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CUSP82 · 05-07-2011, 11:59 AM

I would love to give you advice but your post is very hard to read and understand. Not to be a jerk but I few grammatical corrections might make me understand what the hell you're talking about.

NP97 · 05-07-2011, 01:04 PM

Ummm...
Ignore it. Just her being a poop head because her friend is with an ex. They look like they are having more fun than she did with him, so she's wondering why. Nothing wrong with you. Just ignore the crap.

mistydawn · 05-08-2011, 06:14 AM

Hi. It is hard to see your ex with someone else even if it is long over. It being her roommate sucks. That cannot be easy. I can only think of a few of my ex's that I would feel nothing if I saw them with someone else.

MrBigDick · 05-08-2011, 09:22 AM

Who knows why she gets upset but I will agree with misty.........sometimes seeing your ex with another partner does something to you, unless you're totally over that person.

Dr Pepper · 05-08-2011, 09:37 AM

Yeah me and my ex broke up like 5-6 months ago. But last night was her senior prom so in the back of my mind I'm thinking she's getting smashed and it feelsbad. On another note, my ex ex i don't give a fuck, we are still friends too, and she has a bf, yet no feelings whatsoever except that I'd tap that..

TTBB · 05-08-2011, 06:59 PM

The whole friend going out with an ex thing is a hard one for females it can be a complicated thing.

1)though we don't like to admit it, we are competitive with our friends (mostly in a healthy way).. so part of her reaction would probably be stemming from the fear that her friend is better then her be it sexually or as a girlfriend...
2)often when we break up with someone we never what to deal with or contend with them on a daily again, even if it was a good break up..there is still history and old feelings.. when your friend starts dating your ex it means your past stays in your present...which can suck.
3) loyalty, when your friend goes out with your ex she isn't being loyal to your friendship.
4) if it was a bad break up or the guy hurt us then its hard to see him happy with another.
5) if it was a the spark faded break up and you see him happy with another then we question if there is something wrong with 'me' because a) i lost the interest in him b) she seems really hooked
6) when our ex's fuck one of our friends it makes us feel a little less special.
7) the not being over..this doesn't always mean the 'love' feelings it can also mean the 'hurt' feelings...or the 'loss' feelings.

also just because your girl is saying things like "i bet they will have sex" doesn't necessarily mean she is jealous .. it could be that she doesn't want them getting close because of the impact it will have on her life..it could also be a semi protective comment towards her friend a subtle " i wish she wouldn't go there" mixed with " a bit of disgusts that her ex is hooking up with her friend.

i can tell you that if my friend and ex hooked up i would not be happy... too many fish in the see for them to need to hook into each other..and if they were to hook up then they shouldn't be doing it under my nose and in my house... i wouldn't stop them but i wouldn't want to be apart of it.

ripped128806 · 05-08-2011, 08:38 PM

i agree with ttbb.me and my ex of 9yrs are still best friends.we can talk about our new sex life but its not in eachothers face in person that would be hard and we had 9yrs.your girl just cant handle her ex and friend together and in her house .thats crazy .think thats a bad situation all around for all of u

iwanttobebig · 05-11-2011, 08:32 AM

thank you all for your comments!! really! thank you! .. i spoke to her the other day and i got some answers. she said..
for one it pisses her of because if we flirt or mess around, her mum tells us to stop. the dogs get a bit jelous and some times when we are hugging they jump up inbetween us. i think is alright because it show that her two border collys care for us, but rather annoying. but if its her ex and best freind, then she dosn't say anything.
2nd she said, that he wasn't very nice to her, as in.. he ended it because she was too clincy, yet she only rang him because he said to. she said he only seemed to see her for his 10mins sex then want to go home.
tbh i still think she has some feelings for him as in the "lovee" way.
but then saying that, she quite often go's on her ex ex page and she seems to look at his photos. so i dno what to do? i say to her its like she still fancy's him.. but she just gets stressy and denise it, also she's texted him and deleted it.. i only found out because i was texting my mother and it came up with a delivery report. she said "when did i text him? i never knew i texted him." soo i was like just tell me the truth, she got stressy again and said " i only texted him saying hello." i ddno whatt tooo ddoo.. so please doo your awesome job and comment giving me some advise and help? .. take care xxxx and thank you all sooo very much! xx

CUSP82 · 05-11-2011, 09:52 AM

Well you still stink at capitalization but I'll give you a rep for using periods.

TTBB · 05-11-2011, 06:17 PM

It sounds like he hurt her esteem.. it sounds like she was keen on him, she would have been the one chasing him and he wasn't that keen on her, so he used her for sex... so now to see her best friend having more then what he gave her would hurt her and her confidence.. if i am honest i think she is still caught up on him.. it happens quite often with bad boys,which is what he is.

she should talk to her mom about the double standard about the flirting and touching ..her mum is obviously protective of her daughter or struggling to let her daughter go but its cutting your girlfriend off in her sexual confidence and making her feel less then what her friend is.

MrBigDick · 05-11-2011, 09:31 PM

My ex and I talk about sex and dirty stuff all the time..............

In fact, today she came up to me at work (we work together, that's how we initially met) and she says "Can I ask you a personal question?".

Well, duh, we dated for a time, have slept together numerous times so we're pretty comfortable with each other and I said "sure, as long as you're ready for the answer"......she then proceeds to ask me if I've ever tried to suck my own dick. WTF??? It did make me laugh because she can be VERY random like that.....

The way I look at it, the ONLY way an ex will get pissed off about dating someone else is if she still has feelings for him. Otherwise, I can't see why it would matter.......

iwanttobebig · 05-14-2011, 07:25 PM

ok thank you all

yees i'm sorry i aint very good at spelling and stuff :/
thank you allll soooooooooooooooooooooo much

x

StarTC · 05-15-2011, 06:12 AM

To me it sounds as though she still has feelings for him in some form or the other. I agree with TittyBangBang on the hurt self-esteem. Low self-esteem can lead to clinginess and it can be a stressor in a relationship.

One very importantquestion...are you a rebound for her? To me, you'd have to sit and decide if you actually WANT the relationship in the first place. By that I mean sit and assess it fully looking at its pros and cons. In this case you MUST help build her self-esteem in different ways just not OVERTLY. Please don't say anything about esteem verbally. Instead, do stuff together with your girl. Get her out of the house a bit more, go for walks/ jogs to get her blood pumping. Exercise can work wonders on our moods.

At 9 months in I do not know the routine you both have but if you don't, you HAVE to show that you appreciate her. Tell her that she's perfect as she is and stuff like that and be genuine when you say it. Self-esteem is tough to rebuild and although it should be a matter of personal choice, as her significant other and as her man, you have to be the one to lead her to feeling better about herself. Just be subtle about it and have fun with her.

Also, do not hassle her about her ex...I think the best option is to stay unreactive to her comments and the like. Do NOT fall into the trap of arguing for ANYTHING since quarrels only lead to drama and would in this case especially in the current situation.

I think this video can help a bit as well in helping you assess your relationship at this point in time...
YouTube - Strangers, again
It's called "Strangers, Again" and is very touching and real. Everyone should take a look at it because it is relevant to ALL of us.

Take care, all the best,
Blessings flow.

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