Jealousy and insecurity

[afilho Member Find all posts View Profile Close afilho]

I'm 32 and she's 22. We're dating for a few months, she's sweet and caring to me, we have good sex, only issue is she can't orgasm, she feels pleasure, gets wet and horny but doesn't orgasm, is because she has a small clit? She said she had just one orgasm in her life and I got so insecure and jealous over this. I wonder, is it just one? Because I had girlfriends in the past who had orgasms with me so I don't think the problem is me, I try everything to please her, lots of foreplay, oral, but I'm getting frustrated

There are other issues that I'd like to share. She's still in college, sometimes I get worried and jealous about other guys hitting on her! I'm jealous and insecure because she used to partying/clubbing/drinking more than me in the past, I even feel jealous of her old social media pictures, this makes me wonder if she finds me boring because I'm not into it too much. Everytime we go out she never offers to pay or split the bill and sometimes I think she's using me.

Sometimes I feel confused, before her I was having fun, wasn't attached to any girl, was only hooking up and having fun, dating multiple girls. I wasn't dealing with insecurity and jealousy. Now as much as I felt in love for her, I cope with issues like insecurity, jealousy, low self esteem, etc...as I always did in my past relationships...this bothers me! Sometimes I think about breaking up because of these problems. What should I do?

[Sticke Senior Member Member of the Month March 2018 Find all posts View Profile Close Sticke]

You have a thick penis, if she was able to orgasm she would have. Many girls have difficulty reaching climax or are totally unable via penetration so that's perfectly normal. If she orgasms while doing foreplay then you are totally fine. You don't have a reason to be insecure. Not many guys have your thickness and as other girls have orgasmed then you are doing things right. You said you think about breaking up with her, because you are insecure? Don't you respect your feelings about her and hers about you? You have a nice d*ck so don't be a p*ssy. Time to grow up. Enjoy your relationship, because she does

[Jhest Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jhest]

Insecurity in a relationship is a horrible feeling, been there done that man. Dont ever second guess your worth, seems to me like you're showing true effort to please her in the bed and thats more than most guys will offer a girl straight off the bat. If shes not having an orgasm chances are its neither of your faults. Relax, keep trying, and I'm sure you'll end up finding what really gets her to that point. My ex was similar in the sense that she had very few orgasms but we found out together what made her orgasm most effectively and after that point it was smooth sailing!

It also sounds like she'll be graduating soon and once she does that age gap will be almost negligible because you'll both be in similar stages of your lives but it probably feels like a hurdle right now. Keep your head up and stick that chest out brotha dont sacrifice your confidence for anything

[Dance Sucka Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dance Sucka]

Hey afilho, it's messed up that it feels like she's using you. I can't believe that she's only had one orgasm if she was a party girl.

When you get into a relationship and make yourself vulnerable, your true self always shows through. I might be too direct here but it almost sounds like you don't love yourself enough to feel that you deserve this girl without trying "everything to please her."

Whatever is going on, you've absolutely gotta get your shit handled. Even if you two are having sex she can still sense your jealousy, insecurity, and low self-esteem. Your emotions could be blocking her from getting so turned on that she just has to orgasm. Why live life that way bro? Women, love, and sex aside, you'll be way happier if you learn to be confident and authentic.

[closed251 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close closed251]

I know you men are rather driven orgasm wise but some of us women aren't. Just enjoy the moment between the sheets and stop focusing on the end goal.

Regarding not splitting the bill... well she's 10 years younger then you and still in education. She's in a different part of her life. I don't think it's a big thing, if your earning and it's not excessive.

[Dance Sucka Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dance Sucka]

I know you men are rather driven orgasm wise but some of us women aren't. Just enjoy the moment between the sheets and stop focusing on the end goal.

Regarding not splitting the bill... well she's 10 years younger then you and still in education. She's in a different part of her life. I don't think it's a big thing, if your earning and it's not excessive.

Being a broke ass student myself I'd normally agree, but if you're in a relationship and one partner never offers to pay, maybe they are taking advantage of your generosity. She has the money to club and buy drinks but not to invest in dates with her boyfriend. That doesn't sound right to me.

[master-gauge Senior Member Member of the Month May 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close master-gauge]

^^ I will mention a small clit is a very good thing.. The nerves are more concentrated there then on a larger one.. Look up "how to eat pussy like a champ".. Pay close attention to the "Nina Hartley" section of the video (the first one)..

If she was still in College I would just pay the bill if I was working, it's not a big deal at this point for me.. As far as guys hitting on her, it's the environment that she is in right now.. As a guy in a Blue collar position, women are hit on everyday on the job sites..

Some guys just can't handle that fact, and these women find it hard to get guys to date on site.. If they see someone at work they like.. They won't bother with them because they know this fact.. I would find it hard myself knowing she would be continually hit on.. It's more or less the same thing..

Saying all this, I don't think I would be ending it over your insecurities thou.. But maybe set some rules or have a casual chat if u are getting serious about her..

[afilho Member Find all posts View Profile Close afilho]

Like I said, I know how te please a woman in bed, I've had girlfriends who orgasmed and another ones who didn't so I dont think the problem is me. Even my ex wife she learned to orgasm with me, I was her first. About my girlfriend I will try to forget about this and let things happen naturally, sometimes I don't orgasm with her too. I bought that book She Comes First, I started reading, maybe it helps.
About she doesn't pay for things, she has a job but she's on minimum wage and that's why I don't bring it up to her, so I pay everything for us. Almost every girlfriend I had in my life I always paid for things, it's the way things are. I never dated a feminist though.

[Dance Sucka Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dance Sucka]

Like I said, I know how te please a woman in bed, I've had girlfriends who orgasmed and another ones who didn't so I dont think the problem is me. Even my ex wife she learned to orgasm with me, I was her first. About my girlfriend I will try to forget about this and let things happen naturally, sometimes I don't orgasm with her too. I bought that book She Comes First, I started reading, maybe it helps.
About she doesn't pay for things, she has a job but she's on minimum wage and that's why I don't bring it up to her, so I pay everything for us. Almost every girlfriend I had in my life I always paid for things, it's the way things are. I never dated a feminist though.

Sounds like you two haven't developed an amazing sexual chemistry. Learning technique probably won't help you that much. Learning how to make the build up to sex an incredibly emotional experience will help. I hope the book is insightful, maybe it'll talk about this.