Progress thread

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

29/11/18: Sorted myself and got back on the horse. Feeling much more positive. Edged today sitting down for 12-15 mins, didnt time this one. In the beginning very strong iks, the kind that happen when you actually ejaculate but these became less frequent once I got into it. Very very slow stroke with stu, 10 seconds full stroke. I started to feel really good pleasure sensations after focusing on it, at one point I think I lowered stroke time to 7-8 seconds but not for very long. The good news is that kit felt like plateau, something I haven't properly felt for the last week and a bit. Was trying to keep the arousal scale in mind when edging, never managed to lower my arousal. No ejaculation.

[Cephalus Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cephalus]

Excellent effort and will, @medusa.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

Excellent effort and will, @medusa.

THanks I really apreciate it!

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

01/12/18: Missed yesterday and today my pf felt very tense. Just from pressure of my dicks against trousers make its slightly hard, 4-5 or less, this would be enough for me to hold a light kegal for periods of time during the day. Try to ease it by accepting the feeling rather than fighting it, letting myself welcome arousal rather than reject it. Also found it hard to piss evrything out today and yesterday, usually feel like there is still a bit of urine in my bladder. Manged to squeeze routine at end of today, stretching felt good, released trapped air. edging okay, similar to last post. pleasure not as good, tried standing thrusting today and could manage it very slowly for about 5 mins give or take. Found that when sitting, leaning back quite a lot, I ik much more. This pose triggers iks when I'm pulling the stu away from me. Does not apply when standing. Could imagine sexual fantasies and cope better than earlier this week however I am stroking / thrusting at much slower pace 7-8 seconds today on average. no ejaculation

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

2/12/18: stretched. Edged 18 mins, same stroke rate as days before. Had trouble urinating even after stretching. Felt like I always had some left in my bladder. no ejaculation. Mixture of standing thrusting and sitting. Sitting still triggers very strong iks as I pull stu away, much less iks when standing thrusting but eventually creeps to ponr after time.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

3/12/18: Had a wet dream in the morning. Reminded me that while I was doing really well in my routine before I would have sex dreams that I just experienced pleasure without ejaculating. The wet dream reminded me of the ones I used to have at the height of my pre e, a sudden rush of pleasure then ejaculation.
Anyway edging went alright, couldn't reach the plateau I could a few days ago, might refresh my understanding of arousal techniques as I keep forgetting to use the arousal scale as a guide. When edging today Just before pulling stu away, the time I feel most iks, I paused each time and tried to rk and or relax my pf, with visualization. ejaculated today been about a week since I last ejaculated, not including my dream. Stroke rate was better today but want to focus on finding plateau however slow I have to go.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

3/12/18: (second session) Realized that might not have time tomorrow to do my routine so edged again today. Session went well, edged for 40 mins! One my longest ever sessions. Did about 12 mins standing thrusting in parts, then the rest sitting. no ejaculation.
When I felt myself getting too close to PONR I rubbed the head of my thumb quite quickly and with a bit of pressure, the sensation that I get is really unique, doesn't particularly feel that arousing, I dont know if it would even make me ejaculate if I did it for prolonged period. Its like a tingling sensation that overpowers the ponr in my head and clears my head. I'm usually less erect after doing it as well. Later into my session when I was very sensitive to pleasure I focused while doing this and tried to send the sensation through my body and I could actually feel it spreading, could feel it mainly in my jawline.
Plateau was elusive until after about 20-25 mins, only really occurred when I was focusing on staying on top of my arousal, whenever I was in plateau and started to think sexual imagery I would lose it and start to get tense and my arousal would climb quickly.
Noticed something while edging thats confusing me slightly as well. When edging I fond myself doing quick light kegals that also feel pleasurable. Finding this one hard to explain. Gonna think about this more and try and explain it better another time.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

10/12/18: Hey everyone been a minute. I think I didn't manage to do my routine from the 6 to the 8th of dec last week. the 4th and 5th went well. But after this three day break, one which I couldnt avoid I feel I've taken another knock. Loads of iks and tension. Everytime my dick touches the fleshlight I ik now. I'm going to group yesterday and todays session in the same post because the experience was the same. To start off with, pissing has been a reoccurring issue for me but especially bad the last two days. Even after 20 plus mins stretching my pf, I still find myself standing at the toilet struggling to get the last few drops out. I also cant feel a strong connection to rks. Starting to doubt the benefits of strtetching for myself, have included stretching in my routine since July (had a routine I started in late July with no stu, included it in the op) The most tension i can feel is in my penis rather than my anus, maybe I need to incorporate more penis stretches. I feel like I can breath better anally so maybe this is where the benfits are, my point is my iks have recently been as strong as when I started.
Both sessions were between 10-12 mins just could deal with the frustration after that long. Also really low pleasure senstaions.
The worrying thing about today was I wasn't even fully hard with very strong iks, hardness around 5-6 lowest with iks.
Off on a tangent but I'd like to include that over the weekend (last friday) I was at a christmas party and was basically fed coke and an ecstacy pill by my co workers. Probably one of the nights I've had the most drugs in my life. I still feel like I'm recovering so if anyone else has any experience with drugs effecting their routine please let me know. I definitely feel more negative since then, and feel myself getting more anxious about this stagger in my progress making it harder to clear my mind and focus on positive open thoughts.
Maybe going to try supplements like magnesium. I've heard theres several ways to take them, is it magnesium flakes? If anyone knows I'd appreciate it. Just feel really confused again been at this for a while now. My proper routine started in October when I got an stu, but I've still been edging with my hand since late July so I just feel really tired. I think friday has played a big part in this so I'm just going to make sure I edge every day this week and listen closely to my body.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

