Poweron's PreE Log

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

I am starting my log to track my progress as I work to overcome my preE.

For those interested in following me on my journey, I included my intro and details about my condition:

https://www.pegym.com/forums/introdu...ml#post1303630

I also made a follow up post when I felt certain circumstances made my condition a bit different due to anxiety:

https://www.pegym.com/forums/prematu...ml#post1304231

My plan of action will require different exercises and concepts since I am still so new to this:

1. Gaining pelvic floor balance
2. Edging
3. Relaxation (the mental aspect)
4. Porn reliance (Still deciding whether to cut it out completely, or significantly change how it plays a part)
5. Seek treatment for anxiety

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

My first step was actually letting my husband read my intro post.

Over the years, we have discussed our sexual problems, but it was so awkward for the both of us. There were times where we came up with specific instances as to why our sexual encounters failed, whether it be a certain position made me lose my erection, or I busted too soon because I haven’t touched my own self in weeks, etc. We would both promise to work on things (usually the specifics) and go about our lives.

While I may have known all along, I finally came to the clear realization that my preE is our main issue. All the little things were only a result of the preE, and were just excuses. We spent so much time focusing on the small things that I lost sight of the bigger picture, and I stopped trying to focus on the root cause of my preE.

Joining this forum has already had positive effects. I wasn’t sitting in front of my husband and/or sex therapist and trying to lay everything out. I wasn’t trying to deal with my problem on my own. My anonymity helped be a little more open, honest, and a little more focused on my thoughts. Also, I had no intention of my husband reading it.
I made the decision to let him read it for a couple of reasons. Maybe there were a few things that he wasn’t quite aware of, or at least to the full extent. Instead of me simply telling him “I’ll work on things”, I wanted him to know that I really am putting forth effort, and that these things I am working on will not always be obvious to him.

PreE made him a victim - Made him feel that I didn’t love him, or had long lost my attraction to him. I wanted to remind him that this couldn’t be any further from the truth!

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

(Ok, last post for the day)

Yesterday didn’t quite end as well as expected, but I also have to keep things in perspective.

Yesterday afternoon, I had a little personal session while my husband was asleep. My intention was to work on my kegels and do some edging. During the session, I found that edging was not needed at all, and learned something new about my kegels.

To make a long story short, I discovered how counterproductive my kegels can be. I assume through years of bad masturbation habits, I found that I purposely flex me kegels when masturbating. It does heighten the good sensation, but of course, this drives me straight to PONR.

I focused on keeping my kegels completely relaxed. It is hard for me to really describe the sensation I was feeling. It wasn’t PONR and I know it wasn’t a DO. I guess I can only describe it as being in a constant state of climax. It was incredible, and by keeping my kegels relaxed, I never got to PONR or had to stop.

I also learned that stimulating the head of my penis does result in IKs, and need to work on controlling that. This was further confirmed later last night when we decided to have sex.

[Later that day - Also another update without a new post]


To spare the anticipation for those reading, I did succumb to the IKs, and the sex was not successful. We did; however, still have a great time (at least I hope it was mutual), and I also was aware some things.

First, I was more relaxed than usual. Granted, I initiated and had no intention of sex. I wanted to focus on foreplay, giving him all the attention. This have been the reason why I didn’t feel the obvious anxiety.

It was great because I was actually able to enjoy the moments, and pay more attention to him and the sensation I was feeling, something that I am not often able to sense or enjoy without distraction.

I did try to keep my kegels in mind. Even though he was receiving the most attention, my penis was still in the mix of things. I tried to keep my kegels relaxed, and be mindful of IKs. I can tell that it was working.

Things did progress that I was not expecting. I was not planning on having sex. My intention was for him to get him off either through masturbation or oral. He then climbed on me, which has always been a signal that he wants sex He even said to me that it was ok if I couldn’t. I simply told him that I want to give it a shot, but also said that I still wanted to keep going if it didn’t work.

I did a pretty good job of remaining calm, and I didn’t let anxiety consume me like I felt in the past, but I’m sure there may have been some level of anxiety that was there.

At this point, I was laying on my back with him straddling me. He went to put lube on me, which requires the required stroking. This is when my IKs kicked in (I assume when his band would pass over my head). I tried to control the IKs, but it was very short lived. I hit the PONR. It usually comes on lightning fast. I was able to pinch the head in an effort to stop the orgasm. All the semen was built up in the shaft, so when I let go, it all came gushing out.

