When to tell her about virginity/sexual experience.

[GTG Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close GTG]

Hey guys,

I'm 21, and I've been dating a younger girl ( 19 ), for the past 3 or so months. We haven't been sexual, and I think that we soon will be.

Personally, I'm a virgin, and very inexperienced. She on the other hand lost her virginity at quite a young age, and I know has had at least 2 sexual partners, probably a fair number more. We haven't really discussed that, for obvious reasons, haha. She doesn't know my inexperienced nature. She once asked me if I was a virgin, due to my apparent "innocence" , and I said no, due to the fact that I didn't want that emotional pressure in the relationship at that time, as I know she has issues about her "lost innocence".

Besides that, I just haven't told her, because frankly a lot of our humour is based on my sexual bravado etc. There is a large element of arrogant, and fun sexual boasting on both our parts. Admitting my inexperience would kind of punch a hole in all that, although it does open up other opportunities for fun banter, I would prefer to do that just prior to doing the deed.

I was planning on telling her the night we have sex, which I'm assuming will be the first night she sleeps over post exams.

Sound good?

[averagedick Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close averagedick]

Honestly your thinking too much about this, so what you do is stop worrying and enjoy your first time. You like the rest of us have waited long enough for it. Were all as humans have an instinct for sex when youre both ready for sex it will come naturally. So the big worry is what if im not good? What if she realises im inexperienced? Well heres the answer who cares, you waited 21 years for this moment let it happen and enjoy every second. As weeks go by youll perform better shell enjoy it more as you get confidence you will too. The fact is after a month or two months youll have the skills youll have tried everything youve ever wanted to and youll have every right to be arrogant about your sexual performances. You go in confident youll show her a good time no matter how much or little experience you have. Take it slow and show her your the man and shell love every second.

[pawpaw6060 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close pawpaw6060]

I would not bring up past experiences etc and best to just relax and enjoy and take your time to make sure she enjoys it as well lots of foreplay if you want just before you have sex let her know she is your 1st if you want most likely she will be happy you saved yourself for her and dont be afraid to ask your partner what they like what turns them on etc

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

I would just be strait up with her like " hey pass the salt oh yeah Im a virgin"

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

I agree with NC! Try not to make a huge deal out of it. The way you present it should be the way she'll react.

[thomasthetankengine Member Find all posts View Profile Close thomasthetankengine]

Hey guys,

I'm 21, and I've been dating a younger girl ( 19 ), for the past 3 or so months. We haven't been sexual, and I think that we soon will be.

Personally, I'm a virgin, and very inexperienced. She on the other hand lost her virginity at quite a young age, and I know has had at least 2 sexual partners, probably a fair number more. We haven't really discussed that, for obvious reasons, haha. She doesn't know my inexperienced nature. She once asked me if I was a virgin, due to my apparent "innocence" , and I said no, due to the fact that I didn't want that emotional pressure in the relationship at that time, as I know she has issues about her "lost innocence".

Besides that, I just haven't told her, because frankly a lot of our humour is based on my sexual bravado etc. There is a large element of arrogant, and fun sexual boasting on both our parts. Admitting my inexperience would kind of punch a hole in all that, although it does open up other opportunities for fun banter, I would prefer to do that just prior to doing the deed.

I was planning on telling her the night we have sex, which I'm assuming will be the first night she sleeps over post exams.

Sound good?

Just make sure you wait until AFTER you have sex to tell her.

Read this for why:

It Happened To Me: I Ended Up In Bed With A 27-Year-Old Virgin | xoJane

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. What makes the situation a little difficult is that you have already told her that you are not a virgin. If you tell her right before hand, it may make her nervous or even mad that you lied to her. If you tell her right afterword, it may also make had mad because she might have done things differently had she known.

I would suggest saying that you were waiting for her the next time it is brought up. She will think that you are sweet, and then she will know how much you care for her. You guys can still go back and forth once she knows.

I would also suggest masturbating before hand (if you know it's going to happen in advance) that way you don't have to worry about finishing too soon and you can relax and enjoy it more.

Don't over think it and have fun. After all, that's what sex is about. Having fun with the person that you care about.

Good luck. =)

[oldbri Member Find all posts View Profile Close oldbri]

Bad, always base a relationship on truth, especially at the beginning, I don't think she will dump you after all she's waited the same as you have. Ill bet that she's not as experienced as you think, she may even be pulling the wool over your eyes: afraid that you would not be interested if you knew she was inexperienced and maybe also a virgin, If she did as she says lose her virginity early, she may still not be mature enough to handle a serious relationship, that's what your contemplating not casual sex. The very fact that you have to ask advice should tell you something. Think it over very carefully, and learn to talk before taking things further.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

If you tell her right afterword, it may also make had mad because she might have done things differently had she known.

Please explain this further

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

Please explain this further

She could have been a little more considerate about it being his first time. By going slower or showing him more understanding for his lack of experience. A girl wants their first time to be special as I imagine guys do as well.

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin. What makes the situation a little difficult is that you have already told her that you are not a virgin. If you tell her right before hand, it may make her nervous or even mad that you lied to her. If you tell her right afterword, it may also make had mad because she might have done things differently had she known.

Some people may use it for humiliation purposes that is why a lot of guys lie about it.

[NCGUY1972 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close NCGUY1972]

did you tell her? how did it go?

[NewbieToPE2013 Member Find all posts View Profile Close NewbieToPE2013]

did you tell her? how did it go?

Wondered how it went as well...

[tpns Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close tpns]

I guess they are enjoying it no matter who said what