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[TheR Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheR]

Forgot to add. Tried ballooning again (with lube) but my body just doesn't react to it whatsoever!

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Forgot to add. Tried ballooning again (with lube) but my body just doesn't react to it whatsoever!

Okay. Good piece of information. Maybe it means that sensitivity isn’t the biggest issue for you. It sounds like IKs, holding your breath, and tight pelvic floor may be the main causes. If sensitivity isn’t a big issue for you, then it’s possible that the PYT balm won’t be helpful. It seems to work for a lot of people, but I’ve also read many reviews where it didn’t work for some.

I have no experience with the magnesium supplements. Let me know how that goes.

It sounds like your edging sessions with the STU are good indicators for what could happen with real sex. I’d say keep working on the relaxation, breathing, and loosing the pelvic floor with stretches and RKs. I couldn’t fight off the IKs for the first couple weeks either. I still have them now, but they are less intense and I seem to be able to handle them better or have gotten more used to them. I would keep going with the super slow speed. Even stop for a while and just breathe and RK with no movement during your edging. Are you ejaculating every time? It’s kind of a pain in the butt and I found it really hard not to do it - but I tried to only ejaculate every third time I edged. I think that did help my brain make the connection that I decide when I will ejaculate.

Good luck.

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

Yeah i am doing the same i only ejaculate ever 3-4 edging session to train my brain not the ejcaulate is the goal the intercourse is the goal

my edging session yesterday with STU was not so good like the last (i have to admit i was in a litte hurry) my time to ponr was one min less then the last time..and the overall feeling was not so under control..but i think this comes from my stressed body cause i have to be at a meeting in 1h.. will try it again

What i noticed: my pelvic floor was rock hard after the first ponr and i didnt get it loose, then i stop complete waitet about 4min in this pose with deep breaths and rk (https://consciouslifenews.com/10-yog...ions/11100829/) then my pelvic floor loosens and my errection was at lvl 2-3 i startet again but after a few pumps the ponr was back with very slow strokes about 7-10 sek.
I have done so hard rk cause i wanted to loosens this hard pelvic floor that my anus starts to hurt so i stopped..
I think i forget this session and will try it again.

i get myself 2-3 times in the "old me" feeling, id like just to pump the stu for the feeling of ejaculating, i have to stop and sayed to myself "dont do it" i think this feeling overcome a lot of us an we dont recognize it, it is really hard to recognize this wehn u into it.

how is your training going? any news/updates?

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

@iwillbeatit

Thanks for the update. I definitely had days where I took a step back - even after I felt like I had figured something out. I agree that stress can change how your body and mind reacts. Keep going. You have made progress over the last week.

I have a question. You said your anus hurt. Was that from RKs? I've heard that you can reverse kegel two different muscles (or groups of muscles): the back (including the anus) and the front. Are you doing a RK that make your anus feel like it's relaxing? I believe that I've read that the RKs for ejaculation control is on the muscles that are further forward (in the direction of the penis and not your anus). Are you doing RKs on the entire pelvic floor (front and back) or just the back? I am making an assumption here - so maybe I'm not understanding what you are doing, but the next time you urinate maybe try to start the flow of pee without RKing your anus - just the front muscle(s)? Those are the ones that I loosen to control arousal. Maybe someone who's more of an expert can give some guidance here.

I've definitely had sessions where no amount of breathing, relaxing, RKs helped me lower my arousal once I had spike up to the PONR. After having that happen 2 or 3 times, I decided that I would try to slow down my speed, RK earlier, and try to stay further away from the PONR. Can you RK for every in thrust? Can you push your penis in without tightening your pelvic floor muscles?

I am still edging, ballooning, and stretching everyday. I want to have sex successfully four times before I modify my routine. That's a completely arbitrary number - but it's something I've decided. With edging, I am at the point where I do my "start-up" process of breathing, RKs, relaxing my body to let that initial flush of feeling pass through me (maybe 30 seconds) -- and then I can go at a high speed in the four positions I've practiced (on back, standing, on knees, and in missionary). The hip rotation trick that I got from Pegasus's idea was the breakthrough that now allows me to do missionary without spiking out of control. That was the knowledge that I really needed to figure that position out.


