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Hello everyone.
Been a lurker here for a long while (probably 2015 or so) but I finally have motivation and reason to actually address my long standing PremE. Initially I wrote a massive post that encapsulates all and any information about my condition, story, observations and frustrations but that turned out to be 1500 word ramble so I'll just start with the most pressing issue and just a little background and then I can go on to elaborate with details later.
Background
I started masturbating quite early (9-10 years old) and I remember it was almost like a challenge for me to orgasm as fast as possible with 1000 strokes/second and flexing who knows what kegels and muscles on my body. I also liked to go multiple rounds as fast as possible (which might explain why now as an adult I don’t last that much longer on 2<sup>nd</sup> rounds).Additionally, I liked the feeling of something pressing on my shaft while erect (e.g lying stomach-down on my bed and flexing my pelvic floor muscles)…which might explain why I get very strong IK’s when grinding with my gf or in positions like cowgirl where there’s a lot of pressure on the shaft. Lastly, I had phimosis up until the age of ~13 and it took another year or two to be able to fully and comfortably peel back my foreskin (probably resulting in an oversensitive glans).
Current issue
I’ve been reading the “big” threads (Minuteman’s Kegel explanations and DO guide as well as BiggyD’s arousal guide and many others) and have implemented a kegel routine alongside edging with my fleshlight. The edging is done following BiggyD’s scheme and Minuteman’s 3 day routine. I’ve seen some improvements in edging duration and endurance. Also, for the past 4-5 months or so I’ve been using the shower’s adjustable head to blast a strong stream on my glans in an attempt to desensitize it (and lower the leg muscle spasm effect I get from strong stimulation) and also to loosen the frenulum and make peeling back the skin easier – both seem to work. I’m also doing some yoga to loosen up my super stiff lower-body and pelvic floor. Also, although I’m trying to keep patient and progress slowly I have tried kegel towel raises with good success (I wanted to see if I’m right in assuming I have an overly-developed pelvic floor) and I have also managed to have a dry orgasm while masturbating with and without a fleshlight. HOWEVER... none of my progress while edging seems to transfer to actual sex. None. I might actually last even shorter now. I seem to have less IK’s (no AIK’s whatsoever) while edging with the fleshlight or my hand, but I get mad uncontrollable AIK’s with my gf even before engaging in sex. We are cuddling or gently grinding and I’m already throbbing and ready to bust. The IK’s are too strong to stop with reverse kegels so I’ve just been holding them for a few sec with the idea to make them “conscious” instead of involuntary. Also, I can’t seem to apply BiggyD’s arousal scale advice when I’m with her because I don’t feel that aroused even though I’m barely keeping my jizz inside me. It’s strange – I almost never really feel “aroused” cuz my libido and sex drive are naturally quite low – I don’t get this animal urge to fuck or anything…but I still bust super fast and can’t control my erection – it’s like my mind and my body are disconnected and operate on their own terms. On that note, I seem to get overexcited quite a lot while with her – holding hands, cuddling, kissing, touching – almost everything makes me go diamonds like a complete teenager. I was expecting this to slow down after a week or two but it’s still happening and I’m sure it contributes to the problem to some extent.
So, the question is that I’m seeing some tentative progress while edging by myself, but I see no progress whatsoever in the bedroom. Is that normal at least for a while? Do I just need to stick it out? Cuz I really feel the gap between masturbating and being with my girlfriend is so large that one can’t really affect the other – it’s like training to swim in the dead sea so you can go and compete in a pool of honey.
I've left out loads of details and observations about the state of my penis, body, tightness and others so I don't make this post too heavy, but I have everything written down so I can give whatever specifics if someone is interested. Cheers
Been a lurker here for a long while (probably 2015 or so) but I finally have motivation and reason to actually address my long standing PremE. Initially I wrote a massive post that encapsulates all and any information about my condition, story, observations and frustrations but that turned out to be 1500 word ramble so I'll just start with the most pressing issue and just a little background and then I can go on to elaborate with details later.
Background
I started masturbating quite early (9-10 years old) and I remember it was almost like a challenge for me to orgasm as fast as possible with 1000 strokes/second and flexing who knows what kegels and muscles on my body. I also liked to go multiple rounds as fast as possible (which might explain why now as an adult I don’t last that much longer on 2<sup>nd</sup> rounds).Additionally, I liked the feeling of something pressing on my shaft while erect (e.g lying stomach-down on my bed and flexing my pelvic floor muscles)…which might explain why I get very strong IK’s when grinding with my gf or in positions like cowgirl where there’s a lot of pressure on the shaft. Lastly, I had phimosis up until the age of ~13 and it took another year or two to be able to fully and comfortably peel back my foreskin (probably resulting in an oversensitive glans).
Current issue
I’ve been reading the “big” threads (Minuteman’s Kegel explanations and DO guide as well as BiggyD’s arousal guide and many others) and have implemented a kegel routine alongside edging with my fleshlight. The edging is done following BiggyD’s scheme and Minuteman’s 3 day routine. I’ve seen some improvements in edging duration and endurance. Also, for the past 4-5 months or so I’ve been using the shower’s adjustable head to blast a strong stream on my glans in an attempt to desensitize it (and lower the leg muscle spasm effect I get from strong stimulation) and also to loosen the frenulum and make peeling back the skin easier – both seem to work. I’m also doing some yoga to loosen up my super stiff lower-body and pelvic floor. Also, although I’m trying to keep patient and progress slowly I have tried kegel towel raises with good success (I wanted to see if I’m right in assuming I have an overly-developed pelvic floor) and I have also managed to have a dry orgasm while masturbating with and without a fleshlight. HOWEVER... none of my progress while edging seems to transfer to actual sex. None. I might actually last even shorter now. I seem to have less IK’s (no AIK’s whatsoever) while edging with the fleshlight or my hand, but I get mad uncontrollable AIK’s with my gf even before engaging in sex. We are cuddling or gently grinding and I’m already throbbing and ready to bust. The IK’s are too strong to stop with reverse kegels so I’ve just been holding them for a few sec with the idea to make them “conscious” instead of involuntary. Also, I can’t seem to apply BiggyD’s arousal scale advice when I’m with her because I don’t feel that aroused even though I’m barely keeping my jizz inside me. It’s strange – I almost never really feel “aroused” cuz my libido and sex drive are naturally quite low – I don’t get this animal urge to fuck or anything…but I still bust super fast and can’t control my erection – it’s like my mind and my body are disconnected and operate on their own terms. On that note, I seem to get overexcited quite a lot while with her – holding hands, cuddling, kissing, touching – almost everything makes me go diamonds like a complete teenager. I was expecting this to slow down after a week or two but it’s still happening and I’m sure it contributes to the problem to some extent.
So, the question is that I’m seeing some tentative progress while edging by myself, but I see no progress whatsoever in the bedroom. Is that normal at least for a while? Do I just need to stick it out? Cuz I really feel the gap between masturbating and being with my girlfriend is so large that one can’t really affect the other – it’s like training to swim in the dead sea so you can go and compete in a pool of honey.
I've left out loads of details and observations about the state of my penis, body, tightness and others so I don't make this post too heavy, but I have everything written down so I can give whatever specifics if someone is interested. Cheers
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