Getting over your ex.

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

I appreciate the efforts .. But I don't think anyone gives a crap about some dude who's heart is broken .. You know ..

What I actually wanted to say is that I never felt so lonely in my life as since the break-up .. I have my friends and I make fun .. But It's just empty without the one you love ..

Let me tell you this - If you can recover on your OWN from this, life's mysteries will be made clear.

It took me 3 years.But i was wayy younger.

I'll help you out.

1 Accept what you have done.Forgive yourself.

2 Just like you will never have any like her, she will not have any like you.She may fuck all she wants...but why is she still baiting you? Think.

3 Your life is worth more than the world, and everyone and everything in it.Take care of yourself.

4 You may or may not meet someone like her or better or worse...but remember - The more you think of what happened, the more you CANNOT CHANGE what WILL happen.

5 When you have really overcome, you will be at peace.

The how, the why, the when....that only you can decide.

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

All of this just made me very bitter towards people and their emotions ..

In the end nobody gives a shit .. She knew she would hurt me like hell by losing her virginity with that other guy, but she didn't gave one shit ..

Everybody is so egoistic.

Girls can be such dramaqueens too .. So irrational. I dated this Spanish chick this summer. It went well although I was still with my thoughts with my ex ..

After one month she suddenly asked me "are you going with me towards my brother's wedding party?" .. I never met her parents or her brother .. So I said no, I think we're going too fast .. She started crying and told me she would find someone else who really likes her ..

It just blows my mind how fucked up egoistic people are .. It makes me so angry. I don't want to give one cent to a charity event or something like that .. I'm like "you wouldn't give a fuck if I were here starving to dead" .. That's just the way people are ..

Spermy, it's ironic you're all up in arms about people not giving a shit when it was *you* not giving a shit that got you here in the first place.
You had two years to have sex but you let your insecurities get the best of you. Two years she stuck around, man. Think about that. That's not her - that's *you*
Everybody is so egoistic? Isn't your ego what caused you to make out with other girls while you were with your girlfriend? I remember you asking a lot of PUA-related questions while you were dating this girl. Don't worry about other people's ego. You have your own to consider.

And now you're upset that she's not holding you through your times of turmoil.
I'm sorry to say this and I mean it with all respect, but you have some growing up to do, Sperminator.

There's only so much "caring" that a person can give you. Ultimately, you have to care for yourself. That doesn't mean to the exclusion of all others. You just can't expect people to pick you up, dust you off, give you all of life's answers, give you emotional fortitude... These are all things *you* gotta do.
You're not caring for yourself when you go out to the same clubs or parties she's at. You're not caring for yourself when you're texting her constantly.
Take my advice - get your mind off of her by doing something different. Learn how to overcome your insecurities. If you need help with that, people here can point you in the right direction.

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

I seem to have a sense of Deja Vu....did you post a similar thread some time ago?

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

I seem to have a sense of Deja Vu....did you post a similar thread some time ago?

yes he did

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

So let me get this equation correct.

Sperminator=good to GF=and gf don't give a shit. =NOT ACCEPTABLE
PE Gym=good to Sperminator=and Sperminator don't give a shit. =NOT ACCEPTABLE

Is it 3 oclock yet,,,,,,,,I need a pineapple shoved up my butt!! (courtesy Little Nicky)

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Strange..i could swear i have read this before...the break up, the exams, the party etc etc....when i was reading i kept checking the time stamp to make sure i was not reading an old thread.

[Thenewguy2 Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thenewguy2]

Ok dude, as I see it you just have to give up on her. The fact that she has moved on and you haven't that tells me a lot. The fact that you see her once a week is not going to help either. Delete her from facebook, delete her phone number, delete every contact with her don't go where you know she will be. If neither of this works, and it's as bad as you claim it to be, then you may wanna consider moving.

Spend your time on other things, stop thinking, go do fun stuff, hit on other girls, study and so on. Usage of free-time is the KEY here, don't let your thoughts wander, you need to stop it. You said you defeated other adiccitions before such as smoking? Well that how you do it. Meet other people, meet other girls, it will help you forget.

