EnduranceFound's journey to lasting longer

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Hey everyone! Welcome to my log.

Introduction:

Experimented with PE back in 2007. Was 5.1" Gained around .8" in length, and .6" in girth. I haven't measured in a couple years, but I'm pretty sure I lost most of the gains. These days I feel comfortable about my size, so this isn't a focus for me.

I'm plagued by a different sexual insecurity-- Premature ejaculation. From what I understand, people suffer from this for different reasons. In my situation I believe it's a function of a few variables. A mixture of anxiety, an overactive nervous system, and involuntary pelvic floor contractions. I also had some serious trauma between 0-3, much of which involved my dick.

I last in the 3-8 minute range with women I feel comfortable with; ex-gfs, girls I've slept with 10+ times, etc.. With new partners I typically last in the 10second-90second range. Given this, I think it's safe to say the anxiety is playing a reasonably large role.

I'm at the lowest low of my sex life. For years I thought I was doing something wrong with my interactions with women.. I now realize that I don't struggle interacting with women. In fact, there have been several girls where there is mutual attraction where I don't escalate. Even if they are throwing themselves at me. I've straight up rejected two direct verbal "Do you want to fuck?" from attractive women. I consistently freeze up with any sort of escalation. Obviously this sucks. But its not only myself that has suffered, I've wasted the time/energy of others, and hurt many women.

I'm a little embarrassed that it took me until my mid-20s to figure this shit out. It's even more embarrassing because I consider myself relatively self-aware.

I'm going to spend a little bit of time researching a proper routine to follow. I've browsed through most of the "must-read" stuff. I'm going to re-read the stuff that seemed best and post a routine. I travel frequently, which makes privacy a bit more difficult. Any suggestions(+reasons), would be appreciated!

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

First off, welcome my friend, we are glad to have you as a part of the forums. You are among friends, any question, any topic if fair game, let us help you past this scorn that has filled your life. On the bright side, understand that you are not alone, many if not all have experienced similar issues and have plowed through them. Time, dedication and a drive to want to correct is the right mind set.

First off, as you are well read in the forums, is to study up on edging. Learning the triggers that cause you to jump over the Point of No Return (PONR). This is key to your rehab. Practice edging instead of masturbating and learn those things that send you over the edge. Only you can do that and it will take time. Let us know if your search on edging brings up the need to clarify anything. But the training is in your court, there are no easy remidies to Pre-E, it will take some time and dedication. Let us know of your progress that we may refocus if needed. Cheers, and welcome aboard, we will work through this.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Thanks for the support ZZ. I do appreciate it. I think your right when it comes to edging. This is going to be the focus of my routine.

I've decided I'll start edging nightly, and only ejaculate 1/3 days. I think a minimum of 20 minutes is key. I feel like *how* I edge is going to matter more than how long I edge, so I'll make sure to keep re-reading from the masters on this forum.

I'm going to actually try and enjoy the process(edging), as even moderate amounts of enjoyment will make this much easier to do.

I have edged before, and my past method has been edge dry and alternate between lying down(mostly) and standing. Occasionally I'll create this lube/condom+rolled yoga mat party and get movement involved. (Do people do this? it was what seemed like the best idea to me a few months ago)

I also expect to see results faster than most people because I am not starting from scratch. You all should know that I have been doing some forms of edging on and off for the last few weeks. Same with kegels. I also go the gym 2-3 times/wk(when I'm in a city) and do mostly squats, deadlifts, and bench. I also practice yoga a couple hours/wk.

I have time, dedication and persistence. If anything, I think my mindset is a little too determined. I'm more prone to struggle with the sensual/fun aspect and actually enjoy sex.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

First 3 days went well.

Edged in the 20-30minute range first two nights dry jacking. Edging with dry jacking is easier than I expected. I feel like I can stay in an aroused/controlled state for several minutes. I tend to get distracted and lose arousal as often as I get too excited and calm myself down.

Today I mixed in lube/movement and its much harder. Involuntary kegels fire off almost immediately and are triggered very easily. Staying in an aroused/controlled state is very difficult.

I started off slow in all the sessions and tried to notice states and enjoy the experience.

I noticed the higher arousal states tend to automatically trigger thoughts associated with ejaculating, so I'm going to have to spend lots of effort "re-programming" my mind.

I also noticed any strong stimulation results in an involuntary kegel. I've been reverse kegelling and slowing down when this happens.

I've been trying to focus on belly breaths to keep my nervous system under control.

I'm going to continue with this 2dry/1wet for 20-25minutes for the next 3 days.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Two dry sessions both in the 20-30minute range. Getting myself to PONR feels like it would be more difficult. lube/movement masturbation is still very difficult. I'm been counter-acting the IK with reverse kegels both hard and soft/prolonged.

My last session only lasted ~10minutes. Got excited and made a conscious effort to let her blowwww.

I'm going to switch to ejaculating 1/3 but on dry days, not wet days. I think its better that I condition my mind/body to keep under more control in the more stimulating environment.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

It gets easier with practice, you are in the beginning stages so be patient and learn from each session. Hopefully you will learn what makes you feel good and can isolate it from all the other messages firing through you during arousal. Have you started a conditioning program in addition to the edging? Better EQ can make it easier to control in some instances.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

^ Thanks. I haven't started a conditioning program outside of edging. I do lots of squats and deadlifts, but I'm not sure if this counts. Any recommendations on a type of program?

