Confused and desperate for help

[gottabeatPE Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gottabeatPE]

So after looking around the forums i have come to accurately confirm there is soooo much conflicting info out there. Such as "masturbate and ejaculate everyday" "no, only every three days" "don't ejaculate for 90days." There is much much more out there that i feel so overwhelmed and even more confused than when I started.

So.

I have PE. I've posted on here before but have never really followed through. But i'm here now. I can do this. I have recently lost 23lbs (and counting) and have realized that by setting my mind to something I can achieve it. I want... no I need to beat this. PreE has such a strangle hold on my life it's ridiculous. I am affraid of a real relationship because I don't want to fall for someone and then suck at sex and lose them. I only have sex with random people I pick up at bars because I know that if I don't last long it doesn't matter in the long run. I also drink a lot when I go out so if I do happen to pick up a woman I may be drunk enough to prolong my sexual experience. I feel as if a weight is constantly pushing down on me and suffocating me. I don't even want to be incredible at sex right now... just average.

I last about a minute tops during sex, and that's if I am lucky. I would give anything to last the average of around 5-7 minutes. I just want to be free of this burden once and for all. So my questions are as follows.

1) should I approach a routine with more RK than kegels? or should I use a balanced approach?
2) when i RK i have to tighten my abs to feel any movement down there. is this normal?
3) is there such thing as an 'edging routine' or is it a 'just go at it and see how far you can get'?
4) should my kegel/rk routine be everyday, twice a day, two on one off, etc.
5) what is a "tennis ball massage" and does it help preE?
6) should i talk to my doctor about having preE

thanks all,

-gottabeatPE

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Whenever you look up information on these threads, I suggest you ask the people saying there "information" if they have fixed themselves.
That being said, I would rather you take someone's advise who is completely fixed themselves over someone who is still experimenting.
I read all the time about new techniques and things from new members and still less recent members. I would take it with a grain of salt unless people are seeing results.
The sticky's have been proven true for the most part, so your primary information gathering should be from the stickys.


I will tell you from experience that more than likely most people have physical and mental issues with Pre-E.
What I tell you is my opinion, but it has worked for me, and I have come from 2 seconds of sex 3 years ago to being Pre-E free for about 10 months now.


1) If you have a very strong PC (caused by masturbating quickly and frequently with or without porn) then you should definitely go on a kegel routine that emphasizes RK. At least for 3-4 months. I had very bad imbalance and it took me 4 months to balance my pelvic floor.

2) Even after doing RK's for over a year I still clenched my abs, however over time I clenched less than whenever I first started. Power over the muscle will lessen ab use, but your abs use may never go away like me, and that's not a bad thing.

3) I would say that you would go at it the first few times and gage where you starting at. Then over time as you progress check and see if your stamina increases relative to where you start. After you can last 20min edging solo without any outside stimulation and just using your imagination, that is when I consider someone's pelvic floor being balanced. At that point I feel that edging is unnecessary if trying to improve stamina in bed.

4) My kegel routine was 2 on 1 off. I followed that for over a year. Worked perfectly and never hurt any muscles!

5) Although some people say "tennis ball massage" may work I never touched that and did fine. I am curious however, if someone has done this and seen significant results in bed. You should PM me.

6) You are free to talk to your doctor about anything. However, I seem to hear the same story about what doctor's say. Although I will not quote what I read I feel that doctors information available is consistent with the amount of information on askmen(dot)com...

and to answwer your first problem, I would suggest ejaculating every 3 days at first, then whenever your pelvic floor has been balanced start to edge and ejaculate less frequently.

[gottabeatPE Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close gottabeatPE]

I will tell you from experience that more than likely most people have physical and mental issues with Pre-E.
What I tell you is my opinion, but it has worked for me, and I have come from 2 seconds of sex 3 years ago to being Pre-E free for about 10 months now.

thanks so much drummer19, does it really take that long to beat? and i think im going to go along with ByggD's workout or something very similar. so far my routine is going to look as follows...

25 RK
15 K
25RK

doing this twice a day, two days on and one off. and then i plan on edging everyday and only ejaculating on the third. Although I want to try and increase each edge session by 30sec. a time i realize this maybe hard so my goal is make sure every edging session last longer than the one previous (ex. day 1 3min, day 2 3:30min day 3 3:32, etc.)

I'm open to criticism and help thanks all!

-gottabeatPE

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Go once a day with your routine. Always.
And can you explain the rutine more? I don't understand.

It took me 2 years, only because I spent a lot of time coming up with and proving/ disproving new techniques. There really was little to no concept of over-arousal back whenever I started.

Starting with ByggD's program sounds good.

[RestRDogs Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RestRDogs]

Im exactly in your situation, confused from the amount of information there is and dont what to do
Drummer what was your routine?

