Boogy's PE Log - Introduction and Story :)

[Boogy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Boogy]

Boogy's PE Log

Hi guys, been lurking this forum for a while trying to gather some information on how I’m going to fix my PE. I feel my issue is mainly psychological (extreme over arousal) and chemical (serotonin and dopamine imbalance from mild depression, negative thought patterns, bad habits and overall a lifestyle that doesn’t contribute toward stable mental health) as opposed to physical, however there are physical components to my issue that can be fixed to help solve this complicated problem (in my opinion). I’m still learning how to understand what’s going on with my body so that I can pinpoint exactly what it is that is going on and target it directly so forgive me if I ask questions that you guys have answered many times over during your time on the forum.

Allow me to give a brief story to help you guys understand how I discovered my PE and maybe you can help me identify what happened along the way that has caused this. NOTE: When writing this story I didn’t realise how long it would turn out to be haha so only read if you have the time .

When I started getting into gaming and the internet I spent a lot of time at my desk living a sedentary lifestyle during most of my teens, playing games, browsing YouTube for hours and not going out much. Along with this came much time spent watching porn and whilst doing so I would rush masturbation and usually ejaculate in a minute or two, I also would fully extend my hips as if I was holding a thrust and I think I would squeeze my kegels alot. From analysing that period of my life I can assume that I probably caused some pelvic floor imbalance, tension in my hip region and quick ejaculation response all of which are physical components.

When I began going out and socialising a lot more I would get into confrontations with other boys older than me (the area of London I live in has a large amount of gang culture and along with that comes a pecking order which these fuckers tried to make me fall victim to, wasn’t going to happen) and as a result I felt like I would have to learn how to protect myself so I started working out. Soon after I noticed results I saw my confidence grow because no one else my age was doing this and I carried myself with swagger that attracted females later on (at the time I didn’t realise this is why they were attracted, I was so ignorant about female psychology and girls overall because I spent so much time in my bat cave).

Naturally, I began getting invited to parties when I was 17 and girls would hint at them liking me with body language, flirting and touching but because I wasn’t confident with them I didn’t really know what to do and so I didn’t really pursue any of them, weird right? Anyway, this one girl was really attracted to me and kept doing everything to gain my attention and I never really did, but one day we were all invited to her party and to cut a long story short she started kissing me when she had the opportunity. The next day when people asked me about whether or not I liked her I passed it off as a drunken party thing because to be honest I wasn’t really attracted to her. We stopped communicating a while after that and somehow a few months later we spoke again and it lead to sexting, which lead to her telling me to come over to her house and that she would give me a blowjob (she didn’t say it exactly in that way but I’m cutting the womanese shit).


PAY ATTENTION TO THIS BIT BECAUSE I BELIEVE IT MIGHT HINT AT SOMETHING CHEMICALLY RELATED:

I spent hours trying to get to her house and soon before I arrived my blackberry started to run out of battery so I started running to her house whilst trying to follow the map on my phone otherwise if it turnt off I would have been stuck in the middle of nowhere and wouldn’t have been able to charge the phone. I arrive at the house with the battery on 1% at around 5am… I left my house at like 12, it was an adventure alright. We went downstairs into one of the rooms in her house and I got undressed into my boxers, lay down with her and we started cuddling, she immediately went down on me and started giving me a blowjob. Because I knew that I came quick from masturbation I said to her “I probably won’t last very long so..” and she just carried on. I didn’t cum, but she got on top and tried to put it inside her and I freaked because I didn’t have a condom on so I quickly turned her over and said no, she showed me she had an implant; I googled to make sure it was effective before I stuck it in LOL! Anyway, I put it in and we just started having sex, and it was amazing, I lasted hours and I just felt like a natural, everything I was doing was perfect and she was so shocked that it was my first time, she kept asking me if I was a player or if I was lying about being a virgin but the honest truth is that I just felt like I knew what I was doing it and I was instantly hooked on the sex chemical from that point on. We stopped like 2 or 3 hours in because I couldn’t cum. We eventually started going out and had sex a few times after that, two times after that night I lasted for a long time but afterwards it started to go downhill.

