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Hello men
I have been lurking here for some time quietly fighting my own PE battle. Since this is essentially the closest thing I have to a support group I feel compelled to finally post and ask for some advice. I have a few things to put down regarding my problem so here goes.
I am 28 years old and I have been with my girlfriend for more than 6 years. She is also the only girl I have slept with. I love her obviously but I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in having sex with more women. This may or may not be detrimental to my sex life, however my problem started before that was really a huge issue. Likely I have just become sexually frustrated with our sex life and this is just my mind wandering. Initially, after a couple of weeks of finding my groove the sex was fucking amazing and we had a high degree of compatibility in bed. After about 3 months I noticed I was shooting earlier than I used to and within a year I had developed chronic PE and I ejaculate with seconds if I am exciting enough. She has been understanding about the whole thing, and occasionally we manage to have some decent sex with what we have available, but this is far from ideal.
I doubt I have ever been a marathon man before we had sex. I discovered masturbation when I was quite young and no doubt developed some bad habits in that area along with porn due to my late start with sex. Since the onset, I have become aware of my extreme involuntary kegels. Any touch or stimulation, washing in the shower, even while urinating. Since it was so long ago now and I didn't quite know what was happening at the time, I am unsure if I had them when we got together. Something in my says no, since I remember times where I would kegel during sex because it felt great. My girlfriend is able to climax pretty quickly and I definitely made an effort to cum with her.
So after doing some initial research, I started to apply a stop start method before I got to the PONR. This was really shitty in general because in addition to not being effective it wasn't fun for me nor her since I had to stop constantly, never being able to continue for more than 30 seconds at a stretch, max. After discovering this forum, I decided I had some pretty lousy muscle balance and have been attempting to correct this for the last year or more. I have been doing reverse kegels for the last year at least on and off during the day at work, and man they are not the easiest thing to do. I still have good days and bad days with control. I can also only do them while being vertical, ideally not moving.
While I am sure this is only part of my problem (I get around easily and am rock hard without really doing anything) I have not seen any results, basically. My spasms are stronger than ever while my control over the RKs has improved considerably. Like I said I even get them while taking a piss or washing in the shower. I am going to investigate some yoga poses to try and stretch things out down there but I'm stuck, basically.
Recently I have made some attempt to reduce my arousal levels before we have sex and twice this resulted in her cumming before me, and it was a huge confidence boost, but I am struggling to repeat it. This might be even harder now since I have decided to taper off my use of paroxetine after around 3 years on it. This often helped me last a little longer but I can't take it forever and need to see if my head is ok without it.
Bit of a read I know, but if you guys have any thoughts or advice, please help me, this is easily the worst thing that has happened to me. Sex has become so unsatisfying and I don't like the impact on our relationship even though she has been awesome about it.
Cheers
I have been lurking here for some time quietly fighting my own PE battle. Since this is essentially the closest thing I have to a support group I feel compelled to finally post and ask for some advice. I have a few things to put down regarding my problem so here goes.
I am 28 years old and I have been with my girlfriend for more than 6 years. She is also the only girl I have slept with. I love her obviously but I would be lying if I said I wasn't interested in having sex with more women. This may or may not be detrimental to my sex life, however my problem started before that was really a huge issue. Likely I have just become sexually frustrated with our sex life and this is just my mind wandering. Initially, after a couple of weeks of finding my groove the sex was fucking amazing and we had a high degree of compatibility in bed. After about 3 months I noticed I was shooting earlier than I used to and within a year I had developed chronic PE and I ejaculate with seconds if I am exciting enough. She has been understanding about the whole thing, and occasionally we manage to have some decent sex with what we have available, but this is far from ideal.
I doubt I have ever been a marathon man before we had sex. I discovered masturbation when I was quite young and no doubt developed some bad habits in that area along with porn due to my late start with sex. Since the onset, I have become aware of my extreme involuntary kegels. Any touch or stimulation, washing in the shower, even while urinating. Since it was so long ago now and I didn't quite know what was happening at the time, I am unsure if I had them when we got together. Something in my says no, since I remember times where I would kegel during sex because it felt great. My girlfriend is able to climax pretty quickly and I definitely made an effort to cum with her.
So after doing some initial research, I started to apply a stop start method before I got to the PONR. This was really shitty in general because in addition to not being effective it wasn't fun for me nor her since I had to stop constantly, never being able to continue for more than 30 seconds at a stretch, max. After discovering this forum, I decided I had some pretty lousy muscle balance and have been attempting to correct this for the last year or more. I have been doing reverse kegels for the last year at least on and off during the day at work, and man they are not the easiest thing to do. I still have good days and bad days with control. I can also only do them while being vertical, ideally not moving.
While I am sure this is only part of my problem (I get around easily and am rock hard without really doing anything) I have not seen any results, basically. My spasms are stronger than ever while my control over the RKs has improved considerably. Like I said I even get them while taking a piss or washing in the shower. I am going to investigate some yoga poses to try and stretch things out down there but I'm stuck, basically.
Recently I have made some attempt to reduce my arousal levels before we have sex and twice this resulted in her cumming before me, and it was a huge confidence boost, but I am struggling to repeat it. This might be even harder now since I have decided to taper off my use of paroxetine after around 3 years on it. This often helped me last a little longer but I can't take it forever and need to see if my head is ok without it.
Bit of a read I know, but if you guys have any thoughts or advice, please help me, this is easily the worst thing that has happened to me. Sex has become so unsatisfying and I don't like the impact on our relationship even though she has been awesome about it.
Cheers
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