Newbie Question

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

Ok so I've finally decided to try and get rid of this Prem. Ej. that i've had for the last two years. This wasn't always the case as I had a good sex life before that I am 23 now. I think its a mix of performance anxiety and bad masturbation habits from what i have read.

I've started to do lots of reverse kegels and only long hold regular kegels, i am trying to be some where around 70/30 maybe even 80/20 for the first month. As I know i have a hyperactive pc muscle thanks to what i have read in this forum.

I will be doing that along with edging and ballooning sessions that last a minimum of 30 minutes.

I will also after a month add a multivitamin, a b-6 complex, and magnesium, because i believe my performance anxiety comes from my general anxiety as I have it when presenting and even in sports and i've heard a mixture of these can help and either way its healthy, plus i did'nt want to go the pharmecutical route. I am waiting a month just too see if there is any difference while on and off of them.

Well to my question, when edging and ballooning i would like to only ejaculate every 3 or 4 sessions. But i was wondering if i have a DO (which i can achieve and which is why i only do long kegel holds) does that count as not ejaculating and does that defeat the purpose?

Also when you edge should you try your best to wait as long as possible to reach the PONR in order to actually edge?

Thank you all.

First Steps are being taken, trying to do this the right way, plus im thinking even if it doesnt work maybe my penis will grow a bit but then again thats the least of my worries size is not an issue at all this Prem Ej though could make or break my current situation.

[bigmoe5067 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigmoe5067]

i would just not ejaculate all but once a week.


one do regular kegels 3 days a week. its skeletal muscle, even if its strong you will over work it.

a tip also, try edging balloning in positions that bring about orgasm easier (more quickly build pelvic floor tension). i cum quicker on my knees (doggy) so when i edge i edge in doggy.

DONT forget to focus on your breathing and controlling arousal as well. only perfect practice makes perfect. edging is about mindfulness

also i cant stress this enough ....MEDITATE!

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

Well heres my dilemma with only ejaculating once a week, I have this girl that sorta kinda a girlfriend but were only able to see each other once a week usually because were both busy and live about 30 min away, so usually that one time we have sex, and so i feel as if i don't ejaculate at all i will explode when we do have sex. The good thing is i usually know when i will see her so i can prepare and maybe i will just ejaculate the day before.

Also having a DO does not count as ejaculation correct?

I will deffintely be adding edging on my knees to the routine!

I will also try to incorporate meditation is there a good book or site i could look at i feel as tho there is an art to that type of thing!

Can you overwork reverse kegels, bc i am pretty much obsessing over them right now.

Thanks again!

[bigmoe5067 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigmoe5067]

i think for basics of meditation, i would google transcendental meditation (simple mantra based meditation. a book that did me wonders and more of the approach i follow is "the yoga of breath, the step by step guide to pranyama" it is more on the breathing of traditional yoga, but it covers basic meditation very thoroughly

[bigmoe5067 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigmoe5067]

you cant really overwork reverse kegels if you go lightly and isolate. if you are doing a full pelvic floor hard reverse kegel (both bc and pc pushing out hard) then you can overtrain the muscles that actually stretch the BC muscle. you cant overstretch the BC, but you can over work the musles that do stretch it. i have done this. tight and sore pc muscles are not comfy either

[bigmoe5067 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close bigmoe5067]

dont worry so specifically on the exact number of time you ejaculate, just keep it limited once every 3-7 days (longer the better). if you need to ejaculate twice in 2 days for a girl so be it, but keep it to that. these kind of things are about making progress while still enjoying yourself. also though it wouldnt hurt to try and have sex with her twice, or 3 or 4 times. it may be what you need to be relaxed through a nice longer round

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

I def suggest you ejaculate the day you see her. Right before you hang out with her or sleep with her. You will be calm and not so horny.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

I also suggest you stop regular kegel exercises completely until you see good results from sex/edging/reverse kegels or if you need them for better EQ.
and stop watching porn completey and NEVER masturbate to it again.

[KingJR Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close KingJR]

I don't consider having a DO to count as ejaculating, since you're usually still able to continue and stay hard afterwards. So if you're able to stay hard afterwards, go on ahead.