Eventually the shorter I lasted in bed the more arguments would occur in our relationship which signalled to me that she obviously wanted to go out with me simply because of how good I was in bed and her physical attraction towards me, not for me as a person (I agreed to going out with her because she would always be nice to me and would cry that she wasn’t my girlfriend). However, I knew this was all bullshit when I got PE and she started becoming cold towards me. Eventually, she dumped me and did quite a lot of nasty shit to me during the break up late last year which set off a lot of depression and pessimism about life up till this point. And here I am, at the PEGym trying to figure out a way to solve this.

I want to say, you guys have given me hope in solving this thing and I will forever be in the debt to this community for all that you guys do as I couldn’t imagine spending the rest of my life with this problem trying to solve it on my own. Thank you.

Now, here are the notes that I have taken away from my story and the research I have found on the forums here:

• Before arriving at her house because I was running fast for a good 15 minute period I must have had a spike in serotonin, dopamine and GABA, resulting in a healthy chemical balance that benefited me when I got into bed with her around 3 minutes after I stopped running. (here I am building off what Spanky has mentioned about serotonin in some of his posts).
• When she gave me a blowjob my penis was really wet and she was aroused so when I put it inside her it didn’t have much friction which didn’t lead to much pressure on the glans resulting in involuntary kegels thus being able to last longer.
• She complimented me on being amazing in bed and kept saying how she loved my body which gave a huge confidence boost which I carried with me from that day on which lead to the next few times we had sex being longer sessions because I must not have had any worry about performing??

• We would only be able to have sex once or twice a week due to us both living with our parents and rarely having an opportunity to have sex because they would always come home soon after we arrived back from college. This lead to me and her being both very horny and aroused most of the time because we always wanted to fuck but the difference with me is that the sexual tension built up is a lot more considering I would work out and being 18 at the time I would have a large amount of testosterone and high libido (still do). This meant I was likely to cum quick from the arousal and bad masturbation habits.
• As I began cumming quickly I could tell she didn’t respect me as much despite her saying it isn’t a problem and would always make me cum quickly and would be frustrated if I tried to figure out a way to last longer or went slower (I feel this is because she enjoyed having some form of power over me considering I long held power over her by dominating her in the bedroom when I lasted longer). This lead to arguments in other areas in the relationship because she obviously didn’t respect me and as a result I would just have a negative mood a lot of the time during that period of my life as I began to realise behind all the honeymoon period and sex chemicals she was a very manipulative and cold person.
• This negative mood, depression, anxiety, lack of self-love, not feeling like a man etc all just lead to me disliking myself and the opposite sex because I know that pretty much most girls (in my area and my generation) are not going to want to be with a guy who is a premature ejaculator. As a result this only makes my serotonin and dopamine lower and makes the P.E worse, a negative feedback loop that is a vicious cycle to escape from.

Since being on this site I have learnt about a lot of stuff and I notice that out of all the issues I have related to PE the biggest one is over arousal. If I even read something sexual I can feel precum building up and when I squeeze the tube under my shaft (don’t know what its called) precum will come out. Reading anything sexual, watching porn, hearing noises that sound sexual, seeing attractive women etc can all make me very excited and cause a build up of precum very quickly. This I feel is the most important thing to fix but it’s one of the more complicated problems within PE as it is psychological. I know from reading a bit of ByggD and Drummer19’s posts on arousal there is a lot of helpful information there which I’m due incorporate into my simple edging routine but I’m still trying to fully understand it all before I start logging it. My main concern with those methods however is I’m not sure if they permanently reduce the amount of over arousal I get from seeing or experiencing sexual stimulus and that I will have to constantly be on the ball with this whole thing. I hope what Drummer mentions about ‘reprogramming’ our response is going to work for me.

