Hem's Log - I know it's (7)in there somewhere!

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Hey all, I reckon if I blog what i'm doing, i'll be more motivated to do it. (As well as giving my Thread a cheesy blog-type name )

Sept 1st: Time to re-evaluate life; my girlfriend has become more and more frustrated until she finally (was obviously difficult for her - so I hold onto that) asked me to leave. (at the time it was "get out now" after some minor argument). After being "on break" for 2 weeks, she confirmed to me we were best apart.

Sept - Dec: I decide that being the largest i've ever been (bought some 36" waist trousers a few weeks before we moved apart), probably wasn't helping any issues, so I run 1mile every day when possible after work, before moving up to 2 and 3-4miles every other day, and when it's not raining. I lose 14lbs, and now go to work with a good 3 inches spare trouser room, safety pin ftw - or even clipping fastener into the 1st belt loop! This demotivates me to not running any more (it's freezing out, and my housemate's heating is fu*ked). Should I move out and get a new job in 2 months when contract is up? In amongst "sorting life out" (watching porn - i didn't do too much when I was a kid - see my welcome thread), I think "small dick". Find forums, and register.

</minilifestory> - start here!

Dec 1st '09: A good day to start PE I reckon. I bought a tape measure and took my stats (see Sig).
After reading a fair few posts, I feel confident that JP's 90-day beg routine (https://www.pegym.com/forums/gym-forum/2166-jps-90-day-beginner-routine.html) is the way to go for me. (I'm still reading the thread now - there's a lot of pages and useful questions/responses/advice there!)

So I get to work, using some coconut-flavoured lube I had lying around from my happier days, and (having read about the wonders of 20mins earlier) a rice sock.

(During the day, at work before lunch, I got through 50 kegels (aiming for 2secs each, but involuntarily stopping most), holding the last 5 for slightly longer. This gave me a 7/10 erection, so luch was 5mins late.)

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Dec 2nd: Ordered the book Exercising the Penis: How to Make Your Most Prized Organ Bigger, Harder & Healthier from Amazon. Yaye. Again, I get through the kegels, take them a bit easier this time, so lunch is on time (ha).

I run through JP's routine, and after warming down give my penis a check over. My whole package looks great (and small - it's cold - would running a routine in a cold room have ANY EFFECT on my HEALTH, or possible GAINS?), no signs of spots (that I was expecting) or stretch marks or anything weird. Good news. Probably looks good due to me plucking down to the last 10-15% of the shaft last week in prep. Balls still hairy give me a problem when doing wet-jelqs, so this will get shaved (and my beard) tomorrow morning after a shower.

Wondering if VITAMIN suppliments are actually WORTH IT health wise and cost wise (I have a very testosterone/protein high diet; not enough greens or veg), and more than 6hrs sleep a day.

[JohnSmith011 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnSmith011]

Hi Hemmels welcome to the gym! to answer some of your questions
first off if you have some extra weight to loose then defiantly running will help if you are over weight losing aproximatly 15-30 lbs can POSSIBLY add an inch to your length - no gaurentees though it depends on your fat pad if it is large then loosing weight will defiantly help gains if it is not then you'll just have to stick to a routine but you will most likely see gains within the first month but if you dont dont give up! gains take time i know a guy who didnt gain for like 3 months but he continued on for like 2 years and at the end of his journey was very large comparitive to his orginal stats

On the issue of vitamins i believe they are defiantly worth it you can pick up a bottle of l-arging for like 5 dollars i think and it will last you quiet a while also i would recommend omega-3's i believe they helped a lot in gaining girth for me

Anyway good luck man! keep on keepin on

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Cheers for the reply, I'll definately think about ways to keep fit / look after myself more. This forum helps, and i'm grateful for anything anyone has to say (believe me, there's a lot to learn)

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Dec 3rd: After JohnSmith's words of inspiration, (and a cloudy day (thus not freezing)), after work I "paced myself" to run 4.8miles (my new record) without dying of lung pain or anything stupid, in probably near 50mins (there are some b'stard hills, and i'm 12stone, and 5' 10"); I felt I could've ran on, but called it there as to not over exert myself.

