How can a guy approach a girl he doesn't know?

[vball Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close vball]

You have some real self confidence issues that you need to deal with here.

This is not about "how do I approach a girl" this question is really about you.

One thing that is both helpful and entertaining is the course you can take (forget the name) by the guy that teaches men about themselves and about women and about how women think as a group.

Its the "cocky/funny" thing.

In addition you need to build up your confidence a lot.

With the statements that you are making, you are going to have a lot of problems dating this woman even if you are able to walk up and talk to her, get her number, and get her to agree on a date.

She is not going to be attracted to you if you have all these self-doubts.

Women as a group want men who are confident with themselves and are in control of themselves. They dont like wishy/washy and they dont like lack of self esteem and self confidence.

And they dont like boring! And they are not going to like clingy either.

These FACTS apply even when you have been married for 20 years like myself. My wife gets very turned off when I occasionally slip up and act in these ways. Even though she loves me, its still annoying and a turn off. Of course you have a lot more leeway to "be yourself" when you are in a real relationship and your partner understands you as a person...

However, in dating its going to be the kiss of death to lack self confidence....which you obviously do lack.

Do some reading online on this subject, learn about yourself and learn about male/female psychology.

You will find that your looks are not primary, your dick is not primary, its your personality, confidence, and the way that you "carry yourself" that make all the difference..and the way that you approach dating.

At the moment you are setting yourself up for rejection from the get go.

I'm guessing your talking about David deangelo

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

Ice cream is a nice idea, especially during a hot summer!

My son said he heard from some celebrity that ice cream is always a good date. Everyone likes ice cream.

[Batwoman Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Batwoman]

I haven't been on an ice-cream date in years (well, except with my kids) but I would go in a flash!

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

all thes great gals are telling they love ice cream, take the hint. what can she say, maybe no but it wont kill ya. If i would have known then what I know now at my age, dang.
Give it a shot, I think you have a good chance.

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

I say CUSP's post is the best one so far. Just introduce yourself to her and compliment her on her positive, upbeat personality. I've used that as a basis to meet a woman countless times.

Whether or not she'll be into you because you're not black remains to be seen. You won't know until you try.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Start with just asking her name. I've done this with a cute cashier girl and now we're on a first-name basis. Not that I really want to ask her out, I was just practicing talking to cute girls. But, if I ever decided to, I'm sure it wouldn't be so nerve-wracking since we at least know each others' names.

[jacktwist Member Find all posts View Profile Close jacktwist]

I'm a lil diffrent than you guys, i work on theory, girls know in the first 30 seconds if they wanna know you better. Thats on the first interaction. EX. Club, store, street. places where you are unlikely to see them again.

Just be upfront, a lot of times if you say something off the wall or totally irrelevant to getting to know them, you can get their attention. Then start a conversion.

Now if its a girl you are likely to see multiple times, you don't have to be direct, but you can't wait to long to make a move. Just man up and start a conversation. even if its a stupid knock knock joke.

as for the race thing. I've been with white girls that claim they only date black guys, when it boils down to things, if you interest a girl race doesn't matter . there is always an exception.

[amiok Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close amiok]

Number one on your list bothers me. Not that I'm against interracial dating, because I'm not at all. But when a white girl is, seemingly, only into black guys my mind goes straight to stereotypes.

But, that doesn't mean she is so go for it. Does your friend know her? Maybe he could help break the ice.

[mistydawn Banned Find all posts View Profile Close mistydawn]

So, have you approached her yet?

[sg0123456 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sg0123456]

I would convince my self that I dont like her that much, that she's just OK.. then I would go to my friends place a few times, make a few friends but wouldnt rush to speak to her. If I'd have been there chatting to her friends a few times and she didnt notice me I would just leave it and enjoy my new friends!

Otherwise, If she noticed me I would open up a couple of genuine, friendly but SHORT and effortless chats about anything really, the work place, where they hang out etc. The winning balance is between looking geniune and cool but not a cock!