As for the chemical imbalance from depression and anxiety etc. I don’t believe in using SSRI’s, I don’t take drugs recreationally nor will I to cure this P.E but I’ve started exercising again (a lot more aerobic for mental benefits) along with cleaning up my diet and educating myself on how supplements work to aid a healthy lifestyle such as 5-HTP (although Spanky mentioned this may not be super effective, it still has some effect), multi vitamins, fish oils, zinc, magnesium - essentially everything needed for my body to be chemical balanced and optimal.

I will post as often as I can but I’m going to be pretty busy this year since I’m going to be building the foundations for my career which will take a lot of time and attention alongside other life things. So if I randomly disappear for a little while its not that I’ve leeched the forum for the valuable information that it provides and just been disloyal to the community but rather I’m just busy and will be back to report to you guys and help others if I can J

Thanks again PEGym, you guys really are awesome.

[Boogy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Boogy]

Sometimes my log will be brief posts and others long and informative, all depending on what I have learnt and how much time I have. I will be edging and doing my routines mostly in the mornings or late in the afternoon before bed.

12/6/2015

• Woke up with morning wood
• Felt slightly horny
• Small IKs over glans, even when my penis rubbed against my boxers when I went to grab baby oil I could feel IKs from movement.
• Ballooned for 10 minutes and Death Grip + Plateau edged for approximately 20 minutes before beginning stages of PONR (the whole time micro involuntary kegels would occur whenever I touched the glans). Stopped, let it calm down for a min or two and continued to Death Grip edge for remaining 10 minutes however didn’t reach plateau phase.

Note to self:

• Continue with ballooning and edging in the same way, however incorporate stretching and kegel routine to fix IK issue?
• Study arousal techniques

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Don't feel the need to apologise for asking questions, and don't hesitate to ask anything. There are no stupid questions. You have a good handle on everything, keep edging, keep exercising and keep it consistent.
Soon you'll be able to boogy all night .

[Boogy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Boogy]

Okay so that was a complete fail, I got really ill after I typed this up and after I had recovered I basically had no will power to stick to this which is ridiculous but oh well lets start again. These are basically notes to myself but people can chime in and make comments as they wish. Here's what I discovered whilst edging at 3am this morning:

My sweet spots on my glans are definitely causing IK, not one specific point but the whole glans and frenulum being stroked together causes IK. Squeezing the glans a little bit makes IK the more pronounced. There is definitely a physical component to my P.E because I was looking around my room at my games, books, towel on my door, lamp etc and whilst stroking medium-fast I could feel that I was building to the PONR despite not feeling very aroused, so something is definitely going on down there alongside my overarousal. After stroking the glans and frenulum at this pace and building up to PONR I noticed that the muscle in-between my scrotum and anus is bulging out a lot more then when i'm resting (I think this muscle is called BC - Bulbocavernosus. Whilst typing this note into my phone my erection has gone down aswell as the bulge, was the bulge from my erection or tense BC muscle from IK relating to lots of stroking on glans and frenulum? I was hardly aroused, breathed relatively well and heart was normal pace but still felt PONR building. So I definitely have a physical aspect, it's not the only thing, but it's part of the problem.

I lasted around 30 minutes before I ejaculated

Questions:
How do I remove these involuntary kegels whilst stroking my glans and frenulum?
I'm not necessarily using a tight grip when stroking these areas, no more than what I can vaguely remember my girlfriends tightness was and i'm still getting IK's. I tested with a tighter grip and squeezing just make sure I was getting IK from this area and it confirmed it. I was reading up on the Bulbocavernosus reflex which is a test they do to gain information on the state of the spinal cord and found this on the wiki page:

"The test involves monitoring internal/external anal sphincter contraction in response to squeezing the glans penis"

This tells me that the involuntary kegel is supposed to be there when squeezing the glans, but im stroking over it with a medium tight grip and still getting IKs leading me to PONR quick. I feel like the members here would tell me to balance my pelvic floor and just continue to edge so I guess i'll start on that and see what results I get.

Note to self:
Try one stroke every 1 – 2 seconds
Start pelvic floor routine
Look at full body arousal after reaching 45 minutes standard edging consistently