Need some dating insight

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Dunno what my problem is..but I have attachment issues or something.

We had such a wonderful friday (last week)...we spoke about personal stuff, we told each other that we liked each other..we kissed...So you know, I thought hey, this is working out, we're together...but no...now she's ditching me while i got attached to her!! Wtf!!! This really sucks. I would have been fine if I didnt get attached.

I cant stop thinking about her and it's pissing me off so much. I want her to come on facebook so we can talk. I want her attention again!! It just stopped suddenly after sunday!

[RyanV Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RyanV]

Wow man, thats a bit drastic. I know I'm only a few years older than you but you don't have to jugde her like that. You don't know the actual reason why she's like this. Just have a honest conversation with her, have fun with her. Dont play these hot and cold games.

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

Wow man, thats a bit drastic. I know I'm only a few years older than you but you don't have to jugde her like that. You don't know the actual reason why she's like this. Just have a honest conversation with her, have fun with her. Dont play these hot and cold games.

I know, I'm an extremist. How can I talk to her if she's not online? And if I were to talk to her in school, it's definitely NOT the place!!!

I'm going to stick by my decision though. She needs a bit of cold. I've never been ditched before. Lame. I just need to find out the underlying cause, but that will be difficult.

[RyanV Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close RyanV]

Dont give up that fast man, especially when you just started dating her. You should try to find out what the reason is why she's acting like this. You don't know the actual reason, so don't draw these conclusions yet. Talk to her and find out. If she's not interested, fine, move on. Simple as that. But maybe her reason is quite different, you dont know. She might have trust issues, I don't know, or somebody told something about you and she got scared. Talk to her, dont you have her phone number? Or txt mssg her

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

OK Radio, dude, the ONLY one blowing this as far as I can see is YOU! I'm confused, just exactly how did she ditch you? You asked her to study with you and she said she couldn't and even apologized and now you're all up on this notion that she somehow "ditched" you and you've now decided to retaliate by giving her the cold shoulder? Dude, I'm sorry, but that's immature bullshit. As Ryan said above, you hardly know this chick and yet your already set to have her burned at the stake because she couldn't study with you? Big fuckin' deal dude. Get over it. You don't know what other plans she may have had nor do you know what her life is like...........you've only hung out with her for a week. And this business about wondering if one of your ex's facebooked her or some crap like that?????? Dude, all I can say is that you are going to be your own worst enemy with this. You're sabotaging your chances with her because of your way of thinking. It's not her bro, it's you.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

Once again I agree with MrBD. It sounds like she was trying and you never gave her a chance. If I was a young uncertain girl and you acted like that? I'd be embarrassed and hurt. What was she supposed to do? So she couldn't study with you and apologized -- how is that her fault? She tried to talk with you and your phone rang and you walked out on her -- how is that her fault? Seems to me like you want this to fail. If that's not true, you need to stop reading things into her actions that I just don't see there. I see a young woman who is anxious and embarrassed and doesn't know what to say when she sees you, so she is not fast of the mark in starting conversations. And you have probably scared her to death by giving her the cold shoulder when she does stop to talk with you, or is around you in a group. Just stop this silliness! Call her and say "I know we don't seem to be doing very well this week, but I really enjoyed last weekend and I want to see you some more. Is there some time that would be good for you to get together for lunch or coffee or to study or something?" Really, it's not that hard!

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

She ignored me all day monday also. Then we didnt pursue our usual facebook chat/texting.

We've been speaking to each other for nearly a month now! I do know her somewhat well, and she knows me.

I think I figured it out. She doesn't want a serious relationship, she isn't ready. She knows that I'm ready and that scares her.

Here's what happened: she started talking to me first. we became interested (she always showed more interest). we talked, hugged, kissed...and I started to really like her. As soon as it got too serious, she backs off and leaves me in the smoke. Now, I'm pretty upset/pissed because I thought it would work out, but it didnt.

