Booty Call Help

[Totenkopf Member Find all posts View Profile Close Totenkopf]

A couple of weeks ago, I reluctantly went out with my friends and was introduced to someone. I ended up talking to her all night and made out with her a little bit. We exchanged numbers and she began texting me within a half hour. We texted all week and made plans to go to dinner that friday. The date went well, we ate then just hung out at her place for a while. Please note, I'm not one of those guys who tries to have sex whenever I can, I'm more of a relationship person. The next night, she went out with her girlfriends, but texted me most of the night. She asked me to come over after she got home, so I did. When I got there, she told me she really like me and wanted to date me exclusively. She also said she missed me. I said ok to dating her exclusively, and ended up having sex with her and staying the night.

The next two days she hardly talked to me and I began to worry, I thought maybe I didn't satisfy her sexually or something. Finally, she texted me that she just got out of a 4 year relationship and that she wasn't ready. I tried to call and text, but got not response. After I calmed down, I wrote her a nice message on facebook saying how much I liked her and wanted it to work. A day later, she texted me saying it was a sweet message and that she had to let me know what was going on because she doesn't play games. I texted her back saying I appreciated it and if she ever wanted to hang out, to let me know. I heard nothing from her all week. Then at 1am on saturday night, she texted me asking if I hated her. I said no, and that I couldn't stop thinking about her. Finally, she asked me to come over, so I did. We had sex twice and it was awesome, plus I now knew that I did nothing wrong. The next morning I left and she told she would text me.

It's been a week and I've heard nothing, and I haven't tried to text/call her in fear of pushing her away. I thought maybe she would call or text me last night, but instead I fell asleep disappointed. Also note that she was drunk each time she asked me to stay over. I really want to be with this girl, she's got a good job, she's smart, funny, and a 10 on the beauty scale. I feel like fate caused us to meet because my plans got switched around last minute for that weekend and it wasn't exactly fireworks when I first met her. Also, she knows I'm into her because the second time we had sex I told how much I liked her and thought she was perfect. I was hoping that she's sleeping with me to keep me from being with anyone else, and wants to be in a relationship eventually. But this roller coaster of off and on talking is really fucking with my head. I need stability and answers. I fine with being a booty call for now, but I want it to evolve.

Any advice? What should I do? How do I convert this from booty call to girlfriend?

[3666777 Member Find all posts View Profile Close 3666777]

She can probably sense beta characteristics in you with the way you're dealing with her which could be turning her off unless she's drunk. You come off as a nice guy from this post, however you should display a little more alpha attitude towards her. She made it very clear that she just got out of a four year relationship, so clearly she is NOT ready to settle down. Don't make assumptions, because it's very counter productive and paralyzing. You're all twisted in knots because you're not viewing this the right way. Her actions are clearly telling you it's a bootycall right now. Just have fun. If she calls and wants you to come over great, if not then move on. If she does call you however, KNOW that it's JUST a bootycall right now. Be confident and self assured with her while dating/hanging and definitely in the bed room. Let her actions dictate what this relationship is, not how you wished it to be. Be cool~

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Going to agree with Mr. Numbers there. Let it be what it is and if it is meant to evolve then it will over time. She clearly likes you, but her drunkenness sort of shows that she might be too afraid to do it normally. Her last relationship has done something to her, clearly.

Go with the flow for now. If nothing else you got the chance to know her and have a good time, but if it does evolve into something more than you have want you wanted.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

But this roller coaster of off and on talking is really fucking with my head. I need stability and answers. I fine with being a booty call for now, but I want it to evolve.

Tell her that. If you really like someone you have to let them know how you feel sometimes. It doesn't sound like it's going to evolve into anything else if you just sit around waiting for her to text you. Either you can keep it as a booty call and not tell her (and have your feelings hurt over and over and over) or you can tell her that you want more and either lose her completely or make her yours completely. I'd choose the second and if she's not interested then move on

[Jelqinator Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jelqinator]

I'd ease up with "Telling her she's perfect" etc.
Seems like she only wants something casual if at all right now, so let her come to you instead of being at her beck and call whenever she changes her mind.

