My Action Plan Journal

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Edging Update 01.28.19

Almost zero anxiety today while edging for about 35 minutes. Was feeling loose in the PF after APT exercises and PF stretching, and made sure I had proper pelvic forward posture, so my RKs were strong and I was able to keep the PF calm and relaxed. But the weird part of it was I would have great EQ but not really feel much at all. Arousal felt real low, I would even describe it at points being around a 4 or 5. That's super new to me to have good EQ but be at a 4 or 5 on my arousal curve. I gotta figure how to start increasing the pleasure without shooting to PONR too quickly. But over all, happy with how it went. No ejac.

[Paul789 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Paul789]

I think you are doing really well, you are obviously very dedicated. You mentioned good EQ but your arousal level not too high. This is another symptom of tightness in the pf, that is a stage i went through, it will pass though as you continue with your work.
What you often find with stretching and especially tennis ball massage is that at first (actually as with any muscle group) after a training session your symptoms can seem to worsen for maybe a day or two after the training as it can aggravate the muscle, (this is a flare up) and often these are the people that say stretching etc makes them worse. Just wait for the flare to pass, and then train again. You get to the stage where training no longer causes flares and the muscle starts to feel very relaxed and calm. The muscle can still be tight but it feels far more relaxed and i think this is the stage you are at now. So keep going and your arousal will return.

I used to find that stretching worked so much better after a little cardio work, rather than stretching cold. My results were quicker this way.

Also, try different types of stretching,
PNF stretching
dynamic stretching
isometric stretching.

As with cardio work, don't let your body get to familiar/comfortable with just one type of exercise 😎

And to echo what i said previously about the planks, just watch you arent doing 'anything' that can tense the muscles. When you are holding a stretch suddenly check in with your entire body that you aren't holding any tension.

Also, get a hard ball or can of deodarant and give the soles of your feet a deep tissue massage as often as with the rest of your body. If your foot muscles are very tense they can/will affect other muscle groups. Also adductors, these can hold 'major' trigger points on the inside knee and groin.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

I think you are doing really well, you are obviously very dedicated. You mentioned good EQ but your arousal level not too high. This is another symptom of tightness in the pf, that is a stage i went through, it will pass though as you continue with your work.
What you often find with stretching and especially tennis ball massage is that at first (actually as with any muscle group) after a training session your symptoms can seem to worsen for maybe a day or two after the training as it can aggravate the muscle, (this is a flare up) and often these are the people that say stretching etc makes them worse. Just wait for the flare to pass, and then train again. You get to the stage where training no longer causes flares and the muscle starts to feel very relaxed and calm. The muscle can still be tight but it feels far more relaxed and i think this is the stage you are at now. So keep going and your arousal will return.

I used to find that stretching worked so much better after a little cardio work, rather than stretching cold. My results were quicker this way.

Also, try different types of stretching,
PNF stretching
dynamic stretching
isometric stretching.

As with cardio work, don't let your body get to familiar/comfortable with just one type of exercise 

And to echo what i said previously about the planks, just watch you arent doing 'anything' that can tense the muscles. When you are holding a stretch suddenly check in with your entire body that you aren't holding any tension.

Also, get a hard ball or can of deodarant and give the soles of your feet a deep tissue massage as often as with the rest of your body. If your foot muscles are very tense they can/will affect other muscle groups. Also adductors, these can hold 'major' trigger points on the inside knee and groin.

