I'm A Woman, Ask Me Anything!

[SnapperLapper Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SnapperLapper]

What would be the most effective way to relay the message to a conservative inhibited woman that she needs to do some self-discovery to find out what works for her specifically to reach an orgasm?

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

What would be the most effective way to relay the message to a conservative inhibited woman that she needs to do some self-discovery to find out what works for her specifically to reach an orgasm?

What do you mean self discovery? Mental or Physical self discovery? Either way this is a difficult question as I don't know what you already do. What I can say however, that just like anything in life if you don't expand or improve what you normally do it will eventually fade out of popularity and/or become boring. Remember though, most people fear change so change is best done gradually. The best way to introduce and implement change is to first communicate the change to everyone involved and try to get buy in (why this is beneficial to all involved) and then break the change down into steps and as each step is approaching make sure you communicate what is going to happen.

So what I am saying is talk to her about making your sex life more exciting - stress for both of you. Talk about ways that you could see making it better and what it does for you and what you think it would do for her, then ask for her input on what she might like to see happen. Make a plan to try one new thing that is a nice mix of what you both talked about - always stressing the goal of the change - to increase the pleasure of both.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

Who do you feel should initiate sex in a relationship? Is it a mutual responsibility or should each kind of know when alone time will be? I know in a long term relationship with kids involved it changes things, but the question is still of interest to many. How to initiate without feeling your pressuring the other partner?

[SuperDude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close SuperDude]

Should women have the right to vote?

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

Who do you feel should initiate sex in a relationship? Is it a mutual responsibility or should each kind of know when alone time will be? I know in a long term relationship with kids involved it changes things, but the question is still of interest to many. How to initiate without feeling your pressuring the other partner?

Ah? Who ya asking?

Id love my wife to come on to me once, just once in our 35 year life together. Maybe if I get big enough.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Should women have the right to vote?

Of course!

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Ah? Who ya asking?

Id love my wife to come on to me once, just once in our 35 year life together. Maybe if I get big enough.

I'm sure that's not the reason.

[That'sNotVeryAppropriate Member Find all posts View Profile Close That'sNotVeryAppropriate]

What are some things I can do to better please a woman inside and outside of sex. I don't enjoy being with someone if they don't enjoy being with me, makes me feel bad. and i know not all women are the same, but what would work for you?

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Give them your credit card.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I'm sure that's not the reason.

Guess im grasping at straws.

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

[QUOTE=TheZZMan;1378376]Who do you feel should initiate sex in a relationship? Is it a mutual responsibility or should each kind of know when alone time will be? I know in a long term relationship with kids involved it changes things, but the question is still of interest to many. How to initiate without feeling your pressuring the other partner?[/QUOTE

I think who ever is in the mood should feel comfortable enough with their partner to initiate sex. I don't think a lot of women are comfortable initiating sex however because of social norms. I think also men have a different view of what initiating really is. Women initiate it more than men think because we tend to be a little flirty as opposed to coming right and and saying what we want or performing any overt actions that leave no doubt as to what should happen next. Like grabbing or groping him or saying "I want you now" and straddling him. In my case, if you never told me how much you like for me to aggressively pursue you, I probably would still stick to my timid ways of hinting around.

[Tamora Retired Super Moderator Member of the Month Aug 2015 PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Tamora]

Guess im grasping at straws.

You need to stop mentally torturing yourself.

[Qandisa Senior Member Member of the Month March 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Qandisa]

Who do you feel should initiate sex in a relationship? Is it a mutual responsibility or should each kind of know when alone time will be? I know in a long term relationship with kids involved it changes things, but the question is still of interest to many. How to initiate without feeling your pressuring the other partner?

I don't think the responsibility should fall to one person or the other, it's just a whatever the mood dictates kind of a thing. I think in most of my situations - aside from playdates setup with FWBs that were specifically for sex - most of the time I don't think sex has been specifically initiated by one person or the other but has just kind of naturally progressed out of whatever we were doing. For instance PL will be over and we'll be cuddled up on the couch watching something on Netflix. I'll snuggle up against him, he'll give me the occasional little kiss on my neck, I might be absentmindedly massaging his thigh and invariably my hand will just kind of drift upward and things will just go from there. Did I specifically initiate it or was I just reacting to the situation? And technically at some point during the fondling and kissing PL will say "Okay, have to fuck. Pants off. Now." -- is that him initiating it, or responding?

[TheZZWoman Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZWoman]

What are some things I can do to better please a woman inside and outside of sex. I don't enjoy being with someone if they don't enjoy being with me, makes me feel bad. and i know not all women are the same, but what would work for you?

What works for me is a great sense of humor. He can make grocery shopping an adventure. He also does the littlest things that let me know he is always thinking of me. Like if he is out and buying things for the house, he will always pick up something he knows I love, like starburst candy. Very small little treat, but lets me know that even though I am not around, he is still thinking about me. He cooks great dinners and if I have a bad day he is there with a drink and a reminder of what is really important. As far as the sex goes there is not one specific thing that does it, it is about the whole experience from beginning to end. The teasing, and build up are key for some great sex, but that doesn't mean that every once in a while a quickie doesn't hit the spot.

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

What works for me is a great sense of humor. He can make grocery shopping an adventure.

This is one of my greatest joys - just being goofy. I've crop dusted a whole grocery aisle at times (farted in the store for those not domestic). Acted like I walked with a limp. Commented openly on ridiculously obvious things while strangers we around. I've even playfully bantered with other customers to their delight. I tease the clerks, have fun at the check out and so much more. Life is what you make it, and I choose to have fun and make others enjoy it as well. I also like being remembered - When I go to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions, I don't have to tell them who I am, they just go in back and pull it when I come around the corner. I say, leave a legacy for yourself that people will remember long after you are gone.

Tonight my wife and I sat at our fire table on the deck. I had a conversation while watching flames dance on the table. She had her computer on her lap answering question on the forums. It was just a wonderful way to end a stressful day. And we shared that together. So I guess the key is to not get into such a rut that you both sit there looking at each other with nothing to say. Cause if you do, I'm probably going to crack a joke and get you to giggle.