I didn’t try for a second round this time. Sometimes I am able to get it up and go for another round, and sometimes not. Perhaps there is something in the forums that may help with that.

The good thing about our experience last night was, although preE reared its ugly head, I didn’t let it ruin the experience. I remained calm and moved on, keeping my head in the moment. I didn’t sense the awkwardness, and we continued until he was able to orgasm.

[Things to work on]

1. Definitely need to get those IKs under control. I did a great job in doing so, but some situations or things that he may be doing can make it hard/impossible to maintain that control.

2. I will continue to browse and see if there are exercises or things that will help me regain an erection after orgasm. Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can’t. It would be great if there is something I can do to increase those chances. (round two has always lead to a successful second round in the past).

3. Continue keeping my kegels in check and break the habit of keeping them constantly flexed.

4. Continue my ongoing effort to address anxiety and remaining relaxed during foreplay/sex.

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

I just got done with a personal session, which lasted around 45 min (actually snoozed through my timer set for 30 min). My goal was to continue keeping my kegels relaxed and trying to control my IKs.

Today was a little different, and not sure why. I could feel quite a bit of built up anxiety that was keeping me from fully enjoying it. There were times were I could feel myself slightly trembling, and it wasn't because of the pleasure.

I could also tell my IKs were a little more problematic, so I wonder if this had anything to do with the anxious feeling I had. There was one time I had to pause. I didn't hit reach PONR, but I knew I was nearing it, so I took my hand off the stick.


When having these personal session, I decided I would put a warm towl over my head and turn on Pandora to some meditation music (BTW, those damned 30 second ads in between every other song doesn't help things lol) to help shut myself out of the world. Yesterday was the first time I tried it, and it seemed to work yesterday.

On a scale of 1-10, me session was about a 6, down from a 9 that I experienced yesterday. I wish I knew why the anxiety hit me today. was I cold? was my mind really somewhere else?

It is also worth noting that, during yesterday's and today's session, I did not orgasm. If remembered correctly, not reaching orgasm every time will help me disassociate pleasure and orgasm, helping my issue. Maybe the anxiety was pinned up arousal? I did remember having a drive all day at work today. Not sure if all that is related.

[Quality (1-10)]:6

[Goals]: No new goals - Still want to start out slow, enjoying the pleasure and working on kegels and IKs.

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

[Quality (1-10)]:3

[Goals]: Trying to reflect on my previously set goals. I'm a little bummed at the moment. Had a great start, but seem to be regressing...I don't know why "kegels" keep coming to mind. I had seen an article on a complete break down. Next chance I get, I need to read it. Perhaps there is some info that will come in useful. I admit, I am a little overwhelmed at the moment with all the information the forum has to offer.

[Questions]: Is my kegel game off? I know I have been avoiding regular kegels like crazy, and started using my RKs more the past two days. The RKs seemed to be helping as much as they could, but wonder if they are starting to overpower my regular kegels.

[Today's Notes]: Today didn't go well. It was worse than yesterday. Any pleasure that was felt was responded to by my IKs. I had to take a couple of pauses. RKs seemed to help only a tiny bit, but soon became incapable of stopping the IKs to the point where it helped me reach PONR.

At the end, I gave up. I then decided to ejaculate and try again (something I have yet to do). Literally seconds after I ejaculated, my husband walked in on me and laid down. He was in the mood. I decided I would take round two with sex to see what control I would have after ejaculating.

We laid there for a little bit, and both even got up to use the restroom. About half an hour went by before we tried things. I was able to regain my erection, but the EQ was only about a 4. I did a decent job of remaining relaxed and tried to keep in mind that it may/may not work as to not fret. It didn’t. I tried to stimulate myself, but ultimately lost the erection and couldn’t get it back.

My Main focus so far has been keeping my kegels neutral, which has been increasingly harder to do. My other main focus was working to be very mindful of my IKs. The first two days were so easy, and the pleasure was quite awesome. I have also been using more and more RKs and have been trying not to use my regular kegels…I wonder if that is the issue? I have not used my regular kegels (actually been trying to avoid them) since I started all this 4 days ago.