Day 3 of JP's routine, after I trimmed my beard and pubic hair. Still some annoying hairs during V-Jelqs (maybe i'm not used to them yet?), and some red rashes on my upper thighs near my groin - figured this is crotch rash from when I was overweight.

A quick check over after shows 1 pin-prick red dot on my glans. Figure this is normal. Also the blue vein staring right back at me when I look down seems very prominent.

During Jelqs midway up my shaft I feel as if i'm "neading" out where my glans used to be when flaccid; again, treat this as a good sign, change is good.

May try some edging in a bit - <mini-lifestory>I wish my ex could see me, - actually scratch that, it's only been 2 months; gotta think med-term. I'm seriously thinking about getting her a xmas gift however, to show I still care for her, but i'm almsot 100% certain this is a bad idea. Damn life is hard.

[JohnSmith011 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close JohnSmith011]

Hey hemmels good to see your motivated! that rash could have been from running more than you ever had just throw some neosporan or some vasselin on it it will go away i get them sometimes. Also the prominent vien is a good sign! your unit is getting better blood flow thus over time it will be able to hold more blood. Anyway keep on workin at it man good luck!

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

<mini-lifestory>
Dec 4th: Felt a bit bad today, with the holidays coming up (I go back to see the family in a fotnight for 2 weeks), and thoughts to my ex. I was debating whether to pop round, (xmas gift or not), just to let her know I was still "about", but a friend at work offered very good advice and said that girls don't want anything stressful around xmas time, so best to not bother at all. Not even card or anything. Which I can relate to. I know what they're like.
I just hope I don't wait until her b'day in Feb, and Valentines day to do anything stupid and mess it up.
Feeling extra bad infact, because I did have to cigarette up when leaving work, because my head was spinning, I didn't do any exercise because it's freezing again, and only about managed 30 mins or so of some work tonight to hopefully futher my career.
</mini-lifestory>

Managed to get 40-50 good kegels in before lunch, but realised my breathing pattern falls to pieces (held breath too long), and I end up gritting my teeth while trying to hold my PC. (EDIT: I do this during jelqs as well ) Decided that this was definately bad form, so did 10-20 later on for 2 second holds.

Continued with day 4 of the 90-day routine, but because of the bad day, this created a load of negative PIs, and penis felt smaller than ever (even during the v-j's I was at max 60% erection. I usually try edging, or ejaculating to get to sleep most nights after the routine, but tonight I felt so drained, i'm probably going to hit the sack and sleep until my alarm wakes me.

<mini-lifestory>

Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day, and i'm heading into town with some work colleagues afterwards to sample the xmas markets. Even though most of them are Grade A losers, I'm sure i'll be able to have fun grading girls out and about. Hopefully that should cheer me up for the last of my 5 day set.

P.S. Sorry for all the life-story tags, but I need to stick it on record somewhere so I can read it back; plus, I'd imagine there's a lot of people older and wiser than me (or maybe younger and wiser!) who can share help and opinions if you want, it's all very much appreciated (even via PM).

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Dec 5th: Noticed my blog is a day in front of it self, because I usually PE 1am-2am lol. Anyway, because of the town-visit and the shocking day yesterday, I decided that having 3-on 2-off could be the way forward, especially given my dick's sexual and physical experience of a 17 year old.

My unit responded very well to PE today, as expected, and had to stop after 60 or so V-jelqs, because I became fully erect. This was confirmed by the fact that normally my fingertips usually are very close to touching when pulling up my shaft (small yeah yeah), but couldn't as I became erect.

Having completed the routine I went on to edge for 20mins, maybe hitting the PONR spot on at least 4 times, including a fantastic kegel for about 20secs that felt like ejaculation, but nothing came out, (not even pre-cum during the build-up). This kept me "in the game" for a good 5-6mins after, but I was so worked up that when I looked at my desktop background I lost control. (I deserved it? lol) On the plus side, I slept like a baby for the first time in a long while, which was nice.