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

Jacktwist, you are right but more so within the approach and confidence. Most woman prefer the man to have a aura of confidence about him (not ego or macho-ism but confidence) and a warmness that you are someone she can get to know and talk with in two way conversation. Don't use cheesy pickup lines but don't be abrupt either when approaching her. The worse that can happen is that she either has a boyfriend which you can tell but the body signs if she is sincere or just trying to get rid of you (and if so move on she ain't worth that kind of pain). Really, it is about how you carry yourself and how you speak to her (your game). If you can keep a conversation with her for 5 minutes, you can go even farther. True that.

[PlazmaGunz Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close PlazmaGunz]

So, have you approached her yet?

Yeah I approached her two weeks ago and it went...it was horrible. It didn't go the way I had planned. My plan was:

Wait for her to come to work. "Accidently" bump into her, apologise and walk off. Then sometime during the week ask her to get a bite to eat.

How it went down:

It was on a dark Friday afternoon. The sun was covered by big grey clouds and it was about to piss down with rain and I was in the area window shopping (and getting a £20 top up for my BB phone LOOOL). I started to wait for her and sat outside on the bench reading the Metro newspaper. I read an article in which I didn't realise that 1 hour went by and she still didn't arrive for work. I phone my friend and he told me she got another job at some swimming centre thing. As my luck would have it the new place she was working at was close by and me and my friends were also going there to swim and have fun.

So the next day me and my friend where at the swimming centre and there she was, as a life guard. I walked by, smiled and me and my friends jumped into the pool. We had fun. On my way to the changing room I saw her hugging another guy (I'm not sure if they work together or not). After I get dressed I pluck up the courage and ask her if I can add her on BB and get her number. She gives me her BB and not her number because we don't know each other well enough. I go off smiling and I noticed she was more interested at looking at one of my friend who is mix race and I must say is good looking (half Jamaican and half English).

I tried to talk to her through BB but I always get really slow replies or no replies at all. Three days later I found out I was deleted off her BB

I saw her a few days later and I tried to avoid her but she saw me and we stopped for a talk. Turns out her contact list went nuts and deleted everyone off BB. We went to Starbucks and sat down. We had a conversation and this is where I fucked up huge. She saw me gazing at her tits and smiled, covering up. I then asked her what she's doing next week and she said "why is this your way of trying to ask me to do something or do you just want to know more about me?" I laughed it off and didn't know what to say so I said "no I was just curious". I then asked her if she is with a guy or interested in anyone (which was very bold and direct) and then she said something like "are you telling me or asking me". From that point the mood just changed and the conversation was dying. To save myself the embarrassment I faked a phone call by playing my ringtone and I told her I had to go. I haven't spoken to her since and I think she is avoiding me as well because I never see her now and she doesn't reply on BB. What should I do? Is it over? I don't understand what I did.

[Cdn Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cdn]

You asked her if she had a boyfriend.
You think it sounds bold, it usually comes across as weak and insecure.
From now on just assume they don't and if they do they will make that crystal clear. (Note: I toldone buddy this and he took it to mean that he could act like gods gift to every woman, please don't do that)

Situation is likely unsaveable because she won't reply. (I'm assuming this has been happening for an extended period of time)

Now regroup,LEARN from your mistakes and try again it all becomes quite fun as you get better with it.

regards
Cdn

[Koh Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Koh]

You asked her if she had a boyfriend.
You think it sounds bold, it usually comes across as weak and insecure.
From now on just assume they don't and if they do they will make that crystal clear. (Note: I toldone buddy this and he took it to mean that he could act like gods gift to every woman, please don't do that)

Situation is likely unsaveable because she won't reply. (I'm assuming this has been happening for an extended period of time)

Now regroup,LEARN from your mistakes and try again it all becomes quite fun as you get better with it.

regards
Cdn

Pretty much this, you fucked up.
Learn from your mistakes, and keep moving forward.

How about being honest; hi, I just wanted to come over and introduce myself. I've seen you here a few times and you just look like a fun person to meet and talk to. It just may work! ( try it)

This is a good way to do that, but with other girls.

[straight_shooter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close straight_shooter]

She's either going to say yes or no. Rejection is a part of life so don't be scared of it.
If she says no them you move onto the next one.