Also... I read that you don't like the fact that she was fucked by another man and so on? Is it just because it's the girl of your dreams and you pretty much "witnessed" when she got fucked by another man for the first time? Or do you think this is for every girl you meet? Because I can tell you right now that there's a 99% chance that a girl you see or meet has had tons of dicks in their mouth / vagina. If it's a problem with every girl I think it's a psycholgical problem, and you need to change your mind set. Because it's not supposed to be like that.

I saw that you wrote something about suicide and that you understand that people can kill because of things like that.. These are thoughts you have to delete, spend your free time differently, don't go into deep thoughts, because with everything, if you go into deep thoughts you will think like that and that is not good... I mean I can say that life is extremely boring in general and say that I understand why people commit suicide because sleep is in some cases better than being awake... Just don't think like this.

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

Let me tell you this - If you can recover on your OWN from this, life's mysteries will be made clear.

It took me 3 years.But i was wayy younger.

I'll help you out.

1 Accept what you have done.Forgive yourself.

2 Just like you will never have any like her, she will not have any like you.She may fuck all she wants...but why is she still baiting you? Think.

3 Your life is worth more than the world, and everyone and everything in it.Take care of yourself.

4 You may or may not meet someone like her or better or worse...but remember - The more you think of what happened, the more you CANNOT CHANGE what WILL happen.

5 When you have really overcome, you will be at peace.

The how, the why, the when....that only you can decide.

Well about the baiting. I'm pretty sure she will never meet another guy who tried to get her back that bad after a break-up -.- ... I can tell you that ..

+ If she keeps baiting, why can't she see that there's still some feelings from her for me? Or do I get that baiting part wrong? Is she just busting my balls and seeing how far she can take me into depression etc.?

Sorry guys to bring back some dead horses (or how do you say that in English) .. It helps to write it off. The fact is I always had a good friend who I could talk to about anything, but he was also in love with this girl, while I was still with her. So I can't talk to him you know .. I have my friends to go out and party, but the break-up, as someone said before I need to handle that on my own. And the way I keep thinking about anything, asking questions about anything, analyzing everything .. I can't help it.

And ofcourse everybody tells me just let it go, but it's easier said than done ofcourse.

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

Spermy, it's ironic you're all up in arms about people not giving a shit when it was *you* not giving a shit that got you here in the first place.
You had two years to have sex but you let your insecurities get the best of you. Two years she stuck around, man. Think about that. That's not her - that's *you*
Everybody is so egoistic? Isn't your ego what caused you to make out with other girls while you were with your girlfriend? I remember you asking a lot of PUA-related questions while you were dating this girl. Don't worry about other people's ego. You have your own to consider.

And now you're upset that she's not holding you through your times of turmoil.
I'm sorry to say this and I mean it with all respect, but you have some growing up to do, Sperminator.

There's only so much "caring" that a person can give you. Ultimately, you have to care for yourself. That doesn't mean to the exclusion of all others. You just can't expect people to pick you up, dust you off, give you all of life's answers, give you emotional fortitude... These are all things *you* gotta do.
You're not caring for yourself when you go out to the same clubs or parties she's at. You're not caring for yourself when you're texting her constantly.
Take my advice - get your mind off of her by doing something different. Learn how to overcome your insecurities. If you need help with that, people here can point you in the right direction.

That's true. Back then I really didn't know what a gem I had in my hands. In that time I meet other chicks .. And wow, it's hard to find a woman (at my age) where you can have a normal conversation with about anything.

The last 6 months that we've been together I started to realize what a great girl she is .. And I am genuinely happy for her now that she is happy (I guess) .. I care a lot about her ..

Everytime I contacted her she told me things like "yeah things aren't going that well at the moment .. My grandmother is dying, my grades at school aren't that good, my mom cheated on my dad, etc." .. And then I'm like: damn, if I could just be there for her like in the old days .. We were physically attracted to each other a lot, but we could also talk with each other ..