[draggin Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close draggin]

Jerk off and ejaculate as much and as often as you like. For me personally, I find PEing plenty of action for my penis, therefore, I pretty much never (or hardly ever) jerk-off anymore. Besides, the less you play with your dick, the better sex feels and harder your cock gets when your gf/wife plays with it ... and isn't that the real goal? Certainly is for me!

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Im exactly in your situation, confused from the amount of information there is and dont what to do
Drummer what was your routine?

My routine was very simple.

I would do a repeated kegel (hard and quick) for 1 min. Then I would do a long hold kegel for 1 min. Every week I would go up 1 min for each. So week 2:
I would do a repeated kegel (hard and quick) for 2 min. Then I would do a long hold kegel for 2 min.

If you can't hold for 1 min then try as many times as you can within the min.
I went up to 16 min of total time for the repeated and long hold kegels.

Also, I would do the SAME EXACT THING for reverse kegels, only I would add a few more seconds than I was doing for regular kegels.


Draggin, I don't suggest jerking off and ejaculating as often as you like if you have Pre-E. Not jerking off, like you said, will make you penis work better when the time is right.

[sameel Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sameel]

Drummer, your kegal routine is great. I have noticed that LONG HOLDS of rk, and regular kegal are the MAIN THING. I used to reach PONR within first minute during edging. It only improved when I started doing long holds (2-3 minutes). Now I will increase the hold time weekly like you did. Thanks for posting it here.

[motoxmuscle Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close motoxmuscle]

As you get a bit older Kegal's are essential. I'd love to say that the, every morning in the shower, was routine for me, but it's not. Don't neglect your T-levels, your fitness and your own need to just...get it out. Grandpa used to say "use it or lose it" I strongly believe that applies!

[lookingforhelplol Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close lookingforhelplol]

hey guys, i too foudn a lot of this information overwhelming and decided to follow your "1 minute" guide thing and am going to start today, in combination with Byggs guide as well and hoping to essentially continue practicing edging while balancing out my pelvic floor. Will Byggs guide naturally help balance out the floor? I also read somewhere on here that i should try to reverse kegel every now and then while inhaling during masturbation inorder to avoid some of the pressures that comes with masturbation that usually leads to the PONR.

Thanks a lot for all your help guys, i really appreciate it.

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

ByggDs Guide is an arousal control program. Pelvic balance isn't really part of it.

I have never done reverse kegals during edging or sex. I find that for me, if I have a decent erection already it will bring me closer to the PONR than further, maybe because it expands the penis... I am not sure. I have just never had to do that.

Maybe I will post the kegel routine in its own thread, so that people can have a SIMPLE kegel/ reverse kegel routine that has already worked in the past.

[searching Member Find all posts View Profile Close searching]

You do that

[sameel Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sameel]

Maybe I will post the kegel routine in its own thread, so that people can have a SIMPLE kegel/ reverse kegel routine that has already worked in the past.

Please post your routine. I am looking forward to it. Having a formal routine is requested from time to time. I think long holds of regular kegal and rk matter a lot.

[JamesMonroe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JamesMonroe]

Drummer, your kegal routine is great. I have noticed that LONG HOLDS of rk, and regular kegal are the MAIN THING. I used to reach PONR within first minute during edging. It only improved when I started doing long holds (2-3 minutes). Now I will increase the hold time weekly like you did. Thanks for posting it here.

Long strong holds followed by strong short bursts is how ingot very good at rev and reg kegels. At one point I could hold 1 strong reg kegel hold for about 8 minutes. But for people with prem ejac I def suggest stopping regular kegels completely and doing only reverse kegels. Only reason to Di reg kegels during prem ejac is if there are erection problems or you wanna go straight into DO/MMO.

[Drummer19 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drummer19]

Long strong holds followed by strong short bursts is how ingot very good at rev and reg kegels. At one point I could hold 1 strong reg kegel hold for about 8 minutes. But for people with prem ejac I def suggest stopping regular kegels completely and doing only reverse kegels. Only reason to Di reg kegels during prem ejac is if there are erection problems or you wanna go straight into DO/MMO.

I think we could actually simplify what Pre-E sufferers should do to this simple k/rk routine and completely cut out the other 90% of other information related (not including the very important facts and the like, mainly just other "routines" that further complicate something that could just be simple. More on this later if asked about it...)

You know, James, I was going to disagree about your statement with stopping regular kegels completely but the more I think about it, you have a good point.
For people with Pre-E doing a RK only routine, one would need to do that only for a little while before being balanced. However, I did a 40%K /60%RK routine and turned out just fine... Maybe doing RK only would balance out quicker? You have got me thinking James...

Another thing people, DO/MMO is not necessary! I spent over a year developing my pelvic floor and could probably move a table with my asshole pulling it. I still couldn't utilize it during sex. If you are interested in it, sure you can try it, but I ended up not needing it. So don't think you have to do it.