I'll give some of this a try, thanks man! Ya I definitely have experienced that proverbial pushback from my muscles when first starting these kinds of stretches. Actually, unfortunately this morning I woke up with a very sore lower back on my left side. Not sure what thats about, but it feels most painful when I rotate my pelvis forward like you're supposed to for APT work. I may have overdone it yesterday. But I'm also feeling like my left side in general has been problematic in all my stretching especially knee to chest stretch where I can't even get my knee close to coming to my chest, so I'm thinking about calling up a chiropractor friend to get some work done.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Edging Update 01.30.19

Edging was absolutely terrible today. Because of my lower back pain from yesterday, I only did Hindi squat today. And then edging just did not go right. Could not get any feeling of control at all. Perfect storm of bad mood, didn't feel 100%, and then lack of discipline. I hesitated even writing this, but I did it since I need to be able to take the bad and the good. Hopefully next edging session will be better.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Edging Update 01.30.19

Edging was absolutely terrible today. Because of my lower back pain from yesterday, I only did Hindi squat today. And then edging just did not go right. Could not get any feeling of control at all. Perfect storm of bad mood, didn't feel 100%, and then lack of discipline. I hesitated even writing this, but I did it since I need to be able to take the bad and the good. Hopefully next edging session will be better.

I’m really glad you did write this. It shows other members that it’s not a straight line to success. And, I still go back to my log to read through the days when I struggled. I learned the most from putting my failures up on the site. All the feedback from the senior members got me moving in the right direction. And, sometimes I forget what worked to fix it, so I can reread and learn it over again.

I still have bad edging days. I agree with you that they are often due to a lack of discipline - not listening to where your body is, going too fast at the beginning, not breathing, not having the RK working, stopping too late, not switching positions, etc. It’s so easy to get caught up in it.

Tomorrow will be better.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Edging Update 01.31.19

Decided not to edge today, but just wanted to highlight the change in feeling in PF today after doing the APT work. It really makes a significant difference for me. It feels easier and more natural for my PF to relax when I've dedicated time and focus to re-position my pelvis forward. I also noticed a change in my package: balls dropped lower and my member seemed to relax and elongate which indicates to me a more free exchange of blood flow was happening post APT exercises.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

End of Week 3 Update

I did not do a good or even satisfactory job of sticking to my action plan for week 3. Gotta get back to making it the priority. On the upside, I have noticed a better ability to bring my arousal down during foreplay through breathing, pelvic positioning, mild RKs, and focused thoughts of relaxing my whole body. I don't have that same sensitivity in the head during foreplay that has previously led me to ejaculation even before penetration. Glad for that improvement at least.

Week 3.jpg

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

End of Week 3 Update

I did not do a good or even satisfactory job of sticking to my action plan for week 3. Gotta get back to making it the priority. On the upside, I have noticed a better ability to bring my arousal down during foreplay through breathing, pelvic positioning, mild RKs, and focused thoughts of relaxing my whole body. I don't have that same sensitivity in the head during foreplay that has previously led me to ejaculation even before penetration. Glad for that improvement at least.

[ATTACH]99743[/ATTACH]

Great to hear you’re making progress. Get back after it in week4! You’ve got this. Let the thought of having great sex wife your wife drive you forward.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

90 Day Plan Routine Update

I decided to make a couple adjustments to my routine to cut down a bit on time required as well as to focus more on the work that I can tell is contributing to my progress. Decided to post here so others who may follow will be aware of what I changed.

Breakwork (Added into Hindi Squat in Pelvic Floor Stretches)

• Use Breathe+ App
• Breath Cycle Settings: 3 seconds In, 0 second Hold, 4 seconds Out, 0 second Hold
• 10 minute duration
• Focus on relaxing pelvic floor and pushing a mild RK during

APT Stretches (practice breathwork, mentally relax pelvic floor) - 7 days/week

• Bodyweight Hip Thrusts - 3 sets, 10+ (increase when 3 sets is no longer difficult)
• RKC Plank - 2 sets, max time
• Lunge Stretch - 2 sets, 30 second holds
• Rectus Femoris Stretch - 2 sets, 30 second holds
• Twice a week hamstring curls at gym - 2 sets

Pelvic Floor Stretches (practice breathwork, mentally relax pelvic floor) - 7 days/week

• Knee to chest - 1 minute hold
• Cobra - 1 minute
• Butterfly - 1 minute
• Hindi Squat with Breathe+ App Breathwork - 10 minutes

Penis Stretches (practice breakwork, mentally relax pelvic floor) - 7 days/week (keeping this for EQ purposes, not sure it's helping PreE)