All other chicks I ever met were just physically attracted.

Like I said in the beginning it's all my fault .. But I forgave myself already because she could definetly tell the last few months that I really love her. And she respects that. But she can't go back to the ways it used to be she tells me .. And then you have the whole "but I can change"-part etc .. That bullshit from my side that I really use as a last hope.

But after a few weeks of not contacting her I can just feel her gazing at me .. I don't know. It gives me hope in a way but it shouldn't give me hope .. She probably just wants to be friends.

We get these discussions like "yeah but my current boyfriend doesn't want me to text him constantly and that's fine by me .. I'm not a texting girl either .. ". (I used to text her a lot back then) .. And then I tell her "oh, so you think I texted you way too much .. Sorry if that is a sign of me wanting to be with you" .. And then she says stuff like: no, I liked it that you texted me so much ..

She's so contradicting at times .. I know I went for a drink with her when she was still with that dude. We had a great time. We didn't argue. We just talked and laughed. After the drink I gave her a hug and we splitted. I texted her later that evening "we should do this again" .. "Yeah, maybe we should" .. She texted back.

But when I ask her a few weeks later if she would like to go for a drink then I get stuff like "I don't know. Don't expect anything of it blabla" .. And eventually we don't go.

I went a couple of times to her house to just talk. We go for a walk with her dog. And we just talk, we don't argue. It's pretty cool. I can even touch her etc.. Like I make jokes like "wait there's a bug on your ass" .. And I wipe her ass (my stupid humor) .. And then she'll be like "there really wasn't a bug on my ass was there?" .. and we laugh .. So goofy.

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

It's also the first time in my life that I feel intimitated by that other dude. He's taller than me, but not stronger or bigger in terms of muscle than me .. (not that it matters) .. But just the fact that he's taller than me gives me a feeling of fuck, he's just tall and girls love that ..

I don't have that confidence anymore as I used to have. He's also that guy who really doesn't give a crap about anything. Nobody likes him except his closest friends. He's also a huge playboy. And me, wanting to be the superhero or something like that, always warned my ex like "that guy is even worse than me you know" ..

(He really is. A girlfriend of mine once was with this guy and he was also with 2 other girls at the same time. Even his own brother told his friends that he feels sorry for the girls that are together with his brother.)

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

And perhaps the biggest obstacle .. The best friend of my ex is together with the brother of the guy she's with now.

So they do everything together .. double date to the cinema's etc. That sucks so fucking bad. When my ex is in doubt about this guy. Her best friend probably defends this dude because she's with the brother of him.

[howardhughes Member Find all posts View Profile Close howardhughes]

Hey Sperminator,

We've screwed up in plenty of ways, and we've been screwed over many too. I find things to be a lot better when I can let myself focus on positives, and let negative memories sink away. You can't dwell too much on being ashamed. It really won't make anything better for you, as much as it seems like it might sometimes.

On Warren Buffet:
"Warren never dwelled on anything unpleasant. He came to think of his memory as functioning like a bathtub. The tub filled with ideas and experiences and matters that interested him. When he had no more use for the information, whoosh – the plug popped up, and the memory drained away. Painful memories were the first to be flushed, along with anything that might detract him from his goal: to become a millionaire."

This method has been very helpful for me if you care to try it out, though I must admit I don't care much about being a millionaire haha

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

Napolean Hill, Anthony Robbins, Dov Baron, and a whole slew of other people say the same thing^

[TheSperminator Member of the Month Oct 12 Find all posts View Profile Close TheSperminator]

Napolean Hill, Anthony Robbins, Dov Baron, and a whole slew of other people say the same thing^

But those are guys who want to become succesfull in business am I right?

[Toadstool Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Toadstool]

But those are guys who want to become succesfull in business am I right?

Success in anything follows the same mental pattern. Whether it's with dating and relationships, getting a promotion, building your own business. It all starts with *you*