Bdsm

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I thought I was post this thread as I didn't want to ask loads of questions about sub/bottom on another person's thread which wasn't really relating to that.

Apologies if this has been asked before, I did search the site but no results came up however my iphone seems to have limited functions.

What I would like is for people so share their experiences and thoughts on Dom/Sub & Top/Bottom?

I ask as I have always thought I was submissive in the bedroom as I like certain sex acts and prefer a man to take charge however I know I would never be able to give up full control to another person so does that make me a bottom? Or I am neither?

Any opinions are greatly welcome.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

Being a bottom is just a term used in the gay community, but yes, they are usually the submissive ones.

Dom/sub has nothing to do with BDSM. Its just the dynamics of the relationship. Im a dominant man, not controlling, but I like my woman on her knees. Or bending her over the kitchen table. Im the Dom, she is the Sub. Nothing kinky.

Top/bottom are gay terms. Same sort of dynamic as dom/sub, just different terms. Bottoms are the guy on the "bottom", or getting fucked. The top is the guy doing the fucking. I don't have this experience but I would think the roles are sometimes reversed, just not sure how often.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

Then I am most certainly submissive and not a bottom as suggested!

I have the same sort of sexual set up as you.

[D3monh3art Member Find all posts View Profile Close D3monh3art]

Well I'm not a sub and not sure i could ever be one but i do enjoy to see a woman that knows what she wants. My wife on the other hand she is submissive but in the last few escapades we had i also seen a side of her where she likes to take full control of the women's we are sharing in some of our nights. After i saw this i have bought her a strapless vibrator and I had the privilege of laying back and just watch her fucking her friend to oblivion. She enjoyed it so much and she also said now she understands why sometimes i had the urge to just thrust as hard as i could. The best feeling she had and also orgasm was when she asked our friend to give her a blowjob while she was holding her by the hair, she has a orgasm only from the view in front of her eyes. Was amazing for me to see such a change in her... but in our relationship nothing changed.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Well I'm not a sub and not sure i could ever be one but i do enjoy to see a woman that knows what she wants. My wife on the other hand she is submissive but in the last few escapades we had i also seen a side of her where she likes to take full control of the women's we are sharing in some of our nights. After i saw this i have bought her a strapless vibrator and I had the privilege of laying back and just watch her fucking her friend to oblivion. She enjoyed it so much and she also said now she understands why sometimes i had the urge to just thrust as hard as i could. The best feeling she had and also orgasm was when she asked our friend to give her a blowjob while she was holding her by the hair, she has a orgasm only from the view in front of her eyes. Was amazing for me to see such a change in her... but in our relationship nothing changed.

So why not let her pound you with the strap on??? I've asked the Mrs to do that to me ,but no dice.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

My wife on the other hand she is submissive but in the last few escapades we had i also seen a side of her where she likes to take full control of the women's we are sharing....

It's funny I've had two separate ONS both with women. I would never had a ONS with a man.

The first time it was 50/50 for control, the second time I was fully dominate. Again I would never be like that with a man, I know what I want and like but am very submissive naturally.

I'm completely different with women to men, I guess to like your wife. Maybe because I don't see them as relationship material.

[D3monh3art Member Find all posts View Profile Close D3monh3art]

So why not let her pound you with the strap on??? I've asked the Mrs to do that to me ,but no dice.

Because i got no interest in getting pounded by anybody man or woman... as i said I'm not the kind of enjoys or wishes to be submissive.

[D3monh3art Member Find all posts View Profile Close D3monh3art]

It's funny I've had two separate ONS both with women. I would never had a ONS with a man.

The first time it was 50/50 for control, the second time I was fully dominate. Again I would never be like that with a man, I know what I want and like but am very submissive naturally.

I'm completely different with women to men, I guess to like your wife. Maybe because I don't see them as relationship material.

Well as stated i like when a woman shows she knows what she wants and has confidence but the dominant part that she showed was a surprise for both of us... very, very pleasant surprise. When is just us she is a very catty like and sensual woman and i guess this is why we get along so well in our sex life.

[dmizzle Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close dmizzle]

I like when a woman is aggressive, but not dominant. My girlfriend almost always initiates and I love that. But she initiates in a submissive way.

[Physdoc Retired Moderator Member of the Month July 2019 Find all posts View Profile Close Physdoc]

I agree with dmizzle on the top/bottom thing. I've only heard or seen it in reference to gay couples.

My gf and I are more like equals a lot of the time. But occasionally one of us will take a dom role and tie the other one up for play. It's fun with each role. Being the guy, sometimes it's nice to not be expected to make all the moves and just let her tie me down and do as she pleases - happy ending for all every time.

We're not into S&M beyond some light pain free play, so can't really comment on that.

[D3monh3art Member Find all posts View Profile Close D3monh3art]

I like when a woman is aggressive, but not dominant. My girlfriend almost always initiates and I love that. But she initiates in a submissive way.

Now... that's my cup of tea too but my wife is more playful then aggressive. We also have some boundaries in how much we advance in our roleplay, we know some cases that went to far... and it was difficult for them to reset their relation again.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Top/Bottom is just another way of saying Dom/Sub. It doesn't depend on sexual orientation.

AND, there is a spectrum of doms, and a spectrum of subs. I am a sub (yes, submissive man), but there are certain things that I don't like:

- humiliation
- hitting/spanking
- being called "slave" or "servant"
and others...

The point is, it's ok to have your own boundaries. There's no such thing as something that you "should" or are "supposed to" do as a sub. It's totally up to you what you want and don't want, what you like and don't like.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Hmm interesting.