Committed to improvement

[PhilipKDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PhilipKDick]

Sex during the early phases of training is always a confidence killer. You're not alone there.
Keep your chin up, brother!

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Thanks, man. I’m pushing on.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

I had an interesting edging session today. It started the same as always, the first 5 mins are really difficult to not reach the PONR. Very intense IK constantly. I have to go at a snail’s pace. RK kegels were not stopping the IKs. From the 5 to 10 minute mark, I did the start/stop method at a more realistic sex pace. Then, around 10 minutes, I reached an arousal level around 9, I stopped, did a hard kegel, and from that point on I didn’t have anymore IK’s. I felt like I could go on forever. I continued to edge for another 15 minutes in a number of different positions.

I have no idea why that happened. I have never edged and not felt IKs.

[Ellford Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Ellford]

Are you working on your breathing at all? If not, meditation will help. You can pseudo-meditate while having sex to help calm your breathing and excitement levels.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Are you working on your breathing at all? If not, meditation will help. You can pseudo-meditate while having sex to help calm your breathing and excitement levels.

I am trying to be aware of my breathing, and breathe from the belly. I often find myself still holding my breath. Do you have any specific mediation exercises, or can I follow a general mediation approach?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Today I had my first edging session where I didn’t have any IKs in the first 5 minutes, even when going at a normal speed. It was the first time I felt any type of plateau (without having to reach a PONR and hard kegel). I started the session in a bad mood. I was frustrated about getting my son out the door to school. So, when I started the session my mind was definitely in a different place. Either way, it showed me that my body is capable of not having IKs. Only time will tell if I can make that happen more consistently, when I am in a happy mood, and when I’m having real sex.

Other things I worked on today: relaxed breathing, RKs, tennis ball massage, Hindi squats, etc.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

I am slowly beginning to make progress on moderating my arousal and building a plateau while using a fleshlight. I’ve learned that that if I go very slowly during the first 2-3 minutes (slow stroke, on my back, no thrusting, no arousing thoughts) I can get to a plateau where I can stroke at a moderate (normal sex pace for me and my wife) for a good 5 to 10 minutes with some thrusting. This is the first time I’ve ever felt a plateau and not just an immediate transition to a PONR. Once at the plateau, I can switch to a standing position or doggie style and maintain the plateau. Missionary is still a challenge because of all the pelvic floor muscles I tighten to be in that position.

I believe these gains are a result of RKs, relaxing to reduce/minimize IKs, better breathing, and edging practice. I do not think these results will transfer to real sex yet. But, this is the first time in my life I feel confident that I can make improvements.

Next steps are to add some arousing thoughts, add more thrusting, increase speed, and work on the missionary position.

Thanks for all the help, suggestions, and support!

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Today’s session felt like a bit of a step backwards. I started with 3-4 mins of ballooning. I decided to add arousing thoughts to this session because I have been making steady progress over the past two weeks. After the short ballooning session, I started edging with a STU. I could feel pretty intense IK from the beginning, and no amount of RKs or deep breathing help me get them under control. I battled for 10 minutes having to stop and start 4 or 5 times. I then did some more ballooning. Next, I edged again in a standing position. Every couple minutes my arousa level shot up above a 9. I would hard kegel, RK, try to relax, and start again. After the 3rd time doing this, I finally reached a plateau and went for another 10 minutes of edging. Today was My third edging day, so I planned to ejaculate. But, in the end, because I had found this plateau, I couldn’t make myself ejaculate...

So, I was all over the place today. I’m not sure why.

Other things I did today: RKs, breathing and relaxation, Hindi squats and yoga poses.

[LaCasaDePapel Member Find all posts View Profile Close LaCasaDePapel]

Can you tell me what yoga poses you do?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Can you tell me what yoga poses you do?

Poses/Stetches:
Child’s pose
Cobra
Cat
Cow
Downward dog
Hindi squat
Butterfly and reverse butterfly

Then I’ve started doing this stretch where it’s like a Hindi squat but my feet are further apart. In a squat position, I rock my weight from being over one foot to the other.

Also, when in Hindi squat position, I try to lean a little more forward- otherwise I don’t feel the stretch.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

I had “real” sex tonight. I put that in quotes because I talked with my wife and explained to her that I have been practicing a number of techniques (breathing, arousal awareness, achieving a plateau, etc) and would really like to try to see if I can make these things work during real sex. She was up for it. I said I will need to control how things go, especially at the beginning.

We started with kissing and oral for her so she could have at least one orgasm. I kept my pajamas on and really tried to keep my arousal level low. I did a number of RKs while giving oral to stay relaxed. But, I had a hard erection and was a little worried that things could go as normal.

Then we had sex with her on top. I told her that when I first get in, we need to stop for about 10-15 seconds because a wave of intense arousal comes over me (it’s like some drug is released in my body). Then I had her go very slowly. We went for a couple minutes, and I was RK’ing and deep breathing like crazy - so much so that I started to loose my erection by the end. She gave me a little shit about it which was funny. I was really over doing the relaxation.

We switched positions to me standing at the edge of the bed. My EQ was up to 100% very quickly. I went slowly for about 2 minutes. I reached about a level 8, and then we switched back to her on top.

This is when I reached the first arousal plateau of my life during real sex. We had really hard, intense sex with kissing and fondling for about 10 minutes. It was really amazing. I decided to cum after the 10 minutes because I wanted to. Seriously, this was the only sexual experience I’ve ever had like that. I’m still in shock. I understand that I still have a long way to go to smooth out that first 5 minutes, which is key for not letting my arousal level to get out of control. I also understand that I will not always have a chance to do the stop/start and change positions at the beginning.

The most important things I’ve done during training were:
1. Became aware of my arousal levels.
2. Learned how to not let my arousal spike out of control in the first few minutes. That’s absolutely key for me.
3. Relaxing my breathing and my pelvic floor. Lots of RK training, practice deep breathing.
4 Pelvic floor stretching. Tennis ball, squats, reverse butterfly, etc.
5. Ballooning for arousal control and edging for stamina.

I’m sure there are many bad edging sessions and frustrating sexual experiences in my future. But today, I am feeling great and very optimistic!

With out this forum, I would still be stuck in that cycle of frustration and shame. Thank you!

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Congrats .
This is a good example of a guy showing commitment.
I am sure you will have further success in the future at which point i hope you can post in the success thread.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Congrats .
This is a good example of a guy showing commitment.
I am sure you will have further success in the future at which point i hope you can post in the success thread.

Thanks, Pegasus. I absolutely want to give back to the forum if I learn something that may benefit someone with PreE. I have committed myself to six months of training. I will commit to another six months to helping where I can on this forum if I find success.

[PhilipKDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PhilipKDick]

Fantastic, well done!

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

Nice Man! You motivatet me even more! Keep it up...