So what the hell happened?

[enthusiasticbanana Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close enthusiasticbanana]

Hey guys,

I've lurked about for a while, read and researched a lot but now I've finally plucked up the courage to make an account. (as ridiculous as that sounds, I've pretty much been in denial about my Pre-E and the issues I'm facing for a long time.)

Anyway flash back 4 years ago. (I'm 22 now) I didn't have a problem with finishing early, without a condom I'd tense up and freak out at the idea of getting my girlfriend pregnant and wouldn't last as long as usual, but with a condom on we'd go for the whole of Nickleback's Dark horse album and half a repeat. (I was young, stupid and didnt know what good music was... don't judge me -.-') After that relationship ended i was pretty much single for over 2 years, and did what all single guys do masturbated... excessively, It's a habit that i haven't been able to kick (I'm trying) which I think may have led to porn addiction (You don't know its an addiction until you try to quit right? That's a story for another thread >.<)

All my life I've been overweight but during this relationship-free period i ballooned in size. Long story short I lost quite a bit of weight, my confidence sky rocketed, girls started to take an interest in me again and one thing starts to lead to another with a new girl on the scene and its all going great, we get to the good stuff and i can barely last 30 seconds. That fling probably lasted about the same length.

So here i am now, I'm 22, I'm in the best shape of my life (down over 30lbs and focusing on a well balanced healthy body), I'm focusing on my education and my career, I have an sexy, kind, smart and awesome girlfriend that i see once or twice a week (we're about 3 months in and she's from my hometown but its kinda long distance) She's the kind of girl I've always wanted but when we get to sex I cant control myself. I'm lucky if i last 3-4 mins of really slow thrusting. its frustrating.

I get incredibly strong involuntary kegels (tight pelvic floor??) not long after penetration, and even stimulation when masturbating. I've noticed its as if i hold a light kegel to get and maintain an erection and before i know it I'm spasming all over the place and struggling not to explode. I cant seem to calm down, physically and mentally. i feel like its almost over-stimulation?

I've read so much on these forums its almost like i tick boxes in every variation of Pre-E. I dont know where to start but after a little digging and research I found a routine that a member posted for someone (sorry i've totally lost the link so i cant cite the source!)

but this is it:

Try starting doing 10 min kegels (10 sec hold - 10 sec rest ) every third day and 10 min of reverse kegels ( 10 sec stretch -10 sec rest ) every day.

For example.
Monday. 10 min kegels and 10 min reverse kegels
Tuesday. 10 min reverse kegels
Wednesday. 10 min reverse kegels
Thursday. 10 min kegels and 10 min reverse kegels
Friday. 10 min reverse kegels
Saturday. 10 min reverse kegels
Sunday. Rest
Then when you become more balanced you can change it to kegels every other day or increase the time for kegels or the length of the hold.

From what i've said do you guys think that this routine will help? I'll appreciate any help/tips/advice that i can get my hands on. I don't want to say I'm desperate but in a time like this i think most men will be.

This was supposed to be a small introductory thread, but i just kinda vented. Sorry Folks! I dont expect a huge response to this thread as this is a first post and i bet you guys get this type of thread all the time. I like this forum and i want to stick around. Cheers!

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Welcome to the Gym enthusiasticbanana!


Bad masturbation habits and porn lead to premature ejaculation and performance anxiety among other side effects, please read the following threads for more information.

Adolescent Brain Meets Highspeed Internet Porn

Don't RELY on porn for an erection!

Greetings from the Fairy Pornmother

Therapeutic Help For Porn Addiction

The Detraining Effect: Understanding and Reversing Negative Habits To Improve Erection Quality and Sexual Confidence: Part 1


The great porn experiment! - Porn leads to ED.

Porn Detox - Join In

Porn causing my Premature Ejaculation?

The Porn Myth

Advantages of quitting porn

The AP90 (Anti-Porn)



I suggest you read the links below and follow a balanced regular and reverse kegels routine for optimum pelvic floor health and conditioning, and practice edging for more stamina and control.

Doing 10 minutes kegels in one set sounds a bit much in my opinion, also if you have a tense pelvic floor, then increase the amount of the reverse kegels after the regular ones.