I'm starting to play around with allowing my arousal level to go higher. For a while, I'd say I was conservative and tried to stay near a 5-6 in arousal (EQ was near 100%). But now, I want to push that higher. I am aiming for a 6-7 and control the level with my speed, RKs, etc. After having sex a couple more times, I plan to introduce some normal kegels into my routine. For stretching, I have a very soft tennis ball that I sit on much of the day. I still do the yoga stretches, hindi squats, butterfly/reverse butter fly. I mostly use ballooning at the beginning to get things going. Now that I'm not looking at porn, it's a bit more difficult to get started. I'd also like to ramp down my edging. Doing it everyday allowed me to make the fastest progress and allowed my body to really get used to all the intense feelings, but it's time consuming. So, after I hit the 4 successful sex sessions, I think I'll start dropping my edging sessions by one a week - and go from 7 a week to 3 a week.

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

Today i will do my next training session with STU will report back on monday.

I read your post yesterday and focused on my rk (during the day in work, in the car on the way home and so on..) i try to do front rk, and yeah i can feel a difference between back rk an front rk, so i am doing now front rk for the main time.

you mentioned in a other thread: in edging session you spike over 9, 9-5 and then the eding session is over because you dont come down again! man u are so right, that was my problem my last 2 sessions and i didnt see it, i will try this definitly today.
But: i think we should go on the edge in a "edging" session...?

In edging how you do it? u try to increase the time to the ponr or what i read in other threads from other users they try to get to the ponr and stay there at the lvl for 10 and more minutes. in my opinion i think its better to increase the time to the ponr - whats your opinion?

I dont have so much time to edge every day, i try 3-4 times a week, i know i will need a few more days weeks but its ok i have pr e now for 30 years
i forgot your hip trick in my last session, have to try it today.
but i am training every day streches, hindi, rk, and so on..

Its nice to talk to you, someone how got the same problem, and the same effort and will to fight it. It keeps me motivatet and even more motivates me then u can last around 10min in bed! BIG congrats!
thats my first goal too.

so nobody answerd on my autosuggestion thread, do you use it? U say to yourself "i can have sex 20min" "i can determin when i ejcaulate" i think it helps me to reprogramm my brain.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

When I started to see improvements and started to build a small plateau phase was when I began going very slowly, and did a lot of RKs right away so I never came close to the PONR. I focused on increasing the time to PONR. At first, it was 30 seconds, and then over a two week period I built up to 5 minutes. I had to stay relaxed, not thrust my hips because that caused me to tighten my pelvic floor.

I learned to RK for every in stroke of the STU with my hand while I inhaled.

That is the exact technique that is working with real sex. Looking back at my posts, I had no plateau for a couple weeks. But, then the plateau started increasing. I’d say keep the arousal low and work on increasing your time by going slow, breathing, and doing RKs.

Now that I have a plateau, I will work on pushing my arousal level up. But, there’s no way I could have done that without first building a plateau.

I have not tried auto suggestion. I think it would be helpful for building my confidence. I’ll give it a try.

In addition to the information on this form, the support and community aspects are extremely important.Good luck to you.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Good thread .

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

...
I dont have so much time to edge every day, i try 3-4 times a week, i know i will need a few more days weeks but its ok i have pr e now for 30 years ...

If you don’t have time for a full edging session every day, maybe you could do 5 minutes of ballooning in the bathroom to work on sensitive areas?

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

so yesterday i had a good edging session with stu, i had a lot of time wife was shopping so i take my time bevor i startet i take a few deep breaths and startet - first break at 12min!! and the session was 25min long! huge improvment, will see how the next one is going
What i noticed i used a new lube it was way better then the old one and i have to use much less then with the old on.

