Get A Hooker? Need Advice.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

Hey guys - got a problem. Detailed outlined below. Please provide serious answers and not 'just stick it in' ones as this is a sensitive topic for me. Thanks.

Im 23 and not had sex/a gf etc yet. I know quite a lot of people (attractive people). I don't feel pressured to have sex but I think there is something mentally wrong with me. I want to fix it while I'm still young otherwise I'm in for a big problem when older.

What happens is I see a hot woman. Chat to her. No problem in chatting. Once I know her name and a bit about her I'm not sexually interested anymore. At all. She's now in the 'you are my friend' category and I cannot ever imagine sleeping with her - infact I feel sick thinking about (similar feeling to you banging your sister). I really really try to remove that feeling but I just can't.

If I go the other way - ie try and get with her without knowing much info - then I want to know her name and something about her before sleeping with her - which leads to more conversation and even more conversation and then the above happens. My brain never let's me just go for it.

I'm good looking (most women give me at least 8/10), confident otherwise (conversation, attitude etc), and genuinely a nice guy. (Perhaps too nice. Lol) I'm perfectly fit and fine so there are no issues of why this should be happening as far as I can see. I've not got a bad past either - like rape or something - to push me off sex.

I hit the gym for months and built muscle hoping that would open me up a bit and help me mentally change. It definitely opened me up - I'm more relaxed generally - but it's had no impact on the sex/relationships department. Even when test levels are extremely high from a workout or something I am ok with just a wank. I am not addicted to porn which is causing a brainache - infact I watch it max 1-2 times a week ever since I joined the gym as I'm happier thinking of my own stuff.

Then I thought I may be gay and suppressing it. Sure fit male bodies can be attractive but not in the 'I want to sleep with you' way. Dicks are of no interest to me (sorry I guess that's inappropriate given this is PEgym lol) so I really don't think I'm gay. Then I thought I was asexual. Doubt that too as I like women and fantasise about banging women.

I tried a sex therapist too who said I just need to risk it and its good I'm thinking about it young - and then discharged me. Not really helpful tbh. I can only risk it is I still find someone attractive enough to sleep with. If I am thinking they are my sister or something then what am I supposed to do? They shrugged.

Does anyone have any ideas on how I can fix myself?

I spoke to a friend who said we should go to a (clean) hooker place and get it over with because perhaps its been so long (read: never) since I've experienced 'pussy' my brain has gone into some other mode. Idk though my first time with a hooker seems wrong but I don't know to get out of this vicious cycle. Years and years are going by and I'm just getting worse... Another suggestion was to get drunk and just sleep with anyone I find - well I don't drink because the taste is horrible (sorry to all those that do) and isn't a bar fuck the same as a hooker fuck without the payment? At least with a hooker you can pick someone attractive lol.

Last thing - before people say 'maybe you haven't let the right person' - maybe that's true. But trust me I meet a lot of attractive people - some have been really perfect - but mentally I haven't been 'ready' which is why it's broken down. So I reckon it's me rather then them...

Very confused. Any comments are appreciated.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

Sorry for the long post but thought I would include as many details as possible.

One thing I forgot to mention. I really know shit all about sex. Never even kissed anyone on the lips. So perhaps a hooker will teach me? Idk. Seems wrong though...

[frisson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frisson]

The answer to this is quite simple. Firstly, pardon any strange errors as I am using my phone to type this.

I suffered from something eerily similar in college after my first relationship came to a horrendous close. I withdrewfrom the wworld for three years and beat women off with a stick. I'm also somewhere around 8/10 as many people have approached me to model among other normative telltale signs. I believed myself to be completely asexual as well.

Let me tell you: your sex therapist was right. I somewhat don't believe your self-evaluation of your level of attractiveness because an 8, quite literally, has to wade through torrents of vaginal juices daily. Are you somewhat afraid of having friends because you worry they only want you for sexual purposes? That's an 8.

You're thinking too much and placing undo stress and anxiety upon your virginity. You just need to go for it with someone. You're afraid that it might lock you down, restrict you, or otherwise negatively affect your freedom. This is not true. You need to just go for it. That's what I did and it worked like a charm. I threw myself into the dating scene with full force and was able to, as repulsively base as this sounds, begin relationships with an 8 and, subsequently, a 10.

Just get out there and do it. If you're as handsome as you say you are, finding a lay, even no strings attached, should prove to take less than an hour or two. That said, if you believe this to be impossible, then I suggest you reevaluate who you are and how you see yourself. Best of luck, but holy shit do not purchase sex. Again, if you're an 8, sex should pretty much come to you. Although, if you're 5'8" and below, you should automatically deduct 1 or 2 points from your attractiveness scale. It's harsh, but it's true. On the flipside, shorter guys have an exponentially easier time of churning out an Adonisian physique. I'm 6'4"; getting ripped might take me six or seven months, someone below 5'10" even should be able to pull off the sane shredded physique in maybe 3 or 4 months while working half as hard.

Sorry that I rambled. Guys shorter than 6' who aren't absolutely shredded with below 12% body fat infuriate me.

[frisson Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close frisson]

Attempting to addend my post on this phone is nigh impossible so I'm just adding another response. I just noticed the kissing bit and how you've never made out with anyone. So you've never had any physically intimate contact with anyone? If you're really an 8,fins a close friend and just plainly ask for a makeout session for practice, she won't turn it down, but be careful of the repercussions.

This is all very clearly in your head.

