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Hi guys, first time poster, figured I'd come (no pun intended!) straight here because Premature Ejaculation is what brought me here in the first place, and boy am I glad I found it. I just wanted to share my story and advice with you all and hope that others can use some of it to help them too.
When I was a young teenager, stamina in the bedroom was never an issue, almost like being on a switch. Also, like 90% of sexually active males (and the 10% who lie!) I masturbate regularly. Over the last couple of years, Premature Ejaculation has become worse and worse, to the point where I had to do something about it, hence why I'm so glad I found these forums. You will read all kinds of crap online, and how there are magic pills out there that will help you stay rock hard for as long as you like. I'm not commenting either way, other than to say that if it sounds too good to be true... Sure, medicines may have some benefits, but hydration, a good diet and regular exercise is far more important. Just understand this - these forums are full of real people, with real issues/goals and real stories.
The first thing I learned from these forums was the concept of "Kegel" exercises, and more importantly for people suffering from Premature Ejaculation, "Reverse Kegel" exercises. I knew of women undertaking Pelvic Floor exercises, but I had never associated them with men. There are some great threads and articles here on how to do these exercises so I won't go into too much detail, but...
- A "Kegel" uses the muscles to "stop the flow of pee mid-stream" or "twitch your cock". Using this technique will allow you to control the "unwanted" Kegel's you experience during sex/masturbation, and also help increase the strength of your orgasm.
- A "Reverse Kegel" uses the muscles to "force the pee out faster", or "bearing down to force out a fart or poop". Using this technique relaxes the muscles involved in ejaculation, and learning to control this is key to helping you last longer in the sack.
Understanding this alone helped me enormously. When masturbating, holding a "Kegel" brought me to the "Point of No Return" (PONR) very quickly, and that is all I had been doing all along; uncontrollably and UNKNOWINGLY holding a "Kegel" while masturbating to porn. No wonder it was over and done with so quickly, and no wonder it had led to Premature Ejaculation. Needless to say, I started a routine of Reverse Kegel and Kegel exercises in a ratio of 3:1, then 2:1, then 1:1 after 1 month and 2 months respectively, focusing on the reverse to start with then maintaining a balance. Like most people who suffer Premature Ejaculation, it turned out I had a weak muscles overall down there, but also the Kegel was stronger than the Reverse Kegel. Now I knew I had this imbalance, and more importantly what the muscles do, I moved onto edging.
Now, at this point I already knew what edging was, but I had never appreciated or done it. I'll repeat, the root cause of my problem was masturbating to porn and getting the job done far too quickly. My body had become conditioned, and it needed re-programming. Edging involves bringing yourself to the PONR, but stopping before you reach orgasm and ejaculate. Tough to do, right, 'cos orgasm feels so good!? Well, not now we know about Kegel and Reverse Kegel. While masturbating, if you force a Kegel you will probably feel yourself reaching the PONR faster than you would do otherwise. Just before PONR (only you can learn this from experience - don't get so close you blow anyway!), force a Reverse Kegel, temporarily stop the stimulation, and you should feel the desire to orgasm subside, allowing you to continue masturbating. Repeat this 3 or 4 times (or as much as you want!), and don't always bring yourself to orgasm at the end of your session - saving it for another day can really intensify it for you when you finally do let yourself blow, and it let's your body know that orgasm isn't the only conclusion. The more exercises you do to strengthen the Kegel muscles, the more control you will have over them and hence the more control you will have over when you choose to reach orgasm. Not only that, you should experience more intense orgasms too.
Like a lot of things in the human body, state of mind plays a HUGE role on influencing Premature Ejaculation. Now we know about Reverse Kegels and how they help relax the muscles, perhaps you can now understand why you are able to last a lot longer after drinking alcohol for example. You are naturally in a more relaxed state, and on top of that, much less anxious. Key to hammering the home final nail in the Premature Ejaculation coffin is learning how to keep yourself relaxed during sex. It sounds totally counter-intuitive, but really it's not. Rather than focus on what's going on "down there" in your own body, focus your attention to the person you are trying to pleasure and to what is happening elsewhere around your body. If you feel an unwanted Kegel and feel that you are getting closer to orgasm, slow down a bit and do a Reverse Kegel. This will have a compound effect on quenching the desire to orgasm, but also grow your self confidence in knowing that you actually CAN last longer.
In a nutshell, based on my experience and what I've read here:
Finally, these being "Penis Enhancement" forums, you will read a lot about increasing length, girth, dry orgasm (orgasm without ejaculating) and MMO (male multiple orgasm). Yes, the fact is, "Orgasm" and "Ejaculation" are actually different bodily responses, and you can teach yourself to experience one without the other. However, for the vast majority of males, they go hand-in-hand and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you do want to try for a dry orgasm, get yourself right at the PONR and force a long, hard Reverse Kegel to stop the flow. If timed right, you should experience orgasmic sensations (not necessarily as strong to start with) without ejaculating, or just a small amount leaking out. If you stay hard afterwards, well done, you just did a dry orgasm. If you start to go floppy, the chances are you just directed the ejaculate into your bladder (retro-ejaculation). Bad luck, try again, and have fun doing so! You might, on your travels, "accidentally" experience DO or MMO, but if you suffer Premature Ejaculation, you want to get that under control first, then you can have fun trying out the other stuff if you feel like it.
Thanks for reading, and good luck with your own routine!