Today i have sex with my wife lastet 3min with 1 Position change and slow speed. I dont feel so under control, after the sex i was thinking about it what was "wrong" then i noticed i forget all my technics after a few strokes i dont breath deep, i dont rk, i dont relax.... we have done doggy, thats her favorite position (and i edge in this postition only for training) all i was seeing was my handy on her butt......i think my arousal was to high and so i forgot all my learnings and technics?

So this is not a fallback for me its a good step in the right way, a few weeks ago i would not do such of thinking whats "wrong" i would be in anger a a few moments because i lastet only a few minutes, but now i am doing thinking about it and i know what i have done wrong, what i have to do next time.

So lets get back to training, training, training...it will be better!


@Pegasus: thank you! WillGetBetter is a good teacher! he put a lot of information an effort to his posts!

[Shikamaru Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Shikamaru]

so yesterday i had a good edging session with stu, i had a lot of time wife was shopping so i take my time bevor i startet i take a few deep breaths and startet - first break at 12min!! and the session was 25min long! huge improvment, will see how the next one is going
What i noticed i used a new lube it was way better then the old one and i have to use much less then with the old on.

Today i have sex with my wife lastet 3min with 1 Position change and slow speed. I dont feel so under control, after the sex i was thinking about it what was "wrong" then i noticed i forget all my technics after a few strokes i dont breath deep, i dont rk, i dont relax.... we have done doggy, thats her favorite position (and i edge in this postition only for training) all i was seeing was my handy on her butt......i think my arousal was to high and so i forgot all my learnings and technics?

So this is not a fallback for me its a good step in the right way, a few weeks ago i would not do such of thinking whats "wrong" i would be in anger a a few moments because i lastet only a few minutes, but now i am doing thinking about it and i know what i have done wrong, what i have to do next time.

So lets get back to training, training, training...it will be better!


@Pegasus: thank you! WillGetBetter is a good teacher! he put a lot of information an effort to his posts!

have you told your wife about you trying to improve? that could help a lot and she could help you edge. Also if shes your wife , then you can be relaxed bro and know that you dont have to worry about too much. Second, try to make your sex last as long as possible. Shoot for 20mins, even if you have to pull out a lot. You should know your arousal scale which is the biggest factor that helped me become a lot better at sex because i knew when i got to a 8, and then a 9, 9.5 and i had to pull out and chill for a second or i was going to cum. or i could pull out around 9.5 and kegel really hard and stop myself from cumming then going back in. use your sex as edging sesions as well, take your time, do doggy go at your own speed. Eat her out first, so you can get her off then its your turn to just go at your pace. It took me 7 or 8 sessions of having 5mins of sex because i didnt know my arousal scale or the feeling to cum was just so strong i couldnt resist and i blew. after that, i got use to the sensations and it kept getting longer because the whole session, i would focus on my arousal scale and breathe and just see where im at. This helped a lot because i knew when i had to slow down, i knew when i could speed up. Try this and see how it works. Focus on arousal scale and relaxing ur pelvic floor. remember baby steps, you will see progress my friend.

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

If you don’t have time for a full edging session every day, maybe you could do 5 minutes of ballooning in the bathroom to work on sensitive areas?

Good idea i will do this in my daily shower thats 5min can definitly do every day and its also a step in the right direction.. thanks

[iwillbeatit Member Find all posts View Profile Close iwillbeatit]

@shikamaru: thanks for your nice words!

No i didnt say it my wife yet but i will do. first i like to train a bit an get a feeling of everthing rk, arousal lvl and so on..

ye i need to learn my arousal scale and i have definitly learn to get my arousal under control while having sex!
See sex as an edging session - good tip thanks will do so.


the problem is my wife is not so in foreplay and oral she does not like it, so we startet right away - i am trushing at slow speed like in edging with stu, but wife said please faster so there it startet getting out of control i go faster and only watched her ass...and forgot everthing..a little fall back in old patterns..

how did you do your arousal scale? i have no idea how to start one.

What i am really working on is rk, i did not get the feeling if i do an rk to lower my errection or press blood out of my penis..i have to put much time into this.

BUT its ok like u said baby steps.. i will train more, get more control, lets see next time sex maybe i can last a bit longer, first goal is 5min then 10min then 20min..


