Depression

[Donnatello Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Donnatello]

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[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Is this type of behavior something you can live with for 40 or 50 years because it won't get much better. She has a mental problem which is not easily cured.It doesn't mean she's a bad person but one that would be very hard to live with.

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

I agree that you need to decided whether you can handle this issue with her because it can be tough on your own psyche. Clearly she does need mental assistance which you (no pun intended) are not qualified medically to give her. Most depression comes from underlining issues from the past which have never been resolved or pushed in the back of the mind as if it never happened which in essence and in most cases causes chemical imbalance. What you can do is assure her of is that whatever happens you have her best interest in mind, so be very careful of how you put yourself to her in actions and in words.

Next, I pray she never finds out that you wrote about this here about her depression without her consent because she will take is as a breach of trust.

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

I've been dating a woman with depression for about 10 months now. She needs alone time. A lot of it. And her mood changes with very little warning. But when she's hot and horny, DAMN!

My advice, just like the previous posters, figure out if this is something you want or can deal with. Then be straight with her about what you discover about yourself.

For me, personally, I discovered that I love her and care about her, but she cannot fulfill all of my needs. I need someone more energetic, stable, emotionally supportive, all those other things. She knows she cannot provide those for me, and knows that I'd be better off with someone else. Still, I love her and care about her, and I'm not abandoning her. I've told her that I'm looking for someone else right now, and that I'll continue to provide comfort and support for her as long as I can, until the situation does not allow for it any more. I've moved into more of a "best friend" kind of mind set. And we have the occasional fuck.

I decided this not because it's what I felt I should do, but because it's what I wanted to do. I'm not saying your reaction should be the same as mine, but decide what exactly you want and what you're willing to do, and then communicate that. There's a huge risk that she'll be hurt, there's a huge risk that you'll be rejected or blamed, or somehow made into the bad guy. We all have to face that, but if we let that get in the way of doing what needs to be done, we'll just be living in a world of regret.

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

I always stay away from people who can't control their emotions.However great they are, if they can't control how they feel i wouldn't get into a serious relationship with them.

[Brooker Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brooker]

I always stay away from people who can't control their emotions.However great they are, if they can't control how they feel i wouldn't get into a serious relationship with them.

I believe you can train yourself to be more positive, more patient, more understanding etc and you can definitely change the way you react to your own feelings. But no one can truly control HOW they feel.

[thenewdude Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close thenewdude]

See that the thing about it, it really sometimes takes time to know. We are creatures are great at masquerading the truth but what we wear, how we talk only revealing enough so that we don't scare others away. This even applies in building a relationship, you really don't know how bad things may be in one's mind until further long (another reason not to be so quick to hop in the sack).

[Donnatello Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Donnatello]

For me it has come down to taking the bad with the good, I love this girl, and even when she's in a dark place I still love her, its just that I think when she's in that place the whole world go's dark and she forgets that she loves me. But the good times definitely make the bad times worth it.

Yay for unloading my personal problems to strangers!

Don

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

How do you think she'll respond as life gets tougher; bills, marriage, kids, etc?

[Donnatello Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Donnatello]

How do you think she'll respond as life gets tougher; bills, marriage, kids, etc?

Ah man, I'm probably to young to be thinking about such things, (I had to ask someone what a mortgage was the other day) but yeah I mean there's definitely things that will hit her hard. But I'm a pretty flawed individual myself (as are most), Ha I mean you never know , we might manage to keep each other on the right track to becoming a semblance of a functional human being

[Qarzan Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Qarzan]

Something my FWB (who suffers from depression) sent me. Very insightful, and really helped me feel at ease with being with her.

We Are Not Here to Fix Each Other. | elephant journal

Also the reason why we decided to back things up to FWB: I can't see myself being with her for the rest of my life.

[Donnatello Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Donnatello]

Something my FWB (who suffers from depression) sent me. Very insightful, and really helped me feel at ease with being with her.

We Are Not Here to Fix Each Other. | elephant journal

Also the reason why we divided to back things up to FWB: I can't see myself being with her for the rest of my life.

Thats awesome man, what a great article. Its true though, I can't fix her flaw (flaw not being the right word). But then again, she wouldn't be the girl I fell in love with if I did. Its pretty frustrating when you simply can't make someone happy, but just being there is enough I guess