Did you notice how often I tossed around the attractiveness numbers? Your post read similarly. I harped on it over and over for a reason: you're obsessed with yourself, your looks, the attractiveness of those around you, and, lastly but most importantly, this is causing you to have abnormally high standards. I was similar at one point. I had standards that even a god couldn't reach. I relaxed them and reevaluated myself, opening up to the world around me. My life bloomed. Your obsession borders on unhealthy compulsion. Relax.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

Thanks for the reply.

I’m 6’0 and my physique is good so no worries there.

The reason I put the 8/10 part was because I honestly thought I was not that good looking. I did/still would consider myself average looking. I wasn’t sure if that was the reason why I was unable to think beyond a friendship level. That’s why I asked a couple of women to ‘judge’ just to get someone else’s perception. I didn’t do it to boast and I still don’t think I’m an 8 but I just put it on the post to give a picture of everything I have tried.

I’m not sure what you mean by:
- has to wade through torrents of vaginal juices daily.
- as repulsively base as this sounds, begin relationships with an 8 and, subsequently, a 10.

‘That said, if you believe this to be impossible, then I suggest you reevaluate who you are and how you see yourself.’ I don’t get what you mean by this either. How do I do this?

You are correct, I have never been physically intimate with anyone. Max I’ve had is a kiss on the cheek from a family member lol.

Makeout with a friend? But I don’t see them in that way and I really really don’t want to kiss them or anything else. I can’t ‘force like’ them sexually. This is the problem. I know tonnes of people - but if they are my friend/I know them a bit I would never sleep with them. But then I feel very uncomfortable sleeping with a stranger too because its such an intimate thing. Weird - cant seem to crack how my brain is working and how to fix it.

(Btw I'm not that shallow to judge someone over how they look entirely. I don't go 'oh this woman's tits are not big enough so bye'.)

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I would not usually say this but maybe getting a hooker might be the best thing you could do, once you get laid your problems will most likely go away. Tell her you are a virgin and she should help you through it. whatever you do , don't ask her name.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

I would not usually say this but maybe getting a hooker might be the best thing you could do, once you get laid your problems will most likely go away. Tell her you are a virgin and she should help you through it. whatever you do , don't ask her name.

This is what I thought... once I pop then I may not stop. But atm I'm just stuck. But idk - a hooker - I don't want to regret it (sounding like a girl now lol).

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I am not saying that men dont have feelings or care about the first time, when I was young I wanted to have my first be with the gal I would marry, didnt work out that way but we did get married. We also got divorced. In your case you just need to sew your oats. Sometimes sex can just be sex and it will help. I think once you get some and see what you are missing even chickens may need to take cover.

Get a classy hooker, have some fun and it will help you.

[Dangler Senior Administrator☼ Wizard ☼ White Tiger Award 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Dangler]

If you can meet another who just wants a playmate, you could go from there. The conversation(s) prior to that developing are up to you.
Who knows, you might meet a girl, who wants to work her way through her inhibitions & such.
You just need to agree on some "rules", agreements, play-safe limits first.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

If you can meet another who just wants a playmate, you could go from there. The conversation(s) prior to that developing are up to you.
Who knows, you might meet a girl, who wants to work her way through her inhibitions & such.
You just need to agree on some "rules", agreements, play-safe limits first.

Yup I tried this - signed up to some 'sex dating' websites. But the same issue happens online ... end up talking to her, becoming friends etc. Trust me there were some very hot women I met (including a former escort lol). But I never went through with it. Idk whats wrong with me.

[TehDBare Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TehDBare]

I'm normally very understanding and tolerant of people's problems but you just sound like a bad wife who turned frigid. "I'm not in the mood", "I'm just not attracted to you anymore". You claim to not be interested in any girl physically but you don't even know what you aren't attracted to, you haven't even kissed a girl to know what the feeling is that you aren't interested in. Take one of your friends and just kiss her, tell her you've never kissed anyone and just want to try it. Stop making excuses, grow a pair and just do it. Once you've experienced it then you can legitimately decide if you aren't attracted to someone or not. It's like saying you don't like driving a car but you've never even ridden in one, how does one come to that conclusion?

Kiss someone. Pick up a random person in a bar and get laid. Form a base of experience to draw conclusions from.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

you don't even know what you aren't attracted to

I think this is very inaccurate.

And - as explained in the post - its like a 'kissing your sister' feeling. You would never do that.... so thats the mode my brain goes into. Idk why.

Also your advice doesn't really make sense. Have sex with a random stranger who you are not even remotely attracted to just to see how it feels? And then go actually nah I'm not attracted to you. Surely the attracted/not attracted thought should come before the sex?

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

I have never had a gf, I am virgin, I am 18 years old, I have never had a real conversation with a girl (only me and a girl) barley touched a girl.

I am socially awkward how can i fix it? (I am straight, (not gay)) around average looks inbetween 4-6 I think depending on the group I am in. We have kinda the same problems dude, just mine are worse, i don't drink i don't do drugs or anything of that.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

I have never had a gf, I am virgin, I am 18 years old, I have never had a real conversation with a girl (only me and a girl) barley touched a girl.

I am socially awkward how can i fix it? (I am straight, (not gay))

Is this sarcasm or are you genuine? If genuine.... start another thread?
If sarcasm - not needed and clearly you did not read my post.

[charles-perry Banned Find all posts View Profile Close charles-perry]

i have never had a gf, i am virgin, i am 18 years old, i have never had a real conversation with a girl (only me and a girl) barley touched a girl.

I am socially awkward how can i fix it? (i am straight, (not gay))

double post