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Detailed Background (TL;DR below)
I started having sex this past summer, and the first few times I lasted around 5 minutes. It got better from there, and at my peak this summer I was lasting between 15 and 20 minutes. This was with thicker condoms, Trojan ENZ. I was also having sex more often and I think this helped me stay accustomed to it and last longer. Got a little anxiety about PE after I disappointed her a few times by busting early
A few months ago I decided to use thinner condoms. As in way thinner, Kimono Microthins. Going from one of the thicker condoms out there to Kimonos definitely made it harder to last as long due to the increased sensation, but I've used them exclusively since then because they feel way better and I really don't want to go back to something thicker and get used to it, I want to get better at sex without a condom dulling the sensation.
I switched condoms because I like a snug fit and I prefer how Kimonos are skin-tight on me. I started to wonder if my penis was big enough, and eventually developed the irrational belief that I was too small, or too narrow at least. I'm 7" x 4.75" and started to think that I was too thin to ever satisfy. This morphed into anxiety about sex, which I think has helped my PE get to where it is now.
The anxiety about sex is definitely a big part, there have been a few times when she looked clearly disappointed that I was finished. This made me worry more about lasting because "I couldn't last time" etc.
Sex also happens less often now, so I worry more about making it worth it each time which has the opposite effect.
I recently told my partner that I'm working on this and she was very accommodating, so this past time I wasn't as consciously worried about disappointing.
The last two times I've had sex it was soon after edging without orgasm. This was probably a mistake, as I only lasted a few minutes the first round. Round two right after is pretty good, like 15 minutes or so without having to pull out a ton. We'll see what happens now that she's understanding.
TL;DR
I started having sex this summer with thick condoms, went from lasting 5 minutes up to 15-20.
Came early a few times in stressful situations, this disappointed girl, which got me worried about blowing too early. Eventually I started worrying that my length didn't matter and my girth (4.75") wasn't enough and switched to tighter and much thinner condoms.
Now I had increased anxiety and increased sensation. Surprise, I didn't last as long. Started kegels, without them I'd probably bust within 5 minutes every time. Started edging, no routine yet so I can't tell if it's helped.
Where I am now
-I've got decent PC conditioning now due to kegels, stopped orgasm plenty of times during sex
-Minimal RK ability, I need to get working on this but not sure how to start.
-I still reach PONR way too damn early.
-I want to pound, but I can't really because PONR is so close
-Breathing techniques don't really help
-No real training routine, I need to address this.
Questions
-Does anyone have experience and or tips for dealing with the mental side of PE? The most frustrating part is how I used to be better than I am now and I don't know how to get back to that
-Is there a good rule of thumb for timing a K/RK routine and edging routine? How many days a week, etc.
-What kegel routine would be recommended for someone with pretty good PC strength but minimal RK experience?
-Should I be using a firm grip when edging to desensitize myself a little?
I don't want death grip but it might be good to feel just a little bit less.
-How many days a week should I rest? Sometimes I'll get sore from edging 20+ min daily.
-How do I get better at pounding? I can only do like 10-15 hard and fast thrusts before slowing down/PONR and I just want to pound hard and long.
I'd really appreciate some help/advice from others regarding this, I know I need to set up a routine of some sort but I don't know where to go from here and it feels kind of hopeless.
I started having sex this past summer, and the first few times I lasted around 5 minutes. It got better from there, and at my peak this summer I was lasting between 15 and 20 minutes. This was with thicker condoms, Trojan ENZ. I was also having sex more often and I think this helped me stay accustomed to it and last longer. Got a little anxiety about PE after I disappointed her a few times by busting early
A few months ago I decided to use thinner condoms. As in way thinner, Kimono Microthins. Going from one of the thicker condoms out there to Kimonos definitely made it harder to last as long due to the increased sensation, but I've used them exclusively since then because they feel way better and I really don't want to go back to something thicker and get used to it, I want to get better at sex without a condom dulling the sensation.
I switched condoms because I like a snug fit and I prefer how Kimonos are skin-tight on me. I started to wonder if my penis was big enough, and eventually developed the irrational belief that I was too small, or too narrow at least. I'm 7" x 4.75" and started to think that I was too thin to ever satisfy. This morphed into anxiety about sex, which I think has helped my PE get to where it is now.
The anxiety about sex is definitely a big part, there have been a few times when she looked clearly disappointed that I was finished. This made me worry more about lasting because "I couldn't last time" etc.
Sex also happens less often now, so I worry more about making it worth it each time which has the opposite effect.
I recently told my partner that I'm working on this and she was very accommodating, so this past time I wasn't as consciously worried about disappointing.
The last two times I've had sex it was soon after edging without orgasm. This was probably a mistake, as I only lasted a few minutes the first round. Round two right after is pretty good, like 15 minutes or so without having to pull out a ton. We'll see what happens now that she's understanding.
TL;DR
I started having sex this summer with thick condoms, went from lasting 5 minutes up to 15-20.
Came early a few times in stressful situations, this disappointed girl, which got me worried about blowing too early. Eventually I started worrying that my length didn't matter and my girth (4.75") wasn't enough and switched to tighter and much thinner condoms.
Now I had increased anxiety and increased sensation. Surprise, I didn't last as long. Started kegels, without them I'd probably bust within 5 minutes every time. Started edging, no routine yet so I can't tell if it's helped.
Where I am now
-I've got decent PC conditioning now due to kegels, stopped orgasm plenty of times during sex
-Minimal RK ability, I need to get working on this but not sure how to start.
-I still reach PONR way too damn early.
-I want to pound, but I can't really because PONR is so close
-Breathing techniques don't really help
-No real training routine, I need to address this.
Questions
-Does anyone have experience and or tips for dealing with the mental side of PE? The most frustrating part is how I used to be better than I am now and I don't know how to get back to that
-Is there a good rule of thumb for timing a K/RK routine and edging routine? How many days a week, etc.
-What kegel routine would be recommended for someone with pretty good PC strength but minimal RK experience?
-Should I be using a firm grip when edging to desensitize myself a little?
I don't want death grip but it might be good to feel just a little bit less.
-How many days a week should I rest? Sometimes I'll get sore from edging 20+ min daily.
-How do I get better at pounding? I can only do like 10-15 hard and fast thrusts before slowing down/PONR and I just want to pound hard and long.
I'd really appreciate some help/advice from others regarding this, I know I need to set up a routine of some sort but I don't know where to go from here and it feels kind of hopeless.
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