Make sure that you have isolated the muscle and that you
are not tightening your abdomen, buttocks, or facial muscles during the
exercise. Keep every other muscle in your body as relaxed as you can, and
remember to breathe evenly as you squeeze and relax. It is easy to do this
exercise. Tightening and relaxing the PC muscle should feel good; you may
even feel slightly aroused, because when you exercise this muscle you are
temporarily increasing blood flow into the genital area.
It may take you a while to work up to twenty-five repetitions. If you are
older or overweight, you may want to start with only five or ten repetitions
and then gradually work your way up. Don’t do more than twenty-five repetitions
at a time, or your PC muscle may get sore. It will take about three
weeks for the muscle to get in shape, and then you really need to do this
exercise every day for the rest of your life. It is an important part of maintaining
your sexual fitness. Men whose PC muscle is in good shape can
enjoy better erections, more sensation in the genital area, better ejaculation
control, stronger orgasms, and even multiple orgasms.

Advanced routine:

After you have done the basic PC muscle exercises for three or four weeks,
try this more advanced version. In addition to twenty-five quick repetitions,
add ten slow repetitions. Try to gradually tense the muscle for a count of
five, hold it for a count of five, and then push it back out for a count of five.
The first time you try this exercise you may only be able to do it once or
twice. Eventually, you can work up to ten repetitions. Then try a version of
the exercise where you tighten the PC muscle for a count of ten, hold it for
a count of ten, and release it for a count of ten. It may take you days or
weeks to accomplish this. How much time it takes doesn’t matter; the
improved muscle tone does.

Kegels: Only One Piece of the Equation to Strengthen the Pelvic Floor

Yoga Poses for Pelvic Floor Stretching - relax your muscles

Confusion with Reverse Kegels

Pelvic Floor Balance


Minuteman's PremE FAQ

Arousal Techniques

ByggD's Guide to Controlling Your Ejaculation Response

What we know so far about PE, its causes and its treatment


Edging 101

Edging For Premature Ejaculation

Edging - penis exercise For Size and Hardness

Edging Toward MMO



For invaluable tips, information and advice, I highly recommend you to visit
http://www.thepassionatewife.com

And read through the following sub-forums as well, especially the stickies.

Relationship Forum

A Woman's Perspective

Premature Ejaculation Forum


Please keep in mind that sex is not a performance, but a mutually pleasurable experience between two partners, don't focus much on mechanics or this and that, just be in the moment, and focus on your and your partners pleasure, responses, and your technique, below, you will find information on how to become a better lover.


The Perils of Goal-Oriented Sex

Debunking A Popular Myth About the Female Orgasm


In case you haven't already done so, please READ THIS as well as the articles in the topmost blue navigation bar, and pay attention to safety instructions.

Most members here start with JP90, and gain fine from it, being an intense beginner's routine, you may want to consider starting slow and gradually increase workload, as you need to condition your penis first!


Helpful jelqing Information (updated)

Physiologic Indicators (PIs) to Help Penis Growth!


When done correctly, PE will greatly improve your penile health and increase your EQ, in addition to size gains, but you need to be consistent, patient and persistent, please do as much research as you can, ask questions, follow safety and exercise instructions carefully and remember that PE is a long term process, don't rush it up.



Good Luck!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

Welcome enthusiasticbanana!

Glad you decided to join and seek assistance. It's a great supportive community we have here, so no worries about the venting.

Take your time, read through the info our good MrB8 gave you, and if you are still unsure or need assistance, feel free to ask.

Good luck to you!

[enthusiasticbanana Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close enthusiasticbanana]

Wow! Cheers guys! i'll make sure to have a look at this. Its about time i got it sorted out

[enthusiasticbanana Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close enthusiasticbanana]

(Sorry if i'm not supposed to bump this thread)

Quick update: As instructed I've read most of the link's provided by MrB8.

I've edged twice today with baby oil, in a dark room with no porn, focusing on the feeling etc. first time for 33mins, second time for 26mins. The second time i lost control and ejaculated.

Some questions:

1) I suffer with really strong involuntary kegels even while not having sex or masturbating. sometimes it can just happen while im driving the car, or generally sitting down. Anyway i've been really struggling with reverse kegels, not just doing them but identifying them at all when I'm lying down or sitting I just can't do them but i can when urinating while standing up, though they are very light. is there any way to improve on this? so i can do them while sitting/lying

2) I have porn addiction (self diagnosed) both edging sessions, but mainly the first i lost my erection a couple of times. Like I said dark room, no porn. Is this my brain struggling to get aroused because the stimulus isn't there anymore? I sometimes get this when I'm having sex with my girlfriend (same deal?)

3) I keep trying to find a edging / reverse kegel routine but install health masturbation habits and a relaxed pelvic floor. Does anyone have any resources that will give me any routines? i.e Kegel reps and sets, days on and off. edging days on and off.


Cheers.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Try Minuteman's kegel /rk routine.
Edging towards mmo.