So now there are two scenarios: 1) she wants to continue having fun..she wants to get to know me, slowly, at her rhythm, then she'll MAYBE be ready for a relationship

2) She wants to stop all contact right away because she doesnt like me anymore.

I know I'm my own enemy, but I cant help but feel like SHIT! I thought it was the beginning of a fantastic relationship. I turn everything into overly dramatic shit. I dunno wtf is up with that...

[Radiohead Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Radiohead]

It really isnt such a big deal. I need to cool off!!!! She's doing the right thing, taking a little break, taking it slow!!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Radio, I said it earlier and I'll say it again, you are going to be your own worst enemy with this. I mean, shit man, cut the girl some slack. You've known her for a month...............a month's worth of time isn't enough time to really know someone. A month is maybe enough time to find out what she does for a living (provided she works), what her major is in school, maybe some family background and maybe her musical likes/dislikes and so forth. But, to get to know her can take months dude..........I'm just saying.

You say she ignored you all day Monday also. She may have had something on her mind that had NOTHING at all to do with you but she was mentally preoccupied so she didn't pay any attention to you. I know I've gotten like that before. According to you, you went to some lab class and she approached you and said "Hey Marko" or whatever it was she said and you blew her off. I know if that were me and a girl had done that to me, I'd think she wasn't interested in me and I'd move on. Again, I'm just saying here dude.

One of the things I want you to take from this Radio is NOT to read too much into something. If you know for a fact you've done nothing wrong and she's acting odd or disinterested or whatever, try finding out what's up. She may not want to tell you and you'll have to respect her decision in that regard. Just don't let your mind screw with you. You'll start sabotaging yourself and then you'll REALLY have a problem............you'll be alone.

[yorky Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close yorky]

Radio. Mr BigDick is right, dont beat yourself up! If your really worried then maybe talk to her about it? ask her how she feels about you and her together and stuff like that?

Im in a similar boat as you man, im with this girl, amazing when were together yet we cant talk via txt and shit, im always the one having to find things to talk about or trying to keep the convo going and its hard to kind of relax and not beat myself up about it. Im always worried shes gonna leave me in the dust because i feel like when we txt it seems like she cant be bothered or she doenst want to talk to me and stuff. Everyone tells me to relax and not worry so much so i know how your feeling its hard to not worry when you feel so strongly for them but hey we cant do anything about it!

MrBigDick is right, if you read to much into things it screws you up, so just take a step back man, ask her how she feels and just take it slow!!! If you get down, just imagine how fantastic it was when you two made out and that with time that will happen over and over. just relax and tell her how you feel and i am sure it will all work out fine

[Gel King Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Gel King]

Radio, I'm going through almost the same thing right now but my situation is a little different. I'm on a bit of a rebound, but I just met literally the girl of my dreams, so there's many many things pushing me to rush things. Like yourself, My mind has been screwing with me.. and I ONLY REALIZED THIS after reading this thread.

Everyone who's given you advise on this matter is right, but at the same time of course it's much harder to apply in real life. We are afterall human beings with EMOTIONS, and cannot be programmed to act a certain way right?

But please listen to me.. someone who is in very much the same predicament as yourself. I will SCREW MYSELF OVER if I keep doing what I'm currently doing. I'm playing the hot and cold game, allowing myself to get TOO high (which sets up the LOWS), I wait for her, I OVER ANALYZE almost everything... and the outcome: I'm not truly able to be myself when the opportunity comes around to talk.

Again, I only realized what I've been doing wrong after stumbling across this thread. Reading this thread just might have saved the beginning of a beautiful relationship. The girl I'm after is worth a lifetime.. so if it takes days, weeks, months for it to happen, it will all be worth it in the end. Take a second and think 'is Mary worth it?' If she is.. then just relax, be yourself and let time do it's thing.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

She ignored me all day monday also. Then we didnt pursue our usual facebook chat/texting.

She wore the shirt you bought her, right? That's hardly ignoring you. She did it on purpose, then probably felt like you didn't respond.
You said yourself that she is inexperienced. I'll bet she's telling all her friends how confused she is, you seemed to like her but now you're ignoring her.
The fact that you were her first kiss probably makes it worse, I am sure she's doubting herself now.

