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Well my girlfriend and I have been dating on and off for 3 years. I'm in my lower twenties. She was my first serious girlfriend and I fell in love with her fast! Our 1st months were great we were really happy. Then I started to look at porn again and I wouldn't give her the attention she needed and rarely kept it up in the bedroom because of my addiction. This caused a huge problem with us because she felt like it was her, when really it was my problem. About two years after that I broke up with her and started talking to another girl. I figured out the grass wasn't greener and I had amazing girl before. She took me back but it hasn't been the same since. She cheated on me earlier this year with one of her ex's and we broke up again. I got back together with her about 2 months ago but everyday is a battle. She says she really isn't happy anymore, but she said it's mainly with herself. She says she loves me and cares for me but she not in love with me. I'm really paranoid now which causes me to be on here back with everything and question the hell out of her no matter what and she says I suffocate her. I love her with all my heart and want her more than anything. What do I do to get the thoughts of what she did (even know I did the same thing earlier in our relationship) out of my head? And how do I get her to fall in love with me again and is it even possible?
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I tell her how beautiful she is every single day to help her with her insecurities. I try to be sweet and help out around the house and all that stuff. I'm really trying hard here guys. -
There are many fish in the sea; this relationship sounds shot on both parts. Time to move on!The world's still a toy if you just stay a boy!Comment
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I figured that's what I'd hear even though I didn't want to. I don't want it to be through though I want to fix it.Originally posted by CUSP82 View PostComment
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She said she isn't happy anymore, and she isn't in love with you anymore. That should be your answer right there. It's gone, bro. Time to move on.
It sucks, I know, but clinging to something that doesn't work is only going to hurt both of you.Starting (3/14/2011) = 5" x 4"
Current (7/16/2013) = 5.75" x 4.125"
Short-Term Goal = BPEL 6"
Long-Term Goal = 7.5" x 5.5"Comment
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Nono! I will go against all the others and say go for it! Start to do things for her. Don't just make it too noticable that you're fighting for her, but do it for love! Start with smaller things, and then move up to taking her out to dinner, and plan alot! GI say this by experience, that girls, they are halfway to orgasm if you just plan and think hard to do something for them (not everyone ofc)! Start making a playbook, start with day one, and plan for at least 30days forward! Go see her at work, buy something to her, say how much you love her.
This is very important
Find out your love languages. People have different love languages. There are atleast 5 different.
1. compliments
- This language is very common by women, but I've this one too.
- Can be about small things as clothes comments, and how beutiful you think she looks tod
2. Time with each other
-Take time togheter, this also includes when you are hanging togheter, you're not doing anything else like watching tv or facebook at same time
-Show that you can take time with her. This is also on of mine.
3. Gifts
-Some people like receiving gifts, and some think they are unnecessary. If your GF have this as language, and you think it's unnecessary, she'll think you dont love her.
-Can be as small as a homemade card, a flower or big things as a jewelry.
4. Favours
-Some are really into this. My dad have this as a language, as I can notice when my mom comes home, he did make the dinner, he cut the grass and did many things he didn't like, just to show her she loved him.
5. Phsyical touch
-This one is that a hug on a random place, hold hands when shopping and also sex. If this is the language and your sex is bad, you have to work hard to get it going. Try to spice it up and do like this man did. Had An Affair With My Wife
Gary Chapman has a good book about this named "The 5 Love Languages"
Here's a link for you to find out what language is yours. And also one to read about the love languages. If you don't bother the first part, at least do talk to her about the language, and find out what you and your GFs language is.
Hope you'll find a way out. Order the book, and if your GF have number 3, gifts as language, maybe consider buying a book for her?
This will take some time, but I can see that you're willing to fight for her. Also some rules to a good relationship is to listen, to have good conversations and to never hide anything from her.
Do it for her!!
PB“I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all i knew); Theirs names are What and Why and When And How And Where and Who.” - Rudyard KiplingComment
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@PanBird thanks for that I really needed to hear that. I'm a fighter and I don't like to give up on anything. Especially on the girl I love. I'll admit I was a terrible boyfriend in the beginning and I was always on my phone on Facebook, etc. I didn't help her out, or give her the attention she needed in the bedroom or even out of the bedroom. I was too focused on porn and would have rather pleasured myself to that than her. I can't give up on us, she didn't give up on us for so long until I pretty much mad her nonexistent...then all that happened, we broke up and it opened my eyes.
Now I'm working on my body, and now even my penis (for a week since I found this amazing site!) even though she said none of that stuff matters, it's what is inside. I'm trying to be better person overall. A better listener, say sweet things to her and trying to make her feel beautiful, and I think it will work if I really do fight for it and I'm going to!Comment
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Love is love, and trust is trust. Can you have one without the other? Most certainly. The only one that can make you trust her again, is her. Show her that you want to be able to trust her again through communication and doing things. Find out the real cause that made her cheat, if you dare, and learn from it. It's a two way street brother, so you both have to be committed and wanting the same thing, to keep that want alive.
My advice, if you really want to be with her, end the porn for good, because if you don't, you'll lose her.
Jack off in front of her, instead of in front of your computer.You never slow down, you never grow old!Comment
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OK HugeHawk, you fucked up (porn). So did she (infidelity). So everything is even Steven. Let by-gone be by-gones.
Google "how to make a girl fall in love with me" and you will get dozens and dozens of ideas. It takes a lot of work and commitment on your part, but if you are man enough and follow through with the suggestions, you will win a loving and beautiful woman who will want to satisfy her man/hero.
Good luck. I'm trying to do the same. It isn't easy, but well worth the effort. Oh yeah, get rid of that porn shit forever. It is pure relationship poison. You know it. Take care."with great EQ, comes great responsibility"Comment
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PanBird makes a great point, I highly recommend getting that book. If you are speaking the wrong love language to her then none of your efforts will have any impact, you are just wasting your time, money and opportunity. Learn what her love language is and you'll have a good chance of getting those feelings back.Start 12MAR'13
"Be nice to your penis, you should encourage it to grow, not force it to"
"Gains occur while balancing the fine line between undertraining and overtraining"
"Undertraining slows the gains, overtraining stops them"Comment
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Please find out you and your GF love language and later post it her, maybe we can help you with things you should do to her. As Jay said, stop the porn. There is a good thread about how to do it. AP-90 (Anti-porn). I would say that you don't have to, just have to do PE now, couse it takes a lot of time, and you're focusing on yourself. Now it's most important for you to get back togheter with her. Penis size doesn't matter if you can't share it with the one you love.Originally posted by HueGHawk View Post
GL bro!
“I keep six honest serving men (they taught me all i knew); Theirs names are What and Why and When And How And Where and Who.” - Rudyard KiplingComment
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I will say my ex tried fighting for me (after) I gave up. Any chance he had working things out with me went away when he was trying to force himself on me (figuratively speaking). He did a 180 and I ran the other way.
I will say that if you think you have a shot, go for it. You'll regret not trying at the very least. Just be patient and realize that things may be over.
Good Luck!Comment
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Fundamentals my friend. If you really do care for her as much as you say, you'll forgive here and move on.
Ditto for her.
Otherwise Cusp is right.
It is impossible to speak in such a way that you cannot be misunderstood.- K.Popper
Strength is the outcome of need, security sets a premium on feebleness.-Wells
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