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Quick update after a couple of hours:

I read Minuteman's kegel master list. I think I have been doing my RKs a bit wrong. I used to push out like I was going to pee, but I remember there was more pushing pressure against my pubic bone, and my abs would pooch just a little. I tried again after reading the article, and think I hit the target better by focusing that pushing pressure right towards my pee hole. I noticed less pressure in the pubic bone, and my abs didn't really pooch (which didn't hinder my breathing at all). I felt like I was peeing, but not actually peeing.

Hopefully I'm doing it right this time?

I decided to test the theory out in the shower with a very quick mini session. It went great, but considering my session from earlier, I'm wondering if ejaculating is the biggest factor for this go-round.

Throughout the whole thing, sensitivity was pretty minimal. I think I only had literally 3 very weak IKs, but those were easily combated with the RKs. There was only 2 or 3 times that I started to faintly sense PONR on the horizon, but the RKs even killed that off. With the sensitivity way down, I was able to pick up the pace quite a bit, and give it a much tighter grip. I had no IKs at that point, and a short RK here and there. Had I nothing else to do, I could have stayed in the shower and gave it a good crank all night.

After earlier, that was at least something to get my spirits back up, but I will put it to the real test tomorrow after having a fresh start. I also remember always having better control standing up. Jerking off in the shower has always been easier than laying down in bed, so I cannot forget that either. Perhaps the standing does much better on that ole pelvic floor? We shall see.

[Drjohn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Drjohn]

Doing only rks for two days Will not change anything.

Ive been doing it for three months

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Doing only rks for two days Will not change anything.

Ive been doing it for three months

This is what has been on my mind all day. With the IKs being tethered to the kegels, would constant IKs be a signal that your regular kegels are too strong? (I don't recall reading anything so far that confirm/denies this). My logic told me that, by working the "other side", it was help bring a balance.

I didn't really know what an IK was before joining here, and I had no idea those "spasms" were the actual devil. Since, I have been afraid to even do regular kegels because I am afraid it will just make the damn thing even stronger!

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Today's update: 1.5.2017

I had a pretty long, tiring day. I didn't plan on having my drawn out session, but decided to test my thoughts from last night again in the shower.

I do feel that last night's shower session went better due to the simple fact that I already came earlier in the day, which desensitized everything.

Tonight, things started off a little so-so. I did have to pause a time or two when reaching PONR, but that only happened when my fingers, in a formed circle, stimulated the glans and frenulum/corona area (still not sure what that sensitive spot is called).

I used RKs, which did seem to work. I was also noticing how my breathing would either stop, or slow significantly. I could tell this has an impact on how my RKs helped.

Odd part is, I used a very tight fist to simulate sex (I have a flesh light on the way). I used a constant RK while slowly inserting, making sure the head of my penis was getting lots of tight contact (this is where my entire PreE problem lies). The RKs made it much easier, and after that, my entire session went fairly well, just like sex. Once I break the seal, I'm good lol.

[Goals]: I think I have plenty on my plate at the moment, and already feel a little overwhelmed. Over the weekend, I am going to go back through my log to see how I sit with my current goals.

So far, the majority of my sessions have been in bed, on my back. I need to start trying different positions to see how well this stuff works, since I know standing helps.

I may also start slowly adding in some regular kegels to see how that helps.

[Update]: I started to feel better after my shower and had some spare time. I decided to go back to get and have another quick session. I know it was short, but by the time I was done, I knew that I could have continued for as long as I wanted.

The RKs really are working for me. I think I discovered a trick. If my head is being stimulated for small very amount of time, I try to do a RK pump helps. If the stimulation is more a longer period of time, I can hold the RK. I want to keep this in mind as penetrating for the first time with sex has to go very slow for both of us.

BREATHING - Need to remember! I felt kinda goofey, but I started to breath as if I were having sex (without being loud). It really does help, especially when I remember to do it during a RK flex.

I tried switching on my side, and got on my knees. Either position is how we usually initiate sex. I tightly gripped my fist, and started to insert, maintaining my breathing and RK to get past that virtual "seal". It worked.

Maybe it was the mental thing. One I get it going, the rest is smooth sailing. I ended up laying back on my back to continue my session, and my IKs were pretty well under control. I still don't know if this was because the feeling of accomplishment pushed away anxiety that was deeper than I could really feel, or if my penis was just naturally more numb from the session.

I decided not to ejaculate. I will hope this will help me rewire my brain as many people suggest here.