As for how many times you can ejaculate, I'd say a minimum of 2x a week. But that's just based on the fact that men who do ejaculate at least 2x a week have a lesser risk of getting prostate cancer from what I've read/heard.

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

Definitely going to look further into the meditation and breath exercises, the yoga of breath might be something to look for sure, as I believe a lot of this is just mental for me as I’ve stated I have general anxiety and suffered from performance anxiety for a while now.
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Right now I’m really overhauling on the reverse kegels, but like I said I still want to keep regular kegels in there but only long hauls as they’ve really helped in achieving DO. I will definitely keep it to a 80/20 ratio though as I know reverse kegels are of heavy importance at the moment.
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I will try and only ejaculate the day before seeing her and the day I do see her, and that will add up to only ejaculating two days out of the week and hopefully I can try to have a session every night, thus only ejaculating 5 out of 7 days.
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I have stopped watching porn, and will continue not to, I am finding having a vivid imagination is better either way.
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Good to hear that a DO does not count as ejaculation as I want to make sure to practice this until I am able to do it while having sex.
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The good thing about edging is that when I do finally let my self “orgasm” its more intense so its harder to achieve DO this is important as the intensity it is able to mirror better the intensity of “orgasm” through sex.
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I would love to have sex with her everyday and probably could but the thing is I take a Viagra before sex in order to be able to continue even after my first orgasm/ejaculation. Otherwise that one or two minutes just won’t cut it, I KNOW I should not do this but I don’t see any other way for now. This girl is not my GF and she wants to be but I can’t make this commitment till I know I can last at least a steady 5 minutes on the first round. I know I’ll be butchered for this but it’s just what I have to do for now.
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Otherwise great input, my routine seems to be shaping up and I’m going at this full steam. I know it won’t be a short process but even if I can cut it down a little bit I will make sure to put in the work!

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

I'm sure this is written somewhere on here but I think a big help is that while edging and ballooning taking as much time to reach your first PONR is very important. I am going to try not to reach it for minimum 15 min if longer great but 15 min then 15 min edging and hopefully as I progress I can keep pushing that further and further to more of 20 to 10 ratio.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

That idea is good during sex too. You wanna take it easy and progressively when starting penetration.

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

Ok so a couple things. I had sex and train wreck as usual.

But there were some positives, i noticed a lot. I NEED to ease up on my arousal, while im kissing her and tearing her bra off and taking that thong off im like a 10 year seeing tits for the first time. Thats one of my biggest obstacles im thinking cuz by the time i get in her i already want to pop. Im going to work on this by being more aware and taking this slower during fore play.

Another thing is that i was able to achieve a dry orgasm during sex!! Once i felt i was at the PONR like 30seconds in lol i stopped left my penis inside but stopped all movement just kissed her neck and i did a super long regular kegel like my sex life depended on it which quite frankly it does for the time being. I was able to go for id say anywhere between 5 to 10 minutes after that cant really be sure. If i were going slower i could have gone longer but this girl likes to be pounded so if im not pounding i feel she gets bored.

I have figure out the routine I will be following for the most part:
Day 1- Ballooning/Edging without reaching PONR for first 15 minutes then Edging for 15 minutes after that. No Ejaculation at the end.
Day 2- Ballooning/Edging without reaching PONR for first 15 minutes then Edging for 15 minutes after that. Try for Dry Orgasm at end.
Day 3- Ballooning/Edging without reaching PONR for first 15 minutes then Edging for 15 minutes after that. No Ejaculation
Day 4- Ballooning/Edging without reaching PONR for first 20 minutes then Edging for 20 minutes after that. Ejaculate normally.
Day 5- Sex
Day 6- Rest
Day 7- Ballooning/Edging without reaching PONR for first 20 minutes then Edging for 10 minutes after that. Dry Orgasm.

Going all out on kegels. Stopping only if i feel soar and on my rest day.
80% reverse kegels and 20% regular kegels (only long holds)

[Luckyman Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Luckyman]

Today i was able to masturbate with out reaching PONR for 15 minutes then i went for another 15 but flirted with PONR too much i was holding a reverse kegel and i just felt the cum rising and slowly pour out, i didnt want it thats the good part but damn i hate that i ejaculated!!