....Huh

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

So this is something I didn't see coming. This is going to be a tad weird so I'll try and make this quick.

As weird as it is for me to say I've been role playing with another guy (yes, I'm bi, or bicurious at the very least) and over time got to a semi-real Dom/sub+pet/master thing, (with me being the Dom/master). Seemed like everything was flowing smoothly and building up to something with this guy being shy about moving forward, but eventually willfully deciding they were okay with it.

Recently it got to the point where he was showing great enthusiasm for wearing toys/panties on command, but when it suddenly came to speaking to each other, through phone or a VOIP program (Discord as an example), suddenly they got spooked. Now there is a big BUT to that being spooked in that he admitted that he was "addicted" to me, and when he was with his girlfriend (I did not know he was in a relationship) that he would wait until she was asleep to speak to me and liked it.

Now I'm not depressed about this, but I certainly didn't expect such an outcome such as someone being addicted to me. I haven't heard from this person for a few days now and they disabled the places we spoke on, but I am wondering now if they do speak to me how to go about something like this.

Does anyone else have experience with something like this? Is it even worth wondering about what to do next?

[TheZZMan Moderator Member of the Month Sept 2018PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close TheZZMan]

No experience with this, so I disclaimer as such. But like any other relationship, it takes time to build. I would think speaking with a stranger on line comes with some anxiety. Sounds like it was safe as long as the role play was that - fantasy late at night. Possibly your spooked him, which is why he pulled back. But if the forum you were on has an open section, and you continue to post, he most likely will still follow you and if as you say addicted to you, may come back when he feels safer again.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

That's true enough. Honestly, I think this....relationship(?).....whatever it is, brought something out in me I didn't think was there. I didn't think I had something like this in me, but apparently I enjoy control of this kind. Perhaps in my inexperience I did something wrong, or maybe no one did anything wrong and things like this happen.

Suppose all I can do is learn from this, whatever there is to learn, and move on.

[BU_Terrier7x6 Member Find all posts View Profile Close BU_Terrier7x6]

Honestly, I think this....relationship(?).....whatever it is, brought something out in me I didn't think was there. I didn't think I had something like this in me, but apparently I enjoy control of this kind.

First, congratulations on coming out with your kink/fetish. Second, there is nothing weird about role playing. Third, there is nothing weird about role playing with another guy.

You have awakened a part of yourself you never knew existed. As ZZ stated progressing from role play to talking can be a huge step. When I was still on Grindr I had no problems doing the Grindr mating ritual, but if a trick wanted to talk on the phone before meeting, I hell-noped out of there quickly. I wasn't on Grindr to find my husband; I was there to get off and look at cock. Talking on the phone seemed like a progression of the relationship that I didn't want to happen.

If you run into him again, you now know (1) you like role playing, (2) he has a girlfriend, and (3) your pet may need your reassurance. With (3), you as a newly-minted dom also means nurturing your pet on his terms. In the meantime, enjoy the liberation of realizing what gets you going. Many adventures await you!

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

First, congratulations on coming out with your kink/fetish. Second, there is nothing weird about role playing. Third, there is nothing weird about role playing with another guy.

Thank you. I know there is nothing wrong with role playing, but it's just that whole thing of having pretend sex and that whole stigma.

You have awakened a part of yourself you never knew existed.

The dom/control thing was a bit surprising to me....well, maybe not. I do seem to like having control in other areas in my life from years of not having it, and find that I'm always searching for it in some way. I guess it's no surprise really, maybe just to me that I thought I wouldn't like it, but did in the end.

Talking on the phone seemed like a progression of the relationship that I didn't want to happen.

This seems like an arbitrary stopping point, at least to me, as if he's willing to receive gifts and do more things in return then talking on the phone shouldn't be a big thing, but that's me I suppose.

If you run into him again, you now know (1) you like role playing, (2) he has a girlfriend, and (3) your pet may need your reassurance. With (3), you as a newly-minted dom also means nurturing your pet on his terms. In the meantime, enjoy the liberation of realizing what gets you going. Many adventures await you!

From what I understand he's no longer with her, although I do not know as to what caused this. With the nurturing I was doing that with him asking for more I stepped it up to not seem "weak", but it seems like I took it a step too far.

We'll see what happens I guess, and thank you for the advice.