Reaching PONR really quickly while edging when thinking about having sex

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

Hey there, I've been edging for 3 weeks and I'm making some nice progress. I'm edging everyday for 45 minutes succesfully, but yesterday I tried something, I was thinking about a sexual fantasy while edging...

I was really close to PONR in about 10 seconds when I was thinking about a girl giving me oral..

Is this normal? If I don't think about sex I can edge without problem because I reach PONR slowly, but when I think in sex I reach PONR really really fast..

Any advices?

Thanks

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Have you much experience of your fantasies being real? I mean are they fantasies? Or memories? Try to either fantasise or remember a time where you were sat happily at a 7 or an 8 out of 10 and just swimming in the pleasure, taking your time, drinking it in, staring into her eyes as they look up, wide and sexily to meet yours, her loving your cock, her not hitting the trigger spots, but her mouth just casually wrapped around you, slowly, gently, comfortably taking you in ...

... safe in the knowledge that when you want to finish you could grab her by the hair roughly and skull fuck her as she chokes and unload straight down her throat, or you could pull out and bring yourself off furiously with your hands and cum all over her face and down her neck.

Fantasy or memory, that works for me. But then it's a talented woman who can bring me off with oral anyway.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

And for what it's worth, actual fucking stimulates me in a slightly different way to oral or to masturbation, so being fast in one doesn't necessarily mean you'll be fast in another.

That's a good thing if you can recognise that and pay attention to the difference, as that gives you somewhere to work from and identify your trigger zones. Then with that, you have a choice of either avoiding those things or deliberately targeting those things and pushing yourself to get used to them. I'd recommend the latter, though I realise that isn't going to be fixed overnight.

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

Have you much experience of your fantasies being real? I mean are they fantasies? Or memories? Try to either fantasise or remember a time where you were sat happily at a 7 or an 8 out of 10 and just swimming in the pleasure, taking your time, drinking it in, staring into her eyes as they look up, wide and sexily to meet yours, her loving your cock, her not hitting the trigger spots, but her mouth just casually wrapped around you, slowly, gently, comfortably taking you in ...

... safe in the knowledge that when you want to finish you could grab her by the hair roughly and skull fuck her as she chokes and unload straight down her throat, or you could pull out and bring yourself off furiously with your hands and cum all over her face and down her neck.

Fantasy or memory, that works for me. But then it's a talented woman who can bring me off with oral anyway.

They're actually memories.. when a girl gave me a blowjob I just could last for 30 seconds, such a bad experience, I can't even enjoy oral sex because I reach PONR really fast.

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Is this normal? If I don't think about sex I can edge without problem because I reach PONR slowly, but when I think in sex I reach PONR really really fast..

Any advices?

Thanks

Keep edging with your imagination. If you can edge for 45 mins no problem but still have no control with sexual thoughts, more aroused, then make it your goal only to edge when you're aroused, instead of for the sake of edging.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Keep edging with your imagination. If you can edge for 45 mins no problem but still have no control with sexual thoughts, more aroused, then make it your goal only to edge when you're aroused, instead of for the sake of edging.

Yep. This. You need to concentrate on the areas that set you off rather than panic trying to avoid them.

Here's a speculative question that I have no idea how easy of hard it might be (pun not intended). Can you edge, then bring yourself close and out of control like you say with memories, and then shut that off before it's too late? Tease yourself as such? Might be worth a try? That feels a bit like "Peaking" to me, which is all about doing exactly that to train yourself physically too.

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

Yep. This. You need to concentrate on the areas that set you off rather than panic trying to avoid them.

Here's a speculative question that I have no idea how easy of hard it might be (pun not intended). Can you edge, then bring yourself close and out of control like you say with memories, and then shut that off before it's too late? Tease yourself as such? Might be worth a try? That feels a bit like "Peaking" to me, which is all about doing exactly that to train yourself physically too.

Yeah, I can shut that off before it's too late but I can only do that when I stop for some seconds or edge really really slowly, if I continue at a "normal" speed I would ejaculate because I'm so aroused when thinking about having sex / receiving oral

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

And actually to continue with that, we know from discussion that PremE isn't all psychological although people have long held that it was, we know it could be any combination of things that vary individually.

But in your case, at least what you've presented here, this is largely psychological, so dealing with that isn't going to be targeting kegels and RKs, more a question of getting yourself into a "sex god" head space where you're not afraid of it, feel in control and know within yourself that you'll be able to keep yourself in the zone.