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Today's update: 1.7.2017

Before I start with today, I have to give a quick update from last night:

I ordered a fleshlight and it finally came in(not really a fleshlight, but similar for all intent and purposes.

I got the fleshlight to practice penetration, so it said it was tight. That was the upside. The downside is that the whole length of the sleeve is also tight (and ribbed). I quickly found that the overwhelming tightness of penetration would only continue the deeper I slid my penis in.
I had a quick little session last night to try it out. I did confirm something useful, but also succumbed to the fleshlight and came after about ten minutes of using it.
During foreplay, I usually get my EQ up to a 10. When I start getting myself into position for penetration, I notice that the top part of my head isn’t numb, but it doesn’t really feel much. I usually cannot tell I am inside until my head is fully in, and skin touches the glans and frenulum area.

For whatever reason, when I am trying to line up my shot, I keep getting it in my head that I am losing much of my erection. Sure, my EQ may drop to about an 8 or 9, but it is still strong enough to penetrate. It is at this point that I pull away (or so I was recently told, pull out) and try to massage myself to get back up to a ten. After that, my mind freaks out and lose the erection altogether, or I do get it back up to a 10, but realize that full EQ leads to a ton of IKs (at least starting out).

With this, I learned that I should just chill and keep going, knowing that my erection is still good to go. I also remembered to keep breathing, and holding an RK at least for the initial thrust to protect against IKs. (I should note that we always have sex in the dark, so I have to rely on feeling).

The reason I ended up ejaculating during the session was because I continued to use the fleshlight past penetration, massaging myself with it while I was balls deep. It was just too much, but I never could last very long with the fleshlight I used to have.

Today’s update: THE BEST SESSION SO FAR!

[Quality (1-10)]: 9

I was home alone, so I decided to have a regular duration session. I soon found that being home alone helped me realize some things:

I had the fleshlight handy to continue penetration testing, but didn’t mean to use it as much as I would.

After penetration testing, I wanted to continue with the fleshlight. I kept thrusting in and out, but keeping it shallow. I only let myself get about a half- inch past my head. It was a little tricky at first. What I noticed:

IKs – Since learning about these, I have become so paranoid. This has made me cut out any regular kegel exercises, only relying on RKs, and I immediately go into kill mode with the RKs every time I feel an IK. While this still holds true for strong and/or persistent IKs, I am starting to notice the presence of the occasional, weak IK. I tested this, and found that it was a waste of energy to combat these weak IKs. I should just continue on with relaxed kegals, and only resort to RKs only if the IK is strong or persistent.

There were only two times where I could tell I was starting to reach PONR, even with RKs. When this happened, I pulled out, let myself calm down for about ten seconds, and then flexed my regular kegals a couple of times.

BREATHING – still forget to breath, either when I feel an IK or I use a kegel. Breathing really does help (I keep typing this to remind myself just how important).

I don’t go overboard, but when I have sex, I usually moan. Since I was alone, I decided to give in to the pleasure and let myself moan a little bit. This really does help in keeping breathing consistent, and also helps keep just a tad bit of distraction to avoid focusing 100% on my penis.

As things kept getting better and better, I decided to switch to a few positions. I don’t normally have sex laying on my back, and I always found that position to make me more prone to preE when I masturbate. I tried a couple of positions that I use when having sex, and found the control to be even better.

Using everything above, I was soon able to go to town completely on that fleshlight, even going pretty fast, without any issues. I closed my eyes and pretended as if I were actually having sex, and it everything was pretty golden.

I also remembered to focus on the pleasure my entire body was feeling. I would rub my leg, chest, and neck, anything sensual. It was awesome! After about 45 min, I decided to wrap things up and chose not to ejaculate. I felt like some real progress was made today!

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Today's update: 1.12.2017

Been a few days since I have been on here. The last few days, I have been keeping up with my sessions, and been doing good. I didn't have time or energy to get one in yesterday.

This post is more of a reflection post than anything. I have only been at it for the past 12 days, and I have already seen quite an improvement on several aspects.

For the past week, I decided that I would give my kegels a work out. I set an hourly reminder on my work computer two do a quick set of 20 kegel flexes, and two 10 second holds. The first two days, I felt as if my progress dipped a little, but I remember seeing that this may happen, but after about my third day, I could tell it has been working. I'm curious to see how much more improvement will come after a few more weeks.

