HeavenTear's path..(log if you didnt get it)

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

Hey!, been a lurker for a few good months but today i decided i would take this seriously.

a little background, pretty much the usual story, bad masturbation habits, and now im here
more psychological problem then a physical

so my routine is like this
i do 2 sets of 20 secs of r.kegels and then a minute r.kegel(for the bc muscle)
same goes for the pc muscle
after that i stretch my penis left right up down and center for 30 secs each direction

then i balloon with oil based lube for ten minutes to get hard and get into the mood

and then i start to edge
[day 1]
so i started standing in front of my bed as if im doggy styling a girl and started thrusting to my hand slow and steady and after a minute or so started feeling pressure at the head of the penis and also the arousal rose,
immediately when that happened i felt like im reaching closer to ponr so i went if slower and still reached ponr so i stopped. that cycle happened a few times but after like 17 minutes somehow my dick lost its erection while masturbating but i could feel a pleasuring sensation and also felt like im getting closer to ponr even when it's 20% erected, how is that?

so i went about for 22 minutes. hoping to understand my arousal better gain control and have better sex life !

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

i didnt mention that i ejaculate every 3rd day of edging
[day 2]
ok so today's session was pretty frustrating because i learned that i dont know shit about my arousal and control
ok so first off i rarely 100% or at least 90% erect when i edge, is that normal? the only time im that erected is when im a few strokes away from ponr.
the second thing is that lets say i just finished ballooning to get erect, immediately when i start edging i start losing erection and that good sensation, and just to get it going i increase the pace of thrusting and start feeling that good sensation again but immediately im figuring that im close to ponr, what can i do?
and sometimes my dick is like 20% erect but i can still feel the arousing sensations, WTF?

so yeah, i need your help guys

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

[UPDATE]
i didnt report my 3rd session, luckily i kept it, and it goes like this
this session was high quality and very insightful
i started it from the end point of my 2nd session, confused but optimistic.
i reached ponr a few times but that's not what counts, the important are the thing i learned from the session and how to edge correctly. because of my bad masturbation habits, my brain didnt do the connection between thrusting and the good sensations, that why i was confused about not feeling those good sensations, but i figured out that i just need to keep doing it and with a few tricks i got over it. the next 3 things i learned are
where's my limit, where i shouldnt get and what's the sweet spot.
------------------------------------------------------------------
(present day)
couldnt really edge because my brother came for a month and didnt really had much privacy but now im back to report, keep in mind i dont really remember the epiphanies i had a month ago.
so i did my pre edge routine and went on with the edging
the first 10 minutes were like always, i edge, suddenly find myself in ponr, sometimes the erection went down to 20% but still felt arousal and felt i could reach ejaculate at that state
but then i focused and went real slow. you know how in cartoons a character runs off the screen but the head stays in its place and then snaps quick to the body? i feel as if the body is my erection and my arousal is the head, like the arousal suddenly go up and i get to ponr. so when i went slow it didnt feel like that, it felt like the arousal and the erection matched, ill keep testing this method.
other then that i really enjoyed 2\3 of the session and unfortunately i did ejaculate on the very last thrust. not making a bid deal out of that.
optimistic

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

WOW
in this 30 minutes session i reached ponr only once!
im feeling like im still out there, in terms of knowledge of self and control, im trying to find my rhythm and my limits
feeling confident and positive
the only thing is i feel like my erection is not in sync with my arousal level, what could be the cause of that?

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

finished the session right now
very pleasurable, it's the one i connected to the sensation the most
and i think i've found the sweet spot, i just need to reach it again, and with time it will get easier im sure of it
one thing that keeps bothering me is that i feel like my erection is not in sync with my arousal level, do you know what im talking about?

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

had another session right now
i learned that my brain thinks that whenever i have a full erection it's time to ejaculate, which is massively holding me back. also when i start thrusting fast (if my erection went down) to get that arousal feeling going, i enter this fast ejacultion mode, which feels like all the times i've masturbated infront of porn and ejaculated quickly, and i guess it is because of that, it just a theory for now but ill check that on my next sessions, ill do that by going really slow and supervised.
i did ejaculated again on my last thurst which was not meant to happen

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

ok so i guess i have an EQ problem, that if i dont fix, i cant advance in curing my pre- e so im gonna focus on that right now

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

this session was just WOW
i did a small kegel routine before the session for the first time, and i dont know if it's psychological or physical but for the first 20 minutes,my dick was fully erected and i edged like im supposed to, finally! and it felt fucking great, by far the best session until now
ill incorporate the kegel slowly to see how i react to it and hope to cure this shit called premature ejaculation

[rapid Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close rapid]

this session was just WOW
i did a small kegel routine before the session for the first time, and i dont know if it's psychological or physical but for the first 20 minutes,my dick was fully erected and i edged like im supposed to, finally! and it felt fucking great, by far the best session until now
ill incorporate the kegel slowly to see how i react to it and hope to cure this shit called premature ejaculation

Congrats on progress,
BTW you did a kegel session or reverse kegel session?

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

both

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

Confused
finished my session and my EQ was shit again,or was it? im confused because i dont know if my EQ is shit or that i get so quick to ponr that it seems like the only time i can get hard is when im close to ponr, my intuition says that it's shit EQ
im doing 5 sets of 5 seconds and then 1 set of 10 second of kegel for the pc muscle and same for the bc muscle
then i do 5 sets of 10 seconds and then 1 set of 20 seconds of reverse kegel for the bc and pc muscle
is that good?

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

Great session today! two major things
my erection is back , still a few drops here and there but ill keep kegeling for sure.
second, i think i found out how im suppose to do it,i mean, i already thought i knew how to do it but every session you learn something now. so this time i just had this arousing feeling while edging that my instincts just told my to stay with that feeling, go faster or slower if needed, but stay with that feeling , i think that this is the plateau, a road you need to stay on not a place you just reach

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

Really good session, it me like 15 min untill i reached full erection, which is still progress and it lasted for like 6-7 minutes. it was not until 10 minutes to the end when i started feeling what i talked about in my previous session
still exploring, positive, will report tomorrow

[HeavenTear Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HeavenTear]

came back after a month of laziness
session was ok minus, no control on erection, starting to do 10 minutes of jelqing after each edging session
besides for that, there was one time when i really felt the arousal and was present, and in that moment my erection was pretty good
anyway we'll see what'll happen tomorrow

[Shikamaru Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Shikamaru]

came back after a month of laziness
session was ok minus, no control on erection, starting to do 10 minutes of jelqing after each edging session
besides for that, there was one time when i really felt the arousal and was present, and in that moment my erection was pretty good
anyway we'll see what'll happen tomorrow

Do you use lube while edging? How do you stroke for 10 mins without getting hard? Maybe your older guy, idk your age but testosterone level isn't very high. Your edging session should be enjoyable. You should stroke your cock and enjoy it and feel excited. Fighting off the urge to cum quickly is the hardest part. Can you tell me a little more about your difficulties of getting hard? Why is it that you only feel pleasure at the end ? When you do feel this pleasure you should try to stay there as long as possible .