Do you have memories of being n control or lasting otherwise, from fucking or anything else you can call on to remember what that feeling of confidence of being able to carry on is like? For me, my head space is about feeding and seeing her pleasure first, so my own orgasm is just not a concern until I decide I'm going to turn it up and use her like a cum toilet to finish. And in that head space, I have found myself sort of visualising that my cock isn't even a cock, it's more like a dildo connected to me, and I almost don't feel anything. Which is fucking awesome, I feel free to get her off like I was using a dildo in my hands. It's a useful head space. And it's one you can practice on your own too.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

Yeah, I can shut that off before it's too late but I can only do that when I stop for some seconds or edge really really slowly, if I continue at a "normal" speed I would ejaculate because I'm so aroused when thinking about having sex / receiving oral

Try stopping yourself earlier, again, like "Peaking", don't stop at a 9 and panic, stop at a 7 and bring yourself gently back down to a 5, then try 7.5, and bring yourself back down. And so on.

I blogged on here https://www.pegym.com/forums/blogs/s...se-orgasm.html a while back, see if that helps you. I think the PoNR is mobile and moves, so when you're caught in it you're screwed, but you can get it to retreat, possibly through visualisation alone - which I'm only raising because what you've described is psych first.

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

And actually to continue with that, we know from discussion that PremE isn't all psychological although people have long held that it was, we know it could be any combination of things that vary individually.

But in your case, at least what you've presented here, this is largely psychological, so dealing with that isn't going to be targeting kegels and RKs, more a question of getting yourself into a "sex god" head space where you're not afraid of it, feel in control and know within yourself that you'll be able to keep yourself in the zone.

Do you have memories of being n control or lasting otherwise, from fucking or anything else you can call on to remember what that feeling of confidence of being able to carry on is like? For me, my head space is about feeding and seeing her pleasure first, so my own orgasm is just not a concern until I decide I'm going to turn it up and use her like a cum toilet to finish. And in that head space, I have found myself sort of visualising that my cock isn't even a cock, it's more like a dildo connected to me, and I almost don't feel anything. Which is fucking awesome, I feel free to get her off like I was using a dildo in my hands. It's a useful head space. And it's one you can practice on your own too.

Yes! I had some sex experiences where I could last longer, let's say, about 8-10 minutes with penetration, and I really enjoyed these moments, and I think I managed to last that time because I was focused on giving my gf pleasure instead thinking "wow she is so hot, i'm going to cum fast"...

I think that's one of my biggest problems, I'm a really nervous person and when having sex Im focusing on not ejaculate fast, which leads me to ejaculate faster.

As I said ,I had some good sex experiences with penetration,where she was on top and she controlling the situation and other time being me the one controlling the situation and when I finished I was thinking : Wow, this one was a good one, I lasted about 10 minutes with penetration, that's amazing , and I think that's because I was focusing on giving her pleasure!!

Oh, and when I was controlling the penetration, I think I could manage to last longer but I just wanted to orgasm because she had also orgasm

Problem comes for example, as I said, when receiving a blowjob, because I'm thinking all the time "wow this is great, im going to cum" and It's hard as hell for me to not think about that.

Since then, I've been looking for some guides to last longer and such, and I discovered this forum, which really helps me a lot and now I'm training to be confident and not getting nervous..


What I'm going to do in my edging session is thinking about some "sex fantasy" where I receive oral , edging slowly until I get used to the sensations and control my arousal. Would be okay if I do that?

I have found myself sort of visualising that my cock isn't even a cock, it's more like a dildo connected to me, and I almost don't feel anything. Which is fucking awesome, I feel free to get her off like I was using a dildo in my hands. It's a useful head space. And it's one you can practice on your own too.

That's EXACTLY what I managed to do these times I could last 10 minutes with penetration, and as you say, it was FUCKING AWESOME. I really want to stay calm and try to get in that "status" to enjoy sex.

Excuse me for my english, I'm spanish, haha

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

... I think I could manage to last longer but I just wanted to orgasm because she had also orgasm

She can have loads No need to stop at one! ... but yeah I know that feeling of wanting to cum as soon as she does.

What I'm going to do in my edging session is thinking about some "sex fantasy" where I receive oral , edging slowly until I get used to the sensations and control my arousal. Would be okay if I do that?

I think that would be a good thing to do. You'll know yourself better than any of us on here, and taking the time to learn your own responses, all the little subtle things you didn't notice before, will only leave you in a better place. As I've said elsewhere, that never leaves you, and I certainly found that tackling PremE was a blessing as it forced me to learn way beyond "feels good, feels better, BOOM" which was previously all I knew of sex, and I know I'm a way better fuck for it.

Keep it up Hombre, I'm sure you'll crack it

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Learn to control your arousal and pelvic floor during stimulation Yoda..

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

Wow.. It's hard as hell, I don't know what to do..

Im doing fine edging without thinking about sex.. but when I think about a girl giving me oral I just reach PONR in less than 10 seconds while edging..

Any advice?

[longerlastingnoob Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close longerlastingnoob]

Keep thinking about it.

[Meiretes22 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Meiretes22]

Keep thinking about it.

I'm trying.. but for example, yesterday, I was thinking about it and couldn't stop or go slower in time.. so I accidentally ejaculated..