I did break my no porn rule...sorta.

I do understand how porn played a role in my life in the past, and I do see how it may have very well contributed to my PreE. I never had a huge addiction to porn in most aspects. I don't crave looking at it all the time, or spend much of my time looking at it. My problem was when I would look at it, I couldn't stop, and would spend a couple hours. I almost always used it to masturbate to. I also recognize how it played a big part with my preE. I do recall that I would intentionally surrender myself to the stimulation of the images, which drove me immediately to ejaculation.

The problem though is that I don't want to give up porn, at least not 100%. It's easy to do so at the moment, because I feel I am in a bit of a detox stage. I want to treat porn the same way that I currently treat my masturbation. I want to fully enjoy it - in a way that is different, more reasonable way that still brings pleasure.

The other day, I allowed myself to get on Tumblr (my choice medium). I told myself that I would allow myself to jump on for ten minutes on my work break, and that was it. I got my fix, but didn't overdose.

During my earlier session, I decided that I would experiment. I have yet to be able to put all this progress to the test and have sex. Both our work lives have been grueling lately, so we have been working late, and going to bed early.

So far, my sessions have been me simply laying in bed, alone, and completely relaxed. I am in complete control of my thoughts and how I respond to myself. It has defiantly served its purpose, but I also feel that I have too much control, control that I wouldn't necessarily have during sex.

I am still afraid that, when having sex, there is external stimulation that I will not be able to control. How do I remain relaxed and in control of myself?

So, my experiment was to introduce porn.... I did this for two reasons:

1: I wanted to gave my progress on keeping myself centered, and being able to control how aroused I allow myself to get.

2: I wanted to add porn as the external stimulation. Not quite as good as having sex, but porn was the next best thing.

After my thirty minute session (not ending in ejaculating) did make my progress more clear!

I was able to keep at it for 30 minutes. I only gave up because I was interrupted. During that time, though, I had no issues with my IKs and was actually able to provide a lot of attention to the head of my penis, which was shocking. I was also able to keep up a decent pace.

There was only one time that I neared what I thought was PONR. I am still confused about that because I think I may have actually discovered the "edging wave" I remember reading about. It lasted about 5 min.

Back in the day, using lube when masturbating to porn never lasted more than 2 min, so the above was a big sign of progress on its own.

I also so progress in how I enjoyed the porn. I did enjoy it; however, I enjoyed in a different way. For the most part, I did not give in to the stimulation, and when I did, I was able to tell myself that I should take it down a notch. It worked!

I am too tired to proof read as I normally do, so I apologize if some of the above is hard to believe. I really had to share this, and also document it for my own reference later. I am pretty pleased with the amount of progress I have made. I really feel like I have been at this for quite some time, but it has barely even been two weeks!

I can't wait to put all this to the ultimate test.

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Today's update: 1.15.2017

I finally got to put things to the test today.Still unsuccessful, and I don't know why. My sessions have been going really good, and I'm seeing progress as far as that goes. What gives?

I still end up at the same place - Busting when trying to insert. My IKs go crazy, and I race to PONR. Looking back, I'm pretty sure I was keeping my breathing under control, and I was also using my RKs the same when I practice with my Fleshlight and/or hand. I was relaxed during the whole thing, and didn't feel any anxiety.

There has to be some key difference that is a complete game changer.....

[esco555 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close esco555]

I had crazy amount of ik too.

I did Min 15mins of Hindi squats, reclined butterfly pose and light rk throughout the day which have helped me, alongside plateau edging and rk breathing.

It took a week for me to notice any improvement and of course will take much longer to master. I'd say closer to 3-4 weeks.

The key is being consistent and disciplined, and not expecting miracles too soon.

[Cokafor Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cokafor]

Your body has becoming used to react a certain way to stimuli. IKs is a trained habit that must be untrained. Just being relaxed will not cut it

[Poweron4u Member Find all posts View Profile Close Poweron4u]

Thanks guys, I will keep at it. I have been at it for 15 days now, but have been flying solo. We attempted to have sex around day 1 or two (also unsuccessful). Been trying to hold off on sex until I felt my PEs were showing improvement. Perhaps cutting out the sex is counterproductive, Cokafor. I think I'm doing good to master my reaction to stimuli when it is just me bobbing my nob in bed alone, but not so much when my other half is in the mix.

I'll report back in a few days to see how that goes.