chance. Just be safe about it.We've had enough std cases reported here from others. Your size is plenty to go have fun with.

What's your npbel and just bang away huh ?

[MoneyShots Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MoneyShots]

What's your npbel and just bang away huh ?

NPEL is slightly above 6.5 right about now and I wouldn't say just bang away. Put effort into being good at it and you'll be fine. I am just suggesting you get out there and see what you can do with what you have. I'm confident that you'll be surprised of how little your size matters just like so many of us are already aware.

[watersnake Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close watersnake]

Use the mental disturbance you get from porn as motivation to pe. Convert your habit from masturbation to jelqing, and you will be bigger soon enough.