• Straight, Right, Left, Straight Up, Right Up, Right Left, Straight Down, Right Down, Left Down
• 30 Second hold each direction
• Finish by multi-directional free stretch for 1 minute
• Take note of IKs, focus on relaxing the pelvic floor throughout and try pushing mild RK

Tennis Ball Massage (practice breathwork, mentally relax pelvic floor) - 7 days/week

• Minimum 2 sets of 10 minutes each day

Edging (practice breathwork, mentally relax pelvic floor) - 3-5 days/week

• In the beginning, focus on relaxation and breathwork
• In the beginning, just work on ballooning, and if feeling relaxed, then transition to edging
• Once I can do 20 minutes straight without hitting PONR with moderate grip, and natural pace, reassess my abilities and consider switching to STU

Bonus: Don’t stress out when things don’t go great in sex

• Remember it’s a process, the best thing I can do in the moment is to just relax and be as present in the moment as possible, no matter where I’m at in the bigger picture of changing my body and brain.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Edging Update 02.06.19

Edged for the majority of an hour with very few IKs. That was really the only goal, control the IKs. Secondary was keep good pelvic posture, breath correctly, and notice where the areas are that push my arousal up so I can work on getting those under control.

[TimeALWAYStells Member Find all posts View Profile Close TimeALWAYStells]

Just wanted to say good luck on your journey. I enjoy reading your log because it's well written, organized, and helps me relate. I'm going down the same path doing a similar routine and although it's early I have some hope that there's at least light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up the good work consistently and just take things one day at a time.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Just wanted to say good luck on your journey. I enjoy reading your log because it's well written, organized, and helps me relate. I'm going down the same path doing a similar routine and although it's early I have some hope that there's at least light at the end of the tunnel. Keep up the good work consistently and just take things one day at a time.

Thanks man, like I said on your thread, it's good knowing there's other guys out there working hard at this too.

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Just wanted to post this picture here as a reminder to myself and others that results just won't happen overnight 99.99% of the time. I'm abandoning the "microwave" way of thinking about this problem and fully committed to the long road.

show-up-every-day-two-years.jpg

[AManWithAPlan2 Member Find all posts View Profile Close AManWithAPlan2]

Week 4 Update:

Week 4.jpg

Gotta do better in Week 5.

5 minute later update: I've always had a weird hang up about failing. I've always been afraid of trying really hard and then failing at whatever it was. I did it in school, done it in relationships, I've done it and now currently am doing it in my career, and I'm sure part of my avoidance of doing a better job on my training these past two weeks is that I'm afraid of how bad it will feel if I give this 100% and it doesn't work. I gotta push through that fear this week and just stop worrying about the results, and instead just focus on taking the actions.

[WillGetBetter Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close WillGetBetter]

Week 4 Update:

[ATTACH]99866[/ATTACH]

Gotta do better in Week 5.

5 minute later update: I've always had a weird hang up about failing. I've always been afraid of trying really hard and then failing at whatever it was. I did it in school, done it in relationships, I've done it and now currently am doing it in my career, and I'm sure part of my avoidance of doing a better job on my training these past two weeks is that I'm afraid of how bad it will feel if I give this 100% and it doesn't work. I gotta push through that fear this week and just stop worrying about the results, and instead just focus on taking the actions.

Seems like that’s been affecting you for a while. Any thoughts on talking with a therapist about it? I did that in grad school and learned some really good coping mechanisms that I still go to when I’m fearing failure now. But, I have to say that my natural go to thing when I fear failure is to get pissed off and really put everything I have into it. It’s not always the healthiest approach and not sustainable- but sometimes it does pay off.

It would be easy for me to tell you to go for it and not care what happens. But, that doesn’t sound like something that works for you. Not like you need something else to work on, but maybe you should try to fix the fear of failure avoidance issue. I could then pay off by helping you fix your preE.

Looking at your training spreadsheet. I’d say ramp that edging up to every day. I think it will pay off for you. Good luck, man.