My goal is to last 20min at the end of this year, i defintly think i can do this!
It needs lot of training and dedecation but i love to spend the time to this..

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

so yesterday i had a good edging session with stu, i had a lot of time wife was shopping so i take my time bevor i startet i take a few deep breaths and startet - first break at 12min!! and the session was 25min long! huge improvment, will see how the next one is going
What i noticed i used a new lube it was way better then the old one and i have to use much less then with the old on.

Today i have sex with my wife lastet 3min with 1 Position change and slow speed. I dont feel so under control, after the sex i was thinking about it what was "wrong" then i noticed i forget all my technics after a few strokes i dont breath deep, i dont rk, i dont relax.... we have done doggy, thats her favorite position (and i edge in this postition only for training) all i was seeing was my handy on her butt......i think my arousal was to high and so i forgot all my learnings and technics?

So this is not a fallback for me its a good step in the right way, a few weeks ago i would not do such of thinking whats "wrong" i would be in anger a a few moments because i lastet only a few minutes, but now i am doing thinking about it and i know what i have done wrong, what i have to do next time.

So lets get back to training, training, training...it will be better!


@Pegasus: thank you! WillGetBetter is a good teacher! he put a lot of information an effort to his posts!

Glad to hear you’re making progress. Even small gains mean you’re moving in the right direction.

Yeah, it’s hard to remember to do everything in the moment with all the excitement. I started creating a specific routine or set of habits when I edge to mimic what I’ll do when having real sex. I imagine the scene, I start my breathing, I start my RKs, I get things going and check my arousal, I moderate my speed. There may be a day when I can be more spontaneous, but right now I don’t need any surprises. I need consistency. So, I visualize and practice the entire event.

I like the positive attitude. I feel the same way. Instead of my normal shame, I feel curious about my failures or set backs. What did I do, why did that happen, what can I try to do differently.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

So, I had a new and interesting thing happen during real sex yesterday. When we started up, things were going well. I felt confident and figured things would go the same as last time. I did oral, then we moved on to intercourse. When my wife was on top, instantly I could tell things were going too fast. I attempted to RK and I could not get my body to do it! I was so surprised (and confused). We stopped a couple times and I kept trying to get into the rhythm that worked before - but my pelvic floor was rock hard. I could not get the RK sensation at all. Ultimately, I ended by cumming quickly.

So, what the f? Over the past three weeks, I had developed a process that worked, and now all of the sudden I was lost again. After we finished, I spent some time trying to figure out what happened. Looking back on my daily progress journal, I realized I hadn’t done any pelvic floor stretching for the past 3-4 days. In that time, I had gone on a couple runs, did some exercise routines (push ups, sit ups, core work, weights). I didn’t stretch for any of it, even after the runs. I stopped doing the Hindi squats and yoga poses.

I became over confident, and naively thought I could have control in every sexual encounter. I guess when you get too cocky life knocks you down as a reminder.

I’ve spent the last two days stretching like crazy. After the first day, I could RK again. I edged last night, and it feels like I’m back on track.

With stretching, I was going through the motions, but didn’t really think they were helping. Now I realize that they are absolutely essential for me. Without them, I’m totally locked up.

There have been a couple people struggling with doing RKs recently in this thread and other threads. I wonder if part of the problem is that their pelvic floor is so tight that they cannot RK. Maybe stretching has to be the first part of the process for some people.

Either way, I’m going to push forward and will keep learning.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Any free time I had today I spent stretching. I figured out which tight muscle had kept me from being able to RK when I was lying on my back the other day. It was my stomach muscles. I had been doing a bunch of ab work and sit-ups last week. I didn’t stretch them at all. What tipped me off that that was the issue was that I also could not breathe from my belly (diaphragm). My stomach wouldn’t raise up at all. So, I did a bunch of stretching - mostly the yoga poses called the cobra and upward dog. After a few rounds of stretching, I could both breathe from my belly and RK while on my back.

We’ll have to see if that was the issue that made me cum early the other night.