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I brought up my insecurities about my penis size with my girlfriend. She'd made a joke about how my penis was small and it "didn't even touch the sides". It couldn't have been clearer that it was a joke but it still bothered me. I don't think she appreciates how much of an issue it is for me and how sexually insecure I am in general. I've not told her that I'm doing PE and have no intention of doing so. I'd like to make it perfectly clear that I never asked how I measure up to previous partners. Asking that is asking for trouble. Well, she took it upon herself to tell me anyway.
She told me that there was one guy she'd been with who was absolutely huge. Of course, my heart sank. She's said in the past that she's been with 16 guys before me (something else I didn't want to know and never asked) and I know that at 6.5"NBPELx5.5", it was very likely that she'd been with bigger but I didn't need to hear it. I said that's the worst thing she could possibly have said to me. She went on to say that this guy's penis was disgusting and everything about the whole experience was horrible. It's a stupid, immature, macho and insecure thing but I'm sure I don't need to tell any of the other guys here that it's heartbreaking for your girlfriend to tell you she's been with a guy bigger than you; even if she didn't like the bigger one. This was just one guy. I have no idea about any of her other former partners and obviously never want to know.
She then went on to talk about how the perfect cock for her is "medium to large", and that mine fits into that category. I think it's obvious that my mind can't get past the 'average' part. I know that I should be thrilled that she says my dick is perfect (that is, assuming she's being entirely honest about her preferences) but I'm not content with just being average. Why else would I be here? It's not so much the feeling that extra size would give her but knowing that I'd most likely be the biggest that she, or almost any other girl, has had. I'm doing PE for me. It's that confidence in being amongst the very top that I long for. While I don't know how big this guy is (nor do I want to), even if I hit my target of 8"x6", I'll probably still be smaller.
Things only got better. She compared my anxiety to her insecurity at probably not being the skinniest girl I've ever been with. My girlfriend is curvy and beautiful. I worship her body. I tell her this every opportunity that I get not only because I love her, but because it's true. Unfortunately, one second of hesitation on my part was all it took for her to think I was calling her fat. She got upset, cried and didn't want to talk to me.
It got me thinking about how strange negative body image is. Guys get upset if their partner has been with another man who has a bigger penis; even if said bigger penis is unattractive and makes sex incredibly painful, if not impossible. Girls get upset if their partner has been with another woman who is thinner than them, even if said thinner woman is so skinny that holding her is like trying to hug a bicycle frame. I know I'm generalising here, but I think it's fair to say that the majority of people have these issues to varying degrees. Unfortunately, my girlfriend and I happen to suffer from them acutely. I feel that this is in party simply natural anxieties, partly fed by media pressure (and I include pornography in this).
I really shouldn't have raised the issue in the first place.
In conclusion: a shitty day all round.
She told me that there was one guy she'd been with who was absolutely huge. Of course, my heart sank. She's said in the past that she's been with 16 guys before me (something else I didn't want to know and never asked) and I know that at 6.5"NBPELx5.5", it was very likely that she'd been with bigger but I didn't need to hear it. I said that's the worst thing she could possibly have said to me. She went on to say that this guy's penis was disgusting and everything about the whole experience was horrible. It's a stupid, immature, macho and insecure thing but I'm sure I don't need to tell any of the other guys here that it's heartbreaking for your girlfriend to tell you she's been with a guy bigger than you; even if she didn't like the bigger one. This was just one guy. I have no idea about any of her other former partners and obviously never want to know.
She then went on to talk about how the perfect cock for her is "medium to large", and that mine fits into that category. I think it's obvious that my mind can't get past the 'average' part. I know that I should be thrilled that she says my dick is perfect (that is, assuming she's being entirely honest about her preferences) but I'm not content with just being average. Why else would I be here? It's not so much the feeling that extra size would give her but knowing that I'd most likely be the biggest that she, or almost any other girl, has had. I'm doing PE for me. It's that confidence in being amongst the very top that I long for. While I don't know how big this guy is (nor do I want to), even if I hit my target of 8"x6", I'll probably still be smaller.
Things only got better. She compared my anxiety to her insecurity at probably not being the skinniest girl I've ever been with. My girlfriend is curvy and beautiful. I worship her body. I tell her this every opportunity that I get not only because I love her, but because it's true. Unfortunately, one second of hesitation on my part was all it took for her to think I was calling her fat. She got upset, cried and didn't want to talk to me.
It got me thinking about how strange negative body image is. Guys get upset if their partner has been with another man who has a bigger penis; even if said bigger penis is unattractive and makes sex incredibly painful, if not impossible. Girls get upset if their partner has been with another woman who is thinner than them, even if said thinner woman is so skinny that holding her is like trying to hug a bicycle frame. I know I'm generalising here, but I think it's fair to say that the majority of people have these issues to varying degrees. Unfortunately, my girlfriend and I happen to suffer from them acutely. I feel that this is in party simply natural anxieties, partly fed by media pressure (and I include pornography in this).
I really shouldn't have raised the issue in the first place.
In conclusion: a shitty day all round.
So, that's basically why I'm here. I also said to myself, Fuck this, I'm doing it for myself! But there is always something behind. It's no harm anyway, at least you're improving your health after all
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