The last couple nights I've been in hostels.. so no chance to edge. Instead, I have started reading Mantak Chia's "Taoist secrets of love" which looks to be very interesting.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

^ Thanks. I haven't started a conditioning program outside of edging. I do lots of squats and deadlifts, but I'm not sure if this counts. Any recommendations on a type of program?

The last couple nights I've been in hostels.. so no chance to edge. Instead, I have started reading Mantak Chia's "Taoist secrets of love" which looks to be very interesting.

I would restart by beginning the JP90 program again so that you have the EQ and good blood flow. You most certainly can edge in hotel rooms, just make sure the do not disturb sign is up. But edging will be your best bet to train yourself to have more stamina. Read what others have to say as well, each day, someone else posts in the Pre-E forum and everyone can learn from others experiences.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

I would restart by beginning the JP90 program again so that you have the EQ and good blood flow. You most certainly can edge in hotel rooms, just make sure the do not disturb sign is up. But edging will be your best bet to train yourself to have more stamina. Read what others have to say as well, each day, someone else posts in the Pre-E forum and everyone can learn from others experiences.

I was in a hostel room, so its a shared room.

Cool, I'll read some other forums and get some ideas.

---

Had sex for the first time in awhile. Didn't see any changes from previous experiences. Although yeah, first time in awhile and without a condom(rare for me).

Missed 3 days of edging but have my own room now so I will be more consistent. Last nights session was difficult. Stayed in the 5-6 arousal range for awhile and was distracted.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Updates: Sex stamina hasn't really been tested, but I feel I have made some small gains based on edging.

I've been edging, and actually enjoying it. It's something I'm looking forward to instead of forcing myself to do, so that's great news.

There is muscle that lifts your balls when stimulated. I suspect it is strongly correlated to stamina issues. I recently realized I have a hyper-active one. From my experiments, it seems linked to involuntary kegels, leads to faster ejaculation and is also active during ejaculation. I've been "re-training" it to be less responsive to stimulus. Arousal levels seems to stay lower when this muscle is "disabled".

I finished reading Mantak Chia's book about cultivating sexual energy. Overall it was an interesting read. Parts of it seem a bit far-fetched to me but there are some interesting concepts and I'm looking forward to giving one of the exercises a try.

I've been doing lots of squatting/deadlifts and yoga. My blood flow is good and testosterone is at relatively high levels.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Lots to update...

Had sex a couple days ago. After ~2minutes I was about to cum and flexed my PC muscles really hard in a dry orgasm attempt. I ended up cuming a bit, staying hard, replacing the condom, and continuing to have sex for 7-12 minutes. I could have went longer had I switched from missionary to doggy. Ended up "trying" to cum as we were both getting tired. edit: This is with someone I feel comfortable around, and I don't have any anxiety during sex. It's certainly a win, but I suspect I wouldn't be able to do this with a new person.

I've added some stretching in various directions for 20-30seconds in a flaccid/semi-flaccid state. While moving into a stretch I move slowly and try to avoid IKs. The thinking is to reprogram my nervous system so I can gain full mobility and not have IKs fire off if I fuck a certain way which could lead to PE.

I'm edging with a homemade "fleshlight". I'm quite happy with the setup I've crafted. It is ~free and I can travel with it. The stimulation is pretty solid. It doesn't feel as good as sex, but its close. If I got a 2020 oculus-rift setup going I believe my interest in pursuing women would plummet. On that thought-- there is a trillion dollar business.

I haven't been actively working my PC muscles, but apparently they are quite strong. I attempted an "assisted" dry orgasm today and succeeded. I basically used a cord to hold down my ball from "flexing up" during orgasm. The dry orgasm felt better than most wet orgasms. The whole pelvic area of my body "orgasmed". I also felt some energy on my spine, on the bottom 50-70%. I'll be reading "the multi orgasmic man" and exploring this some more.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

Ok, so I recently had my second "assisted" dry orgasm. I have to say, it was certainly the best orgasm of my life.

Before today, my wet and dry orgasms were in the 4-8 seconds range. This one today was 9-15 seconds(Its quite hard for me to figure out how long it was?). So yeah, thats great news, and I have more. I'm quite sure I can go longer, perhaps much longer. I was sort of like "wtf?" and I cam ~15-30% of total load at the end.

Its difficult to describe. I felt a lot of "energy" moving around through my core/lower back and pelvic region. It was sort of pulsating around. It was relatively evenly-distributed but with some areas vibrating/pulsating with more energy.

I'm not sure which is the better route moving forward.. Getting the energy up to my brain, or increasing orgasm time?

If I can get the best orgasm of my life after a couple hours of "work" and I enjoy this "work" then I'm about to be entering into a world of awesomeness.

[EnduranceFound Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close EnduranceFound]

I tried experimenting yesterday with another dry orgasm. This time I went from low arousal to high arousal quickly and the orgasm lasted in the 5-7 second range, and was far less powerful. I had my PC muscle flexed for the entire orgasm, didn't use any "assistance", and there was 0 cum. Also, I was far less energized after this dry orgasm relative to the last one. I also noticed the energy took the same path into my core, instead of going up my back/spine as explained in taoist teachings. Immediately after I lay down, and reveled. I think the better method is train my brain/body to continue stimulation/arousal shortly after my first dry orgasm. (since this is what would happen during sex), and also is what I will begin doing this in my experiments. My sample size is small, but I suspect edging for longer results in a longer orgasm time, makes it harder to hold the PC muscle, and feels stronger.

[waterass420 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close waterass420]

I'm struggling from pe too and I have the same "symptoms" (kegeling, balls clenching etc). Any updates ?I was finding this log really helpful.Thanks!