Things in common with your partner.

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?

We met in High School and became very close very fast. We had a lot in common and what we didn't we supported even if we weren't interested. Almost 19 years later, we are still like that and it works for us.

2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?

It is important to have things in common with your spouse. However, you don't have to have everything in common. You just need enough to have fun and have things to talk about.
It's nice to have someone that likes the same things that you do. But, it's also nice to be able to do things on your own or with someone else.

3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Unless you want to be in a relationship with a stranger, I don't feel that it would work out in the end. How would the relationship work if a guy likes watching football all weekend and the girl hates sports? Or, if the girl likes watching horror shows/movies and the guy doesn't like them? Or if one likes to go out all of the time and party while the other hates going out? What would the conversations be about? What would happen on dates? How would both parties feel complete if they can't share what they love with the person they are with?

[Robberman Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Robberman]

Thanks everyone, doesn't look like she is the girl for me but for another reason, I don't miss her when we're apart.

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

Great post TPW. I think that this point was overlooked in most of the other responses, what is he referring to as the differences between them. Like some things may be insurmountable for some individuals, and for others it could just be an insignificant detail. Just for my own example, I would have had a lot of interests in common with an ex but we were such totally different people when it came to personality, sex, attitude, emotions, and outlook on life. We were really not meant to be together. My girlfriend at the moment is very different to me in relation to interests, she would like reality tv rubbish while I am more interested in different and what she would find weird interests. But we are so so similar when it comes to personality, love, sex, and emotions. We really "get" each other. So despite the fact that we have no similarities in hobbies etc, and we are quite different people, we really gel because we are so similar in so many of the important things in a relationship. But you seemed to figure out she wasn't the one for you, so I don't know why I am still rambling here. I better shut up now. Good luck

Hey Robberman,

It really depends on what you don't have in common. Is it your core values and beliefs? Your hobbies and social interests? Your political/religious/cultural views? Your sexual preferences/relationship perspectives? Your personalities? While some differences are far easier to accept and assimilate, there are others that won't be so easy to resolve and will likely cause problems within the relationship later on.

Having said that, I do not think it is essential for the success of a relationship that couples have EVERYTHING in common; in fact, many relationships not only survive but thrive when couples have different interests because it can lend a continuous air of mystery and adventure to the relationship; which is always a plus.

Keep in mind that many differences can be resolved with compromise and time but only you and your girl will be able to determine that.

Good Luck.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

It really takes time to learn about each other. It's hard to remember that in the beginning you are noticing and cementing the common things. Later is when the differences really show up. The scares of past life etc and how that effects current life.

I have scares and have screwed up yet again and lost of new relationship.

I hope I will learn from it. I keep leaving victims out there and is heart breaking I'm responsible.

If you know core issues are different do everyone a favor and don't pursue. Why can't I learn this lesson !!!

Better luck next time Landi.

[MrsDonjelqer76 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close MrsDonjelqer76]

I'm currently in the middle of an internal battle, I'm involved with a girl and the affection side is great but I have this thought in the back of my mind where I don't think we have much in common and it's bothering me more and more.

So, I have a few questions:
1) When you met your partner did you have a lot in common?
2) How important is having things in common in a relationship?
3) Can a relationship ever exist with a completely different person?

Any other opinions on the subject would be greatly appreciated

I haven't read through all of the responses, but wanted to chime in with my 2 cents.

1) I wouldn't say we had a lot in common, but we had enough to pursue a relationship, which resulted in marriage.

2) In my opinion, I think it's important to have some things in common. I wouldn't want to have everything in common with my husband. I like that we have differences and different opinions on things. It keeps things interesting.

3) Yes, it absolutely can. It just depends on what the differences are. Some things can't be overcome or accepted by others. My husband and I are different, but I love it that way. I learn something new almost daily from my husband. I like to think that he regularly learns something new from me as well. If we don't agree on something, we can either compromise or agree to disagree. We don't need to agree on everything. It makes for healthy debates too.

[longrodten Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close longrodten]

my wife and I had sex before we even said a whole sentence to each other. We moved in together immediately, I did things she liked she did thinks I liked but we are opposite in everything. That was 17 years ago and we have a great marriage. just goes to show a successful relationship can be built off great sex

It's true. If you guys take care of your gender responsibilities and have a great sexlife you cherish, you can be opposites in your interests and things will be fine.