Confused

[Leo82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Leo82]

Hi,
As a fellow P.E sufferer you can all imagine how much research I have done online and how many different methods I have come across, not to mention how many contradictions and absolute bull crap I have had to endure before finally coming across this forum. Hopefully, this is the start of recovery so to speak.
I am a minute man, less so if I thrust quicker.
I know porn is not to base reality on.
I'm no expert but I think maybe my problem might be physical rather than psychological, out of the two reasons that pop up most often.
I base this assumption on the fact that if I wear a condom I can last longer than without. If I use delay spray I can last as long as I want! I guess this issue is my penis being over sensitive? Yes, I can keep on using delay spray but I don't want to last a long time, I just want to last a normal amount of time naturally.
I have done the kegals and reverse kegals. I love the feel of kegels. I feel bigger, harder and more in control, even though I'm not. Reverse kegals make me less hard and to be honest I'm not sure what is actually best for premature ejaculation? What is best for an over sensitive penis? So many questions with so many different answers I'm confused to know where to actually begin?
Any advice would be much appreciated.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Leo, welcome aboard, glad to have you here. Just know that your unit is working exactly as planned. We were designed to get in, and get the job done quickly. So nothing wrong with the way you are wired. What you need to practice is stamina training. Learning what makes you go over the PONR (point of no return). Edging, which is different from masturbating, is stimulating yourself for the purpose of training. It involves getting yourself to that PONR and starving it, not letting it happen, yet still stimulating yourself. Ride that plateau as long as you can without going. Its going to take some time. You WILL fail multiple times during your training, but each time, push a little harder. Eventually, you will start to find trigger points, and know to slow down. Eventually, you will be able to control those triggers. IT WILL TAKE TIME, so don't get discouraged. Try and fail, try and fail and eventually you will try and not fail as fast, then you will try and succeed. It is then that you get to start all over and do the same thing with a live partner. No quick fixes because a live partner is a whole bunch of new sensations to control. But if you succeed in self stamina training, then you already have the game plan on how to win with a live partner.

Start a blog in the progress forum and let others know how you are progressing. The family here will offer encouragement and tips as needed. Feel at home here, we all were once in the same boat.

Best to you- ZZ

[tobe5minman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close tobe5minman]

Hi Leo, Welcome to the forum!

I'm the same way, wearing a condom makes me last longer and delay spray can make me last forever. Recommend you focus on physical aspects to keep it simple. You'll still get positive mental control side effects by just doing physical training.

This is my opinion with training:
Reverse Kegels (RK) is the most important thing. I've noticed that what makes me cum quickly is involuntary kegels (IK) during stimulation. doing RK is the only way to control them. Therefore during masturbation workout sessions, I aim to increase stimulation while holding a slight RK the hole time in order to prevent an IK. My goal has been to train my mind and muscles to be able to hold a RK, which will in turn make me last longer. NOTE: even with RKs, i still get IKs, but they're not the type of IK that pushes cum from the testes out.

If I started stimulating my penis too much, I'd cum to quickly. Therefore I had to start at a very low stimulation level in order to build up the RK muscle and memory.

Stimulation levels I've been masturbating with from less to more:

1. dry squeeze only
2. dry head squeeze only (like a bicycle horn) with 3 fingers
3. dry stroking
4. 1-3 above with lotion
5. 1-3 above with lube
6. ribbed masturbation sleeve - hold dick inside
7. ribbed masturbation sleeve - stroking head only (this is as far as I am)
8. (think you get the idea)

Duration: I only plan for 5 minute sessions. Before I used to plan for 20, but i couldn't control my urges and when i got close to the point of no return (PONR), i'd keep stroking and ruin the session. If I get to 5 min and still feeling strong, I'll continue.

Tracking: I keep a pos- it for every month tracking how many sessions I've done with cumming and not cumming. This keeps me motivated to have many sessions where I don't cum.

Conclusion: Do whatever you need to train a RK that will control the IKs that pump cum from your testes out. Once you feel cum from your testicles being pumped out, you've likely lost as now it's enevitable for the cum to come out your penis*

* ignore advanced techniques like dry orgasm; which i personally don't even believe in

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Welvome to the site . Have you read from the stickies in the pre e forum yet.?

[Leo82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Leo82]

Thanks for the replies, there is definitely alot of things to take on board. I have looked at the stickies and see a wealth of information. As a beginner on this journey do I (a) aim to train to last as long as possible before reaching ponr or (b) get to ponr and then ride through it to last longer without shooting my load as stated above. If I ride through it will the feeling die down and then come back after some time to which I would ride through again until I decide to shoot? It's alot to take in but I want to start off with good habits to build up a solid foundation.

[tobe5minman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close tobe5minman]

Recommend option (a) - train to last as long as possible before reaching ponr.

option (b) doesn't make sense to me as i don't know what you mean by "ride through the PONR". Point of no return (PONR) by definition means you're going to cum, that's why there is "no return".

[Leo82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Leo82]

tobe5minman

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tobe5minman I meant to ride out the plateau phase and see how long before hitting the ponr, then learn to push the ponr back through training.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Leo - I learned by trial and failure until success. But you don't just hit the PONR, but you consciously pay attention to what your body is doing. In other words, pretend you are in class and taking notes. Pay attention to what is going on. So you are not focused so much on what is stimulating you, but more on what is happening to you. You will start to notice patterns of what your body is doing. Then FOCUS on it and experiment with different ways to control it. Again, it is a process that will take time. Others have suggested Kegel and/or Reverse Kegel. For me it is making my pelvic floor go completely neutral. So you are not clenching or pushing your floor, but just letting is relax. I'm guessing that tensing your pelvic floor is what is pushing you over to the PONR. You are trying so hard not to cum that it makes you cum.

[Leo82 Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Leo82]

I suppose every body is different in the way it has been used and habits learned and stuck. I never took notice before, just basically got the job done. To be fair I don't really masterbate as I have sex enough to keep me satisfied. Thinking about it now this might be the problem. I'm going to experiment and hopefully learn new things, tips and tricks so to speak.