<lifestory>

Was pretty emotional that night as well, so spoke to a work friend again who managed to sort me out, so I feel a bit better today. He thinks I need to set myself realistic goals, (career, g/f, health) rather than get stressed unecessarily (trying to move home, get a better job, stress over my ex), I've got it better than most (job security, time on my side), and yet I'm acting clinically depressed. This hit home because he was actually (read: medically) depressed not that long ago. I'm going to go for a 4mile run (to make up for the heavy night out Friday, and the Burger after), and then probably have a pizza because i've not got food in. Been meaning to get to a health shop, maybe i'll do it when it's not -30 outside. (or at least mild)

[iamhopeful Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close iamhopeful]

HEMMELS! I saw your reply in my thread just now, and I was going to check out some of these logs and I recognized your name. I read your log, and honestly you must be my long lost twin.

My relationship with my girlfriend ended towards the end of October. I too went up to a waist 36. I too spontaneously decided it was time I got in shape. I too decided to run, and I too have a 5inch member which I hope to turn into a monster haha .

But yeah really, our lives sound somewhat like mirrors of each others. I have been running consistently for a month and half. At first I couldn't even run 5 minutes, but now everyday I run for at least 40 minute, and on my best days 1 hour. The best part is my old jeans which were waist 32 are now loose on me!

Listen man it really isn't any of my business, but since you decided to share I feel compelled to say something about your breakup/ex. My breakup with my girlfriend hit me really hard, it was a two year relationship and I was super crazy about her. I won't go into details, but that break up in combination with a series of events really beat me down; but what I have learnt is fretting over the past gets you nowhere. I forgot who said this but, "happiness isn't the absence of problems; its the ability to deal with them." You should use your ex/breakup as fuel to improve yourself beyond recognize, and everything will find a way of working out; and at the end of the day, with or without her you will still be a better man in every way. You also have to choose to move on, and say from here I go forward and never dare look back; its all very hard but what in life isn't right? Good luck.

Keep up the blog, I will most definitely be reading it!

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Excellent post iamhopeful.

[hhorner50 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close hhorner50]

I think it was a good idea to not get anything for your ex-gf for the holidays, not only for her, but for you. Hardest part of breaking up is moving on, and you need to learn to do it. Sorry to hear about the breakup. It's really good that you are running and have PE to put your concentration.

What do you have as your desktop background?

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

Cheers guys, I really appreciate the words/time you guys put in. I do think that penis size is as much as 50% emotive; (I know when I'm scared to sh*t it turtles - P.S. Hasn't turtled since I started PE which is nice) hence all the lifestory tags.

Hopeful: Wow, that is weird. Handily for me, sounds like you're 2-3 months in front of me, so if anything good/bad happens let me know lol. I'll defo be reading your log anyway

hh50: Cheers man, the exercise (physical and PE) is a life-saver; I also have work to do and this forum to browse, so not enough time to dwell. I can't tell you specifically what my desktop background is, because I have Windows 7 slideshow-background-awesomeness. But it's my favourite model right now. (Incidentally, who also turns out is a complete douche and spending some douche's cash, (they were made for each other!?)).

6th Dec: Having been sleeping really, really well recently I decided not to spoil it, and wake up really late. I went for a 4mile run (weighed myself naked at 11st 10 - that seems pretty low since I was 14st little under 3 months ago), had a hot shower for warmup (damn did I need it 'cos it was cold outside!), and got through day 6's routine in the 40mins it deserved. I think that due to my sensitive penis and ability to treat this as non-masturbation, I managed to pretty much keep a 6/10 erection for the whole thing, and I feel really good about it.

I also noticed through the day that my flaccid length seemed slightly longer than usual (usually sometimes close to turtling), which is promising; and during the V-Jelqs earlier, my balls swapped high/low positions when stretching to the left/right. I'm not sure if this is through pulling too hard (It's not been hurting at all, but I read somewhere to "feel the stretch"), or through being in a cold room, but again, i'm going for "change is good".

Tomorrow is another week. Not sure how i'm going to continue PE when I visit the family, but i've got a few ideas.