[Totenkopf Member Find all posts View Profile Close Totenkopf]

So you guys are saying that I shouldn't do anything and wait for her to get in touch with me?

[Jelqinator Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Jelqinator]

I'm not sure man, but that is mainly down to me being pretty cool with the idea of a solid 10 occasionally giving me an invite round for sex.

You can't force the situation and make her want a relationship with you, the best you can do is be the kind of guy that she would want to get together with. Which is why I'd agree with 367 and his comments about being "Beta". Have a little more pride, maybe give her a little break and call her afterwards, invite her round, but for more than just a quick fuck.

Maybe head out someplace nice that doesn't rely on booze, or let her watch you make her dinner.
If at all possible, try and not let the scenario devolve into sex.

[CaptainJohnson Retired ModeratorSenior MemberPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainJohnson]

I'm not sure man, but that is mainly down to me being pretty cool with the idea of a solid 10 occasionally giving me an invite round for sex.

You can't force the situation and make her want a relationship with you, the best you can do is be the kind of guy that she would want to get together with. Which is why I'd agree with 367 and his comments about being "Beta". Have a little more pride, maybe give her a little break and call her afterwards, invite her round, but for more than just a quick fuck.

Maybe head out someplace nice that doesn't rely on booze, or let her watch you make her dinner.
If at all possible, try and not let the scenario devolve into sex.

I disagree. Invite her out for drinks. It seems like she has been using you as a rebound. I don't see any other way to possibly get her out. If she is avoiding a relationship, she won't come over for anything that seems remotely like a date. Send her a text saying something like, "I feel like some red wine. Drink tonight?"

If you get a yes, it means that she is probably expecting to go out drinking and have sex. If she doesn't respond, dunno what to tell you.

If you meet up for drinks after all, be blunt. When I say blunt, I don't mean tell her how perfect she is or how much you like her; instead, ask/tell her the basics.

A) You like her.
B) Is she not ready for a relationship?
C) If she isn't, does she just want casual sex? Fuck buddies?
D) Does she like you enough that this casual sex thing can become more down the line?

If she keeps gaming you around like this, and you are too emotionally into her for the casual sex thing, then you should drop her.

Don't go chasing heels.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

I'm with CJ

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

A couple of weeks ago, I reluctantly went out with my friends and was introduced to someone. I ended up talking to her all night and made out with her a little bit. We exchanged numbers and she began texting me within a half hour. We texted all week and made plans to go to dinner that friday. The date went well, we ate then just hung out at her place for a while. Please note, I'm not one of those guys who tries to have sex whenever I can, I'm more of a relationship person. The next night, she went out with her girlfriends, but texted me most of the night. She asked me to come over after she got home, so I did. When I got there, she told me she really like me and wanted to date me exclusively. She also said she missed me. I said ok to dating her exclusively, and ended up having sex with her and staying the night.

The next two days she hardly talked to me and I began to worry, I thought maybe I didn't satisfy her sexually or something. Finally, she texted me that she just got out of a 4 year relationship and that she wasn't ready. I tried to call and text, but got not response. After I calmed down, I wrote her a nice message on facebook saying how much I liked her and wanted it to work. A day later, she texted me saying it was a sweet message and that she had to let me know what was going on because she doesn't play games. I texted her back saying I appreciated it and if she ever wanted to hang out, to let me know. I heard nothing from her all week. Then at 1am on saturday night, she texted me asking if I hated her. I said no, and that I couldn't stop thinking about her. Finally, she asked me to come over, so I did. We had sex twice and it was awesome, plus I now knew that I did nothing wrong. The next morning I left and she told she would text me.

It's been a week and I've heard nothing, and I haven't tried to text/call her in fear of pushing her away. I thought maybe she would call or text me last night, but instead I fell asleep disappointed. Also note that she was drunk each time she asked me to stay over. I really want to be with this girl, she's got a good job, she's smart, funny, and a 10 on the beauty scale. I feel like fate caused us to meet because my plans got switched around last minute for that weekend and it wasn't exactly fireworks when I first met her. Also, she knows I'm into her because the second time we had sex I told how much I liked her and thought she was perfect. I was hoping that she's sleeping with me to keep me from being with anyone else, and wants to be in a relationship eventually. But this roller coaster of off and on talking is really fucking with my head. I need stability and answers. I fine with being a booty call for now, but I want it to evolve.

Any advice? What should I do? How do I convert this from booty call to girlfriend?

Here's some advice. Run like hell. She said she doesn't play games yet tells you she likes you and wants to date you exclusively, you sleep with her and then WHAMO, she stops replying to texts and phone calls and when she finally does, she tells you she just got out of a 4 year relationship and isn't ready right now? I'm sorry but what the fuck is up with that? That's game playing at it's best......personally, I'd move the hell on. She is a game player, plain and simple.

[Totenkopf Member Find all posts View Profile Close Totenkopf]

Seems like there's no right answer. I'm not the type to just wait around, so if I don't hear from her in a few days, maybe I text her and see if she wants to hang out. I'm never gonna get anything out of her by just sitting around and waiting.

[CaptainUnderpants Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close CaptainUnderpants]

Here's some advice. Run like hell.

If you want a relationship, which is sounds like you do, then run like hell. If you just want to bang her then bang her.

The girl is nuts and doesn't know what she wants. I think she is more likely still bouncing in and out of this 4 year relationship, and uses you for moral support when the relationship goes south. And when she is back on with this boyfriend, then you don't hear from here.

Keep your prospective. She is crazy, know this, embrace it. Treat her like the insane person she is. It might be some great sex. Do not however become attached to this girl as she is acting very selfish at this point.

And finally remember, most women are crazy. They don't know what they want. And when presented with exactly what they "Say" they want they usually run from it and reject it.

Sorry to you women that have your shit together. This isn't true with all women, just a large percentage, so don't take this personally.

The perfect movie scene to demonstrate this. "Tootsie" with Dustin Hoffman and Jessica Lange.
Scene: Jessica Lang says to Dustin Hoffman (Dressed as Tootsie) "Wouldn't it be nice if a man could just say this "You know I find you attractive, and would really like to be with you, how about you come back to my place and we make love"
Dustin several days later as him self, uses this exact line on Jessica Lange and she throws a drink in his face.

Oh how true.

[Totenkopf Member Find all posts View Profile Close Totenkopf]

Don't contact her. Let her contact/text you. Wasn't that what she said anyway? I think you need to be less available. It sounds like she's calling all the shots. Whenever she decides to phone you go over to her house. She says she wants to date you exclusively, has sex with you, then says she doesn't really want a relationship after all, and doesn't contact you for a week after that. Then the second time she has sex with you, says she will text you, and doesn't. That sounds like she's playing you. Let her know you have other options. Don't be so reliable, don't hope it'll be something more, and don't write any more messages about how much you like her/want it to work, either. Just let it be what it is: a booty call.

I think you're right...I did text her once today, but she has yet to respond. It's really irritating that someone could act like this, but I'm just gonna have to move on. What a waste.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

I think you're right...I did text her once today, but she has yet to respond. It's really irritating that someone could act like this, but I'm just gonna have to move on. What a waste.

It is quite a waste, but like you said, moving on is best. Plus, you never know, after she gets over her last relationship she might contact you, anything is possible.

[BabyDick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BabyDick]

You're in such a typical situation. The minute you get over the thought of being with her she'll start calling. The less you respond the more she'll wanna see you and think of how big a mistake she made. typical girl ha