Losing Your Virginity: the 411

[TPW Senior Member Member of the Month