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

7th Dec: Day went well today, woke up feeling good, work went quick, i ate healthily and ran the full 4.8 miles I set out to do, even if I paced myself for it a bit. Had to stop twice during the PE routine, because of a 7.5/8 out of 10 hard-on, but I put it down to feeling great and resisting temptation to masturbation past the PONR yesterday, and such a great day on the 5th.
<lifestory>
I always go "window shopping" for girls when out and about, but (maybe because of the weather / time of year) I've found nothing near remotely what I had before (even if I was punching above my weight). I've definately moved on, because I'd imagine I couldn't care less if I found out she was going out with someone else; but; she was with me for a year happy, and a whole year of getting more and more frustrated. I'm not dwelling, the point is, I know I can get the 9 or the 10/10 girls, even if I'm only a 6 or a 7 (on good days 8!) myself.
Personal development is the name of the game until i'm 25, and this log is my motivation and proof.
</lifestory>
No "ball movement" during jelqs today. Dunno what that was about. Still loads of hairs on the underside of my shaft (ouch to pluck? scared.) and the sides near the scrotum. Will maybe pluck these this week.
EDIT: Went edging for 20mins, felt good for the last 4-5mins (gradually getting closer and closer and stopping) until I blew just trying too hard but I'm sure I was close lol.

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

8th Dec: Gotta be in work early tomorrow, but I can't give up after 2/3 great days!

Was kegelling (spelling) at work and somehow, pulled a 8/10. When I could feel it starting to harden, I tried to get on with my work and not go with the "pulls", and after 20-30 seconds my dick made 1 massive "pull" that I couldn't resist from probably a 8 o'clock angle to somewhere near 10 o'clock (my natural angle is 10.30/10.45) (Thank you still wearing 36" trousers lol). So, getting into the toilet (and seeing the biggest penis on me I have ever seen for sure (much more girthy)), I had a play around with 8-10 dry kegels (to see how much room there was in my skin lol - I'm sure my smooth muscle is still my LF, given (what I think) is a large amount of foreskin I have even while erect (and i'm cut)).

I played with urinating in spurts (which took about 5 mins lol), i.e. kegel to stop, pause, then reverse kegel to "shoot". (Only found out about reverse kegels and how it can help relax an erection (Damn I needed you 6 months ago!!).

Figured this was good stuff. Finished up with 80-100 kegels throughout the day.

Before warmup, my testicles are saggier than ever before. Heh. Not great session because was worried about getting up early, but still managed to edge for a bit; trying to dry cum and failing with reverse kegels. Aiming to last longer than 2mins next time i sleep with a beautiful girl.

<lifestory>
Her birthday is before Valentine's Day, (End of Jan), do I "celebrate" her birthday with card + gift, or wait until the god of erotic love and beauty plays his game on Feb 14th? (Obviously subject to conditions, she might be with someone, so obv I'll check that scene out first (i'm not against leaving it a year either as a weird 3rd option, (think: Time for me to grow));

Equally, I don't want her to panic when she gets to 25 and start getting hurt again; I think I was her 3rd after 2 poor efforts (with apparently big dicks (not ironically, who hits girls anyway?)). This will also give me time to find myself, career etc.

Long story short. I'm at 7.2/10, in a month i'll be a 7.6/10 (think exercise and the PE) but, in a year i'll hopefully be a 9/10, with a career and the stamina of an ox after the PE efforts; and this is the girl I want to spent the rest of my life with; grrrr the more I type the more it sounds like "wait until you're 27, by which time she'll probs already have kids (she's a year older than me), but it'll be ok 'cos there are more fish in the sea". Ah well. Maybe just a card for both bday and Feb 14th, if she's free. (And a "Merry Christmas, with love ..") text in a fortnight (She might even reply with "stop texting me", that'd defo sort it out, but I can't help feel I didn't show her what I could have been for her). I'm also down with not chasing 1 girl for the rest of my life, so whatever.
</lifestory>

[Hemmels Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hemmels]

9th Dec: Turtling today, so keep Jai streching to keep it loose. Probably will call today a rest day after the epicness before today
EDIT: Not many good PIs at all today; it's pretty cold so didn't go running or anything; landlady hasn't been over in a few days, so no heating on; and feeling a bit lonely and depressed. Probs couldn't get an erection if I tried. /sleep