When I was a young teenager, stamina in the bedroom was never an issue, almost like being on a switch. Also, like 90% of sexually active males (and the 10% who lie!) I masturbate regularly. Over the last couple of years, Premature Ejaculation has become worse and worse, to the point where I had to do something about it, hence why I'm so glad I found these forums. You will read all kinds of crap online, and how there are magic pills out there that will help you stay rock hard for as long as you like. I'm not commenting either way, other than to say that if it sounds too good to be true... Sure, medicines may have some benefits, but hydration, a good diet and regular exercise is far more important. Just understand this - these forums are full of real people, with real issues/goals and real stories.
The first thing I learned from these forums was the concept of "Kegel" exercises, and more importantly for people suffering from Premature Ejaculation, "Reverse Kegel" exercises. I knew of women undertaking Pelvic Floor exercises, but I had never associated them with men. There are some great threads and articles here on how to do these exercises so I won't go into too much detail, but...
- A "Kegel" uses the muscles to "stop the flow of pee mid-stream" or "twitch your cock". Using this technique will allow you to control the "unwanted" Kegel's you experience during sex/masturbation, and also help increase the strength of your orgasm.
- A "Reverse Kegel" uses the muscles to "force the pee out faster", or "bearing down to force out a fart or poop". Using this technique relaxes the muscles involved in ejaculation, and learning to control this is key to helping you last longer in the sack.
Understanding this alone helped me enormously. When masturbating, holding a "Kegel" brought me to the "Point of No Return" (PONR) very quickly, and that is all I had been doing all along; uncontrollably and UNKNOWINGLY holding a "Kegel" while masturbating to porn. No wonder it was over and done with so quickly, and no wonder it had led to Premature Ejaculation. Needless to say, I started a routine of Reverse Kegel and Kegel exercises in a ratio of 3:1, then 2:1, then 1:1 after 1 month and 2 months respectively, focusing on the reverse to start with then maintaining a balance. Like most people who suffer Premature Ejaculation, it turned out I had a weak muscles overall down there, but also the Kegel was stronger than the Reverse Kegel. Now I knew I had this imbalance, and more importantly what the muscles do, I moved onto edging.
Now, at this point I already knew what edging was, but I had never appreciated or done it. I'll repeat, the root cause of my problem was masturbating to porn and getting the job done far too quickly. My body had become conditioned, and it needed re-programming. Edging involves bringing yourself to the PONR, but stopping before you reach orgasm and ejaculate. Tough to do, right, 'cos orgasm feels so good!? Well, not now we know about Kegel and Reverse Kegel. While masturbating, if you force a Kegel you will probably feel yourself reaching the PONR faster than you would do otherwise. Just before PONR (only you can learn this from experience - don't get so close you blow anyway!), force a Reverse Kegel, temporarily stop the stimulation, and you should feel the desire to orgasm subside, allowing you to continue masturbating. Repeat this 3 or 4 times (or as much as you want!), and don't always bring yourself to orgasm at the end of your session - saving it for another day can really intensify it for you when you finally do let yourself blow, and it let's your body know that orgasm isn't the only conclusion. The more exercises you do to strengthen the Kegel muscles, the more control you will have over them and hence the more control you will have over when you choose to reach orgasm. Not only that, you should experience more intense orgasms too.
Like a lot of things in the human body, state of mind plays a HUGE role on influencing Premature Ejaculation. Now we know about Reverse Kegels and how they help relax the muscles, perhaps you can now understand why you are able to last a lot longer after drinking alcohol for example. You are naturally in a more relaxed state, and on top of that, much less anxious. Key to hammering the home final nail in the Premature Ejaculation coffin is learning how to keep yourself relaxed during sex. It sounds totally counter-intuitive, but really it's not. Rather than focus on what's going on "down there" in your own body, focus your attention to the person you are trying to pleasure and to what is happening elsewhere around your body. If you feel an unwanted Kegel and feel that you are getting closer to orgasm, slow down a bit and do a Reverse Kegel. This will have a compound effect on quenching the desire to orgasm, but also grow your self confidence in knowing that you actually CAN last longer.
In a nutshell, based on my experience and what I've read here:
- Do Kegel and Reverse Kegel exercises regularly, at least 3 times a week (they benefit us males anyway)
- Reduce the porn when masturbating (some porn is fine, and clearly pleasurable)
- When you do masturbate, remember the goal is to have an extended, enjoyable session. "out of session" quickies and blow jobs are fine, but too many of those quick sessions and you run the risk of slipping back into old habits.
- Learn to understand the signals your body is giving you, and how you can use your new-found muscles to help control them
- Be positive. Before and during sex, tell yourself that you can go as long as you want, and the chances are that this alone will help.
- Relax. Breathing deeply and slowly while using Kegels and Reverse Kegels will only further serve to enhance your stamina.
Finally, these being "Penis Enhancement" forums, you will read a lot about increasing length, girth, dry orgasm (orgasm without ejaculating) and MMO (male multiple orgasm). Yes, the fact is, "Orgasm" and "Ejaculation" are actually different bodily responses, and you can teach yourself to experience one without the other. However, for the vast majority of males, they go hand-in-hand and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you do want to try for a dry orgasm, get yourself right at the PONR and force a long, hard Reverse Kegel to stop the flow. If timed right, you should experience orgasmic sensations (not necessarily as strong to start with) without ejaculating, or just a small amount leaking out. If you stay hard afterwards, well done, you just did a dry orgasm. If you start to go floppy, the chances are you just directed the ejaculate into your bladder (retro-ejaculation). Bad luck, try again, and have fun doing so! You might, on your travels, "accidentally" experience DO or MMO, but if you suffer Premature Ejaculation, you want to get that under control first, then you can have fun trying out the other stuff if you feel like it.
Thanks for reading, and good luck with your own routine!