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A sucess story: My road to overcoming premature ejaculation
Hello, ZeNigmar here, you may or may not know me from posts in the past.
I have been very actively researching in this topic aswell as i was suffering from it.
To provide you with a light at the end of the tunnel, or at least a perspective, i want to tell you guys my story as i would say this condition can definitely impact your life in alot of ways and can also be a havoc to ones self esteem.
My past:
Roughly four years ago i have been starting to become sexually active. I am average when it comes to getting females to get attracted to me, though i am more rational, less delusional and more active in sports than the average person.
When i had sex with my past girlfriend, which was the girl who took my virginity, i suffered from symptoms of premature ejaculation.
The intensity varied a bit. Sometimes not being able to thrust more than 5-10 times until my body forced me to an orgasm. I was in my late teens.
To fight this problem, back in the time, i tried to shower before sex, secretly masturbating to go for a lengthier second round.. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not as it was hard for me to relax and get a second reaction off the spot. If i waited too long, i was early again - if i didnt wait enough, i could not get hard.
Alcohol could also solve this problem temporarily for me by numbing my sensitive spots.
This relationship held for approximately one year. When i brought up the topic with my ex, she used to be very non-talkative. Judging from todays perspective she brought even more pressure on me by not talking about it.
A few months before and after we broke up, i was at my lowest spot. My ex has mentally torn me apart by gaslighting me into thinking she is a holy person, and everything that she does is pure. This was not in line with reality which gave my mind pure cognitive dissonance and has drifted me into a very depressive spot in life.
After months of mental torture around the relationship - all the fake "lets be friends" blabla and alot of other very distressing occasions i finally decided to stop torturing myself. I broke off all contact, meanwhile i slowly became more active on this forum and i extensively researched causes of premature ejaculation.
Whoever did read my log knows, that i did read alot of scientific papers and dove into neuroscience behind the chemical cocktail that leads to the male orgasm.
In the next section, i'll dive into the measurements i have taken in the year to come to find myself and my connection to my body.
My measurements:
What worked of these you ask? Well - i cant tell for sure. I think the best way to describe this journey is by describing my encounters.
First one after breakup:
Premature Ejaculation was at the center of my mind before meeting up (one night stand). With diets and stretching not showing any results aswell as the behavioral therapy did not help (other than creating awareness on why this happens and where i cant be touched without being triggered) i tried a topical cream.
Its name was Pau Yuen Tong. It was a creme that was a mix of some Ginseng stuff and nelc and other stuff. I applied around the edges of glans. After 1,5 hours - just like this - i numbed my trigger spots. I was having sex with that girl around 1 hour or so before i gave up to cum. VERY STRANGE FEELING. Being used to the other side, i can see how frustrating both sides can be. I just overdid the cream out of fear. I had sex with the same girl in the morning without any assistance and i came relatively early but not horrible early. This night has shown me that i can find the middle ground, it has shown me that i can enjoy sex and if i needed assistance, then i would have it with the topical cream.
Needless to say - this boosted my confidence alot. I began to work on that aspect of my life very much by digging into philosophy.
Second one:
My body was relatively shaped because i was close to a martial arts competition and my i mentally had a firm and disciplined grip on myself. Despite that, before meeting with the soon to come fwb, i was having that thing in the back of my mind. At the first encounter, i applied the cream and it worked as i expected. I always let her sleep in my bed till next morning and we had sex again, which was without assistance. Sometimes i came quite early, sometimes i didn't.
I had sex with that girl around 10 times, mostly over weekends. Sometimes i replaced the cream with 3/4 of a bottle of wine. But i never did something like this in the morning. As you may have noticed - sex in the morning has become my experimental field. Girls got to know me as a stallion in the night before so they would shrug it off, even if you came early. I noticed that a lot of mental pressure fell off like that.
I knew i would have to work on my mentality a bit more, though i already had a quite good self esteem at this point.