11/12/18: Stripped it down just edged with my hand. Really focused on my arousal scale and staying in control. Alternated from using to just too fingers to a light full grip then tighter grip. Dont remember experiencing any iks, but pleasure sensations with my hand are minimal especially as I edged dry. Went for about 15 mins. Will try to rebuild from where I know I'm comfortable. PF in general felt less tight as it has the last week, still takes time to get last drops out pissing, have been considering going to the doctor about this issue and see if they can help.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

I find it more difficult to rk in my penis. The tense feeling is in my penis not my anus. I think stretching has had a positive effect on my anus area, I feel like I can rk in my anus well, best while standing, and also noticed myself doing it naturally between thrusts in previous edging sessions. However I think these "back" rks arent effective enough if my penis is still tense. I'm going to do more reps of rks in my penis and report if theres progress. Currently can only do these reps standing.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

12/12/18: Just edged and it didnt go very well. used lube with my hand and felt ponr creep up within 3 mins. I think my problem is not strong iks, but rather low level constant iks that build quick. I've only just recently noticed them, but they happen even with the slightest of contact my penis experiences. I feel very surprised and disappointed because hand stuff is something I thought I had mastered.

I can tell because when I take my hand away during edging my penis relaxes, and if I hold it with a bit of pressure I can feel the muscles tightening and pushing my dick up. I don't know if this is a problem or if everyone experiences this but I really cant think of anything else. Would really appreciate if anyone has any advice with whats going on with me right now because I feel very confused

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

I find it more difficult to rk in my penis. The tense feeling is in my penis not my anus. I think stretching has had a positive effect on my anus area, I feel like I can rk in my anus well, best while standing, and also noticed myself doing it naturally between thrusts in previous edging sessions. However I think these "back" rks arent effective enough if my penis is still tense. I'm going to do more reps of rks in my penis and report if theres progress. Currently can only do these reps standing.

I agree that the front RKs are the ones that help the most with controlling arousal and maintaining a plateau under the PONR. For me, the front RKs were only possible at the beginning when I had my body in certain positions. It was similar to what you said about your back RKs - they work well for you when you're standing.

I would try playing around with your hip rotation. Get down on your hands and knees. Rotate your hips so that you have a dip in your back and your butt is sticking up and out. I cannot do a front RK in this position. It is an extreme anterior pelvic tilt (APT) position. When I rotate my hips the other direction which makes my back arch and round upwards like a cat, then I can do a very deep front RK. I rotate my hips like that when I am laying on my back during sex and when I'm in missionary position. It was a break through that I had to finally get RKs to lower or stabilize my arousal level.

I also have to be careful of the other muscles that get tightened or engaged when my body is in certain positions. I try to keep my stomach muscles mostly loose (but they do tighten a little when I push a RK). Play around with different leg positions so see what allows your pelvic floor to remain loose.

But - mostly play around with the hip rotation. I think that's really important.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

I agree that the front RKs are the ones that help the most with controlling arousal and maintaining a plateau under the PONR. For me, the front RKs were only possible at the beginning when I had my body in certain positions. It was similar to what you said about your back RKs - they work well for you when you're standing.

I would try playing around with your hip rotation. Get down on your hands and knees. Rotate your hips so that you have a dip in your back and your butt is sticking up and out. I cannot do a front RK in this position. It is an extreme anterior pelvic tilt (APT) position. When I rotate my hips the other direction which makes my back arch and round upwards like a cat, then I can do a very deep front RK. I rotate my hips like that when I am laying on my back during sex and when I'm in missionary position. It was a break through that I had to finally get RKs to lower or stabilize my arousal level.

I also have to be careful of the other muscles that get tightened or engaged when my body is in certain positions. I try to keep my stomach muscles mostly loose (but they do tighten a little when I push a RK). Play around with different leg positions so see what allows your pelvic floor to remain loose.

But - mostly play around with the hip rotation. I think that's really important.

Thanks for the tip! Yeah I agree I could feel the rk way more than standing in that pose. I will definitely do this more to get connected to front rks. Yeah I find it hard to keep my stomach soft when rking especially while thrusting!

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Yeah, I agree. It's a real balancing act. It requires a lot of trial and error and awareness of your body. Almost every time I have sex, something about my body catches me off guard and I have to learn something new. Keep playing around with it.

[medusa Member Find all posts View Profile Close medusa]

Yeah, I agree. It's a real balancing act. It requires a lot of trial and error and awareness of your body. Almost every time I have sex, something about my body catches me off guard and I have to learn something new. Keep playing around with it.

Yeah and its hard to pick up on these nuances when I'm feeling frustrated about this whole problem. Like you say "playing around," it should feel as free as that when edging or having sex. Open to however your body reacts to stimulation in that moment and embrace it.
Also I've been doing the curved cat back you mentioned to me and its been a real help in locating my front pf muscles so big thanks!