You have to get over this juvenile stuff and just talk to her. Say something like "This has been a confusing week for both of us, I think, but I really enjoyed last weekend with you. How about going for a walk so we can talk?"

DON'T do any more of this artificial cold shoulder stuff. It sucks for both of you.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Had a thought, what if girls have their own game playing websites, you know kind of like the seduction community thing you are into?

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Radio. Mr BigDick is right, dont beat yourself up! If your really worried then maybe talk to her about it? ask her how she feels about you and her together and stuff like that?

Im in a similar boat as you man, im with this girl, amazing when were together yet we cant talk via txt and shit, im always the one having to find things to talk about or trying to keep the convo going and its hard to kind of relax and not beat myself up about it. Im always worried shes gonna leave me in the dust because i feel like when we txt it seems like she cant be bothered or she doenst want to talk to me and stuff. Everyone tells me to relax and not worry so much so i know how your feeling its hard to not worry when you feel so strongly for them but hey we cant do anything about it!

MrBigDick is right, if you read to much into things it screws you up, so just take a step back man, ask her how she feels and just take it slow!!! If you get down, just imagine how fantastic it was when you two made out and that with time that will happen over and over. just relax and tell her how you feel and i am sure it will all work out fine

I will tell you something else here Radio, I also fall victim to my own self induce mind fucks. For instance, yesterday, Cindy called in sick to work. She was having an issue and needed to see a doctor. Anyway, she texted me throughout the day telling me how much she wanted me and that she wasn't sharing me with anyone blah blah blah. I asked her out the night before and she couldn't and last night she was apparently at her brother's birthday dinner. Soooooo, she texts me last night about 6:30 or so and asks me what I'm doing and I told her I was sending this chick who shall be named "Jane" an email. She didn't ask what the email was about nor did I elaborate. The email was about financial matters. Jane and her husband are considering filing bankruptcy and since I have a financial background, she was picking my brain for ideas on their options. That's it. Somehow, when I told Cindy that I was emailing Jane, the texts suddenly stopped and she said she would let me go and would talk to me later that night. I never heard from her. I sent her a "good night" text.........no response.

So, I'm naturally thinking that she's pissed off at me or her own trust issues are fucking with her mind. Either way, I did NOTHING wrong what so ever and I've got this feeling in my gut that she's pissed at me or otherwise. I guess we shall see.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I will tell you something else here Radio, I also fall victim to my own self induce mind fucks. For instance, yesterday, Cindy called in sick to work. She was having an issue and needed to see a doctor. Anyway, she texted me throughout the day telling me how much she wanted me and that she wasn't sharing me with anyone blah blah blah. I asked her out the night before and she couldn't and last night she was apparently at her brother's birthday dinner. Soooooo, she texts me last night about 6:30 or so and asks me what I'm doing and I told her I was sending this chick who shall be named "Jane" an email. She didn't ask what the email was about nor did I elaborate. The email was about financial matters. Jane and her husband are considering filing bankruptcy and since I have a financial background, she was picking my brain for ideas on their options. That's it. Somehow, when I told Cindy that I was emailing Jane, the texts suddenly stopped and she said she would let me go and would talk to me later that night. I never heard from her. I sent her a "good night" text.........no response.

So, I'm naturally thinking that she's pissed off at me or her own trust issues are fucking with her mind. Either way, I did NOTHING wrong what so ever and I've got this feeling in my gut that she's pissed at me or otherwise. I guess we shall see.

MrBD, my advice to you is the same as my advice to Radio: talk to her. We all know that misunderstandings happen, and when someone gets upset for a silly reason, it is simply just kind to help dispel whatever misconceptions they have. In your case you can guess exactly what she's thinking, and it's just wrong. So laugh it off and help her out! You guys have a great thing going, don't mess it up with silliness when you know you can fix it easily (at least in this particular case).