Never come to expect something from someone

[ronnierokk Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ronnierokk]

Never come to expect something from someone.

Because the moment you come to expect something is the moment they will let you down.
When you get something, enjoy it while it is given, and never rely on it to be given always.

Ex. If your girlfriend tells you I love you every day that you are together, and one day she doesn't tell you.

What would you think?

That she doesn't love you any more or something is wrong right?

But this may not always be the case. It maybe that her phone was off, or dead, are she didn't have a signal.
Or it could be that she got really busy at work and became really stressed and maybe she just forgot.
That's why it's important not to take anything for granted.

Here's another example
Ex. What if everyday at a certain time like her lunch break, she would text you to see how you are doing. And then one day she did not for some strange reason.

Would you automatically think something was wrong?

Would you jump the gun and start accusing her of things?

This sort of things happen all the time. This is why you must wait and find out latter what happened before you start thinking stupid shit.

She will tell you with out you asking.

And if she doesn't tell you ask her, if it's that big of a concern to you.

So the moral of this lesson is to never take anything for granted in anyone, because the moment you do, they will let you down.

That's why I believe in being sporadic or not doing things the same all the time. Saying I love you is important, but you don't have to tell someone everyday for them to know that you love them. If you do then that person has insecurities.

The same thing goes for doing things at the same time everyday.

Now I'm not talking about scheduling your life because some of are so busy we have to schedule it.

What I'm talking about is relationships stuff in our lives.

If we schedule the things we do and say everyday like that, it would get boring really fast.

It's good to be spontaneous and not do the same things over and over all the times.

Don't worry so much about the petty things and enjoy the small things in life that you share.

Ronnie Rokk

[DemOne Banned Find all posts View Profile Close DemOne]

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[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I think the OP's post is less about women, and more about life in general. I agree that expectations lead to disappointment. It also clouds your mind so that you can't really see what's in front of you, and also tends to create drama and stress.

Go into a situation without expectations. Free your mind, and let yourself open up to whatever might happen, with whomever it might happen. This is the way to happiness.

[BTBrian Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close BTBrian]

I think it's poorly worded but I get your point ronnie. Expectations are good to have (I expect myself to do well in school, I expect my gf not to cheat on me, I expect my friends to treat me with respect) I think that the emphasis should be on DON'T SWEAT THE LITTLE STUFF as in a text isn't really important in the overall scheme of things. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. Or, in a broader sense BE SECURE WITH YOURSELF this way little things won't make you question your relationships and whatnot. People who get worked up about tiny little things like your examples get that way because they are insecure (I know, I used to be that way)

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Here's an example of not to expect things from someone:
GROUP WORK IN SCHOOL

Oh and your roomates cleaning habits. Don't expect them to clean up after themselves but you can absolutely expect them to tell you to clean up after yourself.
I mean, hey, just because I leave pasta sauce on the side of the fridge and on the counter doesn't mean you should get all up in my grill. Why don't you guys just clean the kitty litter? It's being tracked all over the bathroom floor and apartment. Maybe I don't clean because I think you don't clean.

Whew. Glad I could get that off my chest you guys. I feel much better.

[IHaveAHugeNick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IHaveAHugeNick]

I take the time to tell my wife I love you and give her a kiss, every morning when she leaves for work. She does the same for me. We also take the time to say it on the phone. So, we don't just say it every day, we say it often every day. The words are just part of it. The main part of it, is to take the time. No matter how rushed we are in the morning or on the phone, we stop long enough to take a breath and appreciate each other. It does happen some times that we just don't say it (on the phone) but not often. No need to panic.

If you want to know if she loves you, it's not what she says or even how she says it. It's all in the actions. Actions have always spoken louder than words.

As for taking things for granted. Stands to reason if you start taking things for granted, your gf or wife will notice and be upset about it. With reason, since no one likes to be taken for granted. Just show her how much she means to you, as often as possible and trust me, she will do the same in turn.

Happy wife, happy life.

[somebodyelse Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close somebodyelse]

I take the time to tell my wife I love you and give her a kiss, every morning when she leaves for work. She does the same for me. We also take the time to say it on the phone. So, we don't just say it every day, we say it often every day. The words are just part of it. The main part of it, is to take the time. No matter how rushed we are in the morning or on the phone, we stop long enough to take a breath and appreciate each other. It does happen some times that we just don't say it (on the phone) but not often. No need to panic.

If you want to know if she loves you, it's not what she says or even how she says it. It's all in the actions. Actions have always spoken louder than words.

As for taking things for granted. Stands to reason if you start taking things for granted, your gf or wife will notice and be upset about it. With reason, since no one likes to be taken for granted. Just show her how much she means to you, as often as possible and trust me, she will do the same in turn.

Happy wife, happy life.

There is truth to the actions part, but you also have to have actions in relative terms.

If someone says that you should know they love you by the actions they take, and those actions aren't much more than you would do for someone else, that's a problem. You both have different levels of commitment to other people. Like say she would only do "this" for someone she loved, however you would do "this" for anybody you considered a close friend. If you have two different levels of "action-reaction" boundaries, you could be confused as to what actions she takes to mean she thinks you're more important than the next guy.

[IHaveAHugeNick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close IHaveAHugeNick]

There is truth to the actions part, but you also have to have actions in relative terms.

If someone says that you should know they love you by the actions they take, and those actions aren't much more than you would do for someone else, that's a problem. You both have different levels of commitment to other people. Like say she would only do "this" for someone she loved, however you would do "this" for anybody you considered a close friend. If you have two different levels of "action-reaction" boundaries, you could be confused as to what actions she takes to mean she thinks you're more important than the next guy.

One action taken in a vacuum does not always prove my point. But her many actions over many years pretty tells me she loves me. We are always doing things for each other, sometimes to the detriment of our own plans, but we do it because we care. That's what a guy needs to look at. It's the actions of the our gf/wives over a long period (and still ongoing) that will show you have much they care for you.

And we should be doing likewise so they don't feel like we're taking them for granted and more importantly, because we do love them and want to.

[ThirdArm Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ThirdArm]

“Freedom – to want nothing, to expect nothing, to depend on nothing.” Dominique Francon (The Fountainhead, 1949, Ayn Rand).

[KungFuJoe Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close KungFuJoe]

You know what else you shouldn't do? Take a piss with a hard on.

[Going411x7 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Going411x7]

The greater your expectations, the deeper the disappointment.

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

Prejudgements only find war; inquiring minds find answers.

[Hanma Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hanma]

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[TheSnitch Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close TheSnitch]

Expectations are hope with purpose. You should never lose that, nor compromise what it is you expect from people.

However, unrealistic expectations and unspoken expectations is generally what gets people in trouble. It's what causes the pain we feel in relationships, friendships and even our work life. We have to understand that people are people, not robots and as such are susceptible to change. As we are too.

If you can understand some fundamental aspects of humans, and let go of the whimsical ideas of what people are, you will have less unrealistic expectations and more understood expectations.

A very easy thing to say, a very hard thing to do.

[sdaddy Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close sdaddy]

The greater your expectations, the deeper the disappointment.

I totally agree. Yesterday, I told the woman that I am dating that I have no expectations of her seeing me exclusively. I am not going to set myself up for disappointment.

"A woman is a delicate creature at the best of times. They are moved by desires unknown by the man that place trust in them." -- Oenomaus