this chick at work...

[growth_problem Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close growth_problem]

So I met this chick at work and yesterday I started talking to her. I was focusing on the questions she was asking me, and replying right back with confidence and not attempting to be nervous. What I realized was, women don't like it when a guy is nervous, they want someone there that is confident and not shy. They want someone straight direct forward, and they are very good at reading the one shy and nervous guy. I was like that a couple of years back but now that I have been with one chick for almost 8 months and we broke up, I have a feeling that I am getting a bit more confident around females. Then again, now I have to work on technique, most people say try to be the mean guy infront of them. Try to act like your being distracted. Then again, I can tell she was really into me, I was being funny, joking around, and putting a smile on her face almost every 2-3 minutes of a conversation. I think she kinda liked that.

Heres my deal, I already caught her attention and she seemed to be talking to me yesterday all day pretty much, we talked for about an hour at the end of our day and she was really paying attention to what I was saying, and I don't know if I did the right thing but I paid attention to her as well to what she was saying. Now I don't know if I should start ignoring her right now after we kind of linked ourselves together with conversations or if I should start talking to her some more. Professionals, educate me.

my mind is telling me just ignore her.

[Trippy Dippy Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Trippy Dippy]

treat her nicely.. women love a guy whos nice... They just dont want one whos TOO nice ie wishy washy, spineless, etc...


Your right about the confidence thing.. The number one attractor of females is for the ability of a man to exude an air of self confidence.. This is one reason why asshole guys or mean guys are attractive to some women.. Guys yelling or screaming or bitching or being an asshole appear confident... but thats where the attraction stops IMO.

Combine being a nice person, a friend, with being confident.. and theyll go for it almost every time...

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

If you ignore her, she is going to be hurt and confused. Just be yourself.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

How about just talking and trying to be friends for a while and put the notion of you getting her into bed away for a while and see what happens!

[DRXXXTASY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DRXXXTASY]

If you put yourself in the friend zone, then that's where you'll stay!!! Don't ignore her, but at the same time allow her to initiate the next conversation.

[catoblepa Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close catoblepa]

Yeah, you have to work on both fronts: Be interesting to her. Let her feel you're hard to get; so that if she would ever want to catch you, she will have to seduce you and to work. That will add up value to you. Men easy to get are boring for a woman. You need to continuously catch her interest and attentions. In the while, give her yours. Listen, care. It's a couple thing, it's bidirectional. If she is interesting to you, just do behave like that. Let her feel that you care does not mean that you are dying for her, that you would beg for a "yes" or nothing like that. It just means that she's an interesting person to you. Can you imagine the brain of a woman treated like that?

[DRXXXTASY Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close DRXXXTASY]

The other thing I'd add is if she's a co-worker there may be problems in the long run.

[TTBB Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TTBB]

If you go distant or ignore her she will take it as a sign of disinterest.. when you see her, always give her a smile as a greeting and a hello but don't push pressure on yourself to make topical conversation everytime you encounter her, it can come off as trying too hard if you are nervous and be awkward... if she makes conversation with you, then keep with the approach you have already established, confident and funny(just don't be too much of a clown or perform too much) if she has talked about things that interest her, or about something she has plans to do, then in a weeks time if you want to make conversation bring the topic up again.. woman like men to show interest in their lives, even over trivial things... don't rush or push for things to progress to the next level if its going to happen it will start happening naturally, you just need to be able to pick up on the signals for when the timing is right to shift gears so you don't end up in the "friend" category.. i believe all of the things i have suggested you have in you and probably are not too much of a stretch from your natural personality... and it is ok to be awkward often when people feel attraction towards someone or around new people awkward happens .. i know get awkward around guys sometimes and i have even been known to blush ...haha

[All2Real Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close All2Real]

Okay, just be yourself as Batwoman said, personally, I think it is very stupid for people to try to impress someone by acting up. Be yourself man, make her smile, many women like that, they don't want a boring man that is too serious. If she liked the way she was treated by you and she was digging your style, why would you want to or even think of changing that at all. This applies to PE as well, if something is working why change it? Use common sense bro, it is the best advice anyone could give you. Good luck!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

DEFINITELY don't ignore her..........not sure why that thought would even enter your head.

You've gotten her interest......as was mentioned above, just be yourself, be nice to her and keep doing what you're doing. If anything, I've found that if you don't talk them all the time or what not and if she likes you, she'll find you and talk to you....TRUST me. I have an ex gf that I really don't go out of my way to talk to and she still texts me now and again asking how I am...........once you win them over and they trust you and like you, they'll ALWAYS keep you in mind.