Is she interested?

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

There's this girl that I see almost every day. She's had a boyfriend or two since I met her, but then again, this is Job Corps. Relationships tend to be very ephemeral here because both the girls and guys here are dysfunctional for the most part. Anyway, I sat with her at lunch last week. Little did I know that her boyfriend was sitting at the next table. I even introduced myself to him! I found out later that he was her boyfriend. When I asked her later why neither she nor her boyfriend said anything to me, she said not to worry about it and that things weren't going so well between them and she wasn't sure they were going to last. Yesterday when she let me borrow a book, she said borrowing the book would cost me something; a hug now and a hug when I gave it back to her. I was happy to oblige of course. She is always very friendly with me to. I don't want to be too forward, but at the same time, I don't want to let her slip away if she is interested in me. Any ideas on how to proceed? Is she letting on in her own subtle way that she's interested?

I was going to let this thread die, but since people keep replying, I'll say that I gave up on this particular girl awhile ago. I appreciate the advice. She does seem to be something of an attention whore as others have observed.

[pterodactyl Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pterodactyl]

Yes she is and its not so subtle or she is trying to make homeboy jealous. If it is the latter stay the hell away!

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

She's Swedish, and y'all know the reputation Swedish chicks have

You know what the most annoying thing is in trying to pursue an attractive girl? You can never tell if any of the other guys fawning all over her are potential love interests. I saw her at dinner today with two other guys, and I'm pretty sure I saw her "boyfriend" with another chick. Maybe they broke up after all? I need to make a move of some kind that demonstrates to her that I'm not just interested (she knows I am already, I told her) but that I'm aggressively pursuing her.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I have some things to say, but first let me quote one of my friend's facebook status updates:

"If you want something, do not chase it. That which is chased will elude you. It must. How can you chase something that does not flee? Chasing something means that you know you do not have it. Chasing itself is the process of moving from knowing you do not have to knowing you do have. First, know that you have what you desire. Know that you deserve what you desire. Know that what you desire is already yours. Then, move to capture."

I'll post more later, but first wanted to show you this.

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

Qarzan, I look forward to hearing the rest!

What's even more frustrating is that although I have her number, I only have 9 minutes on my phone right now. I have two choices. Number one, I can burn those up (.5 min per text) texting her and asking her on a date, or I can conserve them so that the potential employers I've applied at will have a way to contact me. I won't have money for more minutes until next Monday ugh!

Here on center, there is a little ramshackle movie theatre that shows movies every week. I asked her last week if she wanted to go see a movie with me. She said yes. Then when she didn't show up, I texted and told her she was missing the movie. She said her boyfriend had made other plans. Then when I texted her today to ask if she wanted to watch another movie that was playing, she said she couldn't because she had homework to do. I don't think she is trying to avoid me otherwise she wouldn't have agreed initially. Now that it looks as if she and her boyfriend are no longer together, I'm itching to make a move of some sort. I goofed up on the movie. It isn't until tomorrow. I want to text and ask if she still wants to go with me tomorrow, but I've only got 9 minutes to last me the week. I sat with her at breakfast this morning and am hoping to see her at breakfast again tomorrow so I don't have to use minutes. It's better to speak face to face anyway.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Qarzan, I look forward to hearing the rest!

What's even more frustrating is that although I have her number, I only have 9 minutes on my phone right now. I have two choices. Number one, I can burn those up (.5 min per text) texting her and asking her on a date, or I can conserve them so that the potential employers I've applied at will have a way to contact me. I won't have money for more minutes until next Monday ugh!

Here on center, there is a little ramshackle movie theatre that shows movies every week. I asked her last week if she wanted to go see a movie with me. She said yes. Then when she didn't show up, I texted and told her she was missing the movie. She said her boyfriend had made other plans. Then when I texted her today to ask if she wanted to watch another movie that was playing, she said she couldn't because she had homework to do. I don't think she is trying to avoid me otherwise she wouldn't have agreed initially. Now that it looks as if she and her boyfriend are no longer together, I'm itching to make a move of some sort. I goofed up on the movie. It isn't until tomorrow. I want to text and ask if she still wants to go with me tomorrow, but I've only got 9 minutes to last me the week. I sat with her at breakfast this morning and am hoping to see her at breakfast again tomorrow so I don't have to use minutes. It's better to speak face to face anyway.

My opinion, on this matter: back off a bit. You tried, she deflected. Don't know whether it was intentional or not, nor does it really matter. The fact of the matter is that she didn't make time for you. Go about doing your own thing, maybe even go after a different woman to keep your mind off of this first one. If she really wants to start something with you, she'll contact you.

In terms of the breakfast thing, that seems like a much better way to get to know her and hang out with her. It also seems that's what she's comfortable with right now. Keep doing that, and if she wants to hang out more, she'll start dropping hints, like mentioning that she wants to see a certain movie, or wants to go hiking, ... something. Keep doing the breakfast thing and keep your eyes and ears open for the next opportunity.

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

Hmmm, okay. Sounds like a good idea. I'll just try to see her in the mornings to start with. It could be she's interested but doesn't want things to move too wuickly.

[Padawan787 Moderator ReservePEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Padawan787]

Asking a third time after being rejected twice would seem a bit desperate, let her make a move

[jdavid1990 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close jdavid1990]

Broooooooooooo, ya never get the hot hunnies by giving bare pressure. Let your eyes do the talking for a split second then go about your business! If it dont workout with that attitude another slammin hottie will come along!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Personally, I think she was just harmlessly flirting with you.........nothing more and nothing less. I would just keep going about your business (and leave your phone minutes for employers to call you!!) and if she's truly interested in you, you'll know sooner rather than later. Playing a little "hard to get" is a healthy thing for a guy to do..........it shows you're interested but at the same time, you've got a life to and aren't at anyone's beck and call............JMO.

[jdavid1990 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close jdavid1990]

Personally, I think she was just harmlessly flirting with you.........nothing more and nothing less. I would just keep going about your business (and leave your phone minutes for employers to call you!!) and if she's truly interested in you, you'll know sooner rather than later. Playing a little "hard to get" is a healthy thing for a guy to do..........it shows you're interested but at the same time, you've got a life to and aren't at anyone's beck and call............JMO.

Standard, some girls just like the attention too. IT DONT MEAN THEY PUTTING OUT BRO!

[MrBigDick Retired ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close MrBigDick]

Standard, some girls just like the attention too. IT DONT MEAN THEY PUTTING OUT BRO!

Who said anything about her "putting out"??? Yes, some girls do just like the attention but it sort of sucks for the guy that she's trying to get the attention from when he wants to go after her and she isn't really looking for anything more than attention............just sayin'......

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

Well when I got to breakfast this morning, she was already there and surrounded by a flock of guys. Typical. I'm going to take the advice given here and let things be and see what happens.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I had a conversation with one of my lady-friends. She said that guys are always vying for her attention, and she can tell when it changes from friendly to romantically interested. She said it's a turn-off when a man pays too much attention to her. In fact, she was pining over one man in particular. I asked what he did to get and keep her attention. She said it's because it seemed like he didn't care about her.

And there you have it.

[kelthuzad1986 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close kelthuzad1986]

*scoffs* Women! *shakes head*