Third one:
The third one is the special one. She is - to this day - my girlfriend. I started out to use my cream / alc in the evening strategy and have sex again in the morning without any additionals. It worked out good for a time, maybe 2 months or so. The girl really likes me, is an absolut bomb in bed, loves to give oral aswell, and is also having the ability to have both pectoral and clitoral orgasms. Soon I had a skin irritation on my glans. I think i temporarily damaged the skin on my glans by taking this a bit too agressive cream (destroyed the ph value). Thats when i needed to know the cream has to stop.
I took way and way less off the cream and while i had sex, i could already last a few minutes - 4-10.. Sometimes i also came early. Eventually i ditched the cream - together with my mental problems.
Nowadays i can last 10-45 minutes in the morning and 3-15 in the evening. I think it has to doo with the neuroreceptors and the relaxation of my muscles.
I can make her orgasm by thrusting, which was my goal ultimately.
What helped you ask?
TAKE THE LONG ROUTE - While i can totally recommend using things like topicals (if your body is reacting to it well) i would not think of it as a solution to your problem. You also have to look out, that the given topical does not numb your partner (no fun for anybody).
Work on your self esteem ! Dont let women and others circle it on a part of your sexuality
Find your body ! Find your trigger spots - acknowledge them - experiment around it - experiment with daytimes - do balooning and eding - Use the scale from one to ten on how close you are to comming to create awareness for yourself around your sexuality!
Find yourself! Get rid of people mentally torturing you, not only around preE but concerning everything that stresses your life.
FOR ME - I have no one trick pony, i am not perfect, but i managed to bring my symptoms totally under control with my current girlfriend which is all that i wanted and all that i needed.
I think you can do it too!
Cheers
ZeNigmar
I have been very actively researching in this topic aswell as i was suffering from it.
To provide you with a light at the end of the tunnel, or at least a perspective, i want to tell you guys my story as i would say this condition can definitely impact your life in alot of ways and can also be a havoc to ones self esteem.
My past:
Roughly four years ago i have been starting to become sexually active. I am average when it comes to getting females to get attracted to me, though i am more rational, less delusional and more active in sports than the average person.
When i had sex with my past girlfriend, which was the girl who took my virginity, i suffered from symptoms of premature ejaculation.
The intensity varied a bit. Sometimes not being able to thrust more than 5-10 times until my body forced me to an orgasm. I was in my late teens.
To fight this problem, back in the time, i tried to shower before sex, secretly masturbating to go for a lengthier second round.. Sometimes it worked, sometimes it did not as it was hard for me to relax and get a second reaction off the spot. If i waited too long, i was early again - if i didnt wait enough, i could not get hard.
Alcohol could also solve this problem temporarily for me by numbing my sensitive spots.
This relationship held for approximately one year. When i brought up the topic with my ex, she used to be very non-talkative. Judging from todays perspective she brought even more pressure on me by not talking about it.
A few months before and after we broke up, i was at my lowest spot. My ex has mentally torn me apart by gaslighting me into thinking she is a holy person, and everything that she does is pure. This was not in line with reality which gave my mind pure cognitive dissonance and has drifted me into a very depressive spot in life.
After months of mental torture around the relationship - all the fake "lets be friends" blabla and alot of other very distressing occasions i finally decided to stop torturing myself. I broke off all contact, meanwhile i slowly became more active on this forum and i extensively researched causes of premature ejaculation.
Whoever did read my log knows, that i did read alot of scientific papers and dove into neuroscience behind the chemical cocktail that leads to the male orgasm.
In the next section, i'll dive into the measurements i have taken in the year to come to find myself and my connection to my body.
My measurements:
- i have started to do martial arts (boxing, taekwondo), which required me to do extensive stretching regularly
- i have tried several extreme diet form experiments (examples: eating three garlic gloves and half an onion a day, magnesium and zinc, anti-inflammatory diets..)
- I tried behavioral therapy on myself while masturbating (edging, balooning, no porn, no masturbation)
- I tried to desensitive my glans by overstimulation
- I touched my penis in awareness to find my trigger spots
- i tried topical cremes
- i tried substances like alcohol and weed
- i worked on my self esteem
- i worked on my perception of life
- i worked on my appearance, mentally, physically
- I had sex with three girls to become more experienced
What worked of these you ask? Well - i cant tell for sure. I think the best way to describe this journey is by describing my encounters.
First one after breakup:
Premature Ejaculation was at the center of my mind before meeting up (one night stand). With diets and stretching not showing any results aswell as the behavioral therapy did not help (other than creating awareness on why this happens and where i cant be touched without being triggered) i tried a topical cream.
Its name was Pau Yuen Tong. It was a creme that was a mix of some Ginseng stuff and nelc and other stuff. I applied around the edges of glans. After 1,5 hours - just like this - i numbed my trigger spots. I was having sex with that girl around 1 hour or so before i gave up to cum. VERY STRANGE FEELING. Being used to the other side, i can see how frustrating both sides can be. I just overdid the cream out of fear. I had sex with the same girl in the morning without any assistance and i came relatively early but not horrible early. This night has shown me that i can find the middle ground, it has shown me that i can enjoy sex and if i needed assistance, then i would have it with the topical cream.
Needless to say - this boosted my confidence alot. I began to work on that aspect of my life very much by digging into philosophy.
Second one:
My body was relatively shaped because i was close to a martial arts competition and my i mentally had a firm and disciplined grip on myself. Despite that, before meeting with the soon to come fwb, i was having that thing in the back of my mind. At the first encounter, i applied the cream and it worked as i expected. I always let her sleep in my bed till next morning and we had sex again, which was without assistance. Sometimes i came quite early, sometimes i didn't.
I had sex with that girl around 10 times, mostly over weekends. Sometimes i replaced the cream with 3/4 of a bottle of wine. But i never did something like this in the morning. As you may have noticed - sex in the morning has become my experimental field. Girls got to know me as a stallion in the night before so they would shrug it off, even if you came early. I noticed that a lot of mental pressure fell off like that.
I knew i would have to work on my mentality a bit more, though i already had a quite good self esteem at this point.
Third one:
The third one is the special one. She is - to this day - my girlfriend. I started out to use my cream / alc in the evening strategy and have sex again in the morning without any additionals. It worked out good for a time, maybe 2 months or so. The girl really likes me, is an absolut bomb in bed, loves to give oral aswell, and is also having the ability to have both pectoral and clitoral orgasms. Soon I had a skin irritation on my glans. I think i temporarily damaged the skin on my glans by taking this a bit too agressive cream (destroyed the ph value). Thats when i needed to know the cream has to stop.
I took way and way less off the cream and while i had sex, i could already last a few minutes - 4-10.. Sometimes i also came early. Eventually i ditched the cream - together with my mental problems.
Nowadays i can last 10-45 minutes in the morning and 3-15 in the evening. I think it has to doo with the neuroreceptors and the relaxation of my muscles.
I can make her orgasm by thrusting, which was my goal ultimately.
What helped you ask?
TAKE THE LONG ROUTE - While i can totally recommend using things like topicals (if your body is reacting to it well) i would not think of it as a solution to your problem. You also have to look out, that the given topical does not numb your partner (no fun for anybody).
Work on your self esteem ! Dont let women and others circle it on a part of your sexuality
Find your body ! Find your trigger spots - acknowledge them - experiment around it - experiment with daytimes - do balooning and eding - Use the scale from one to ten on how close you are to comming to create awareness for yourself around your sexuality!
Find yourself! Get rid of people mentally torturing you, not only around preE but concerning everything that stresses your life.
FOR ME - I have no one trick pony, i am not perfect, but i managed to bring my symptoms totally under control with my current girlfriend which is all that i wanted and all that i needed.
I think you can do it too!
Cheers
ZeNigmar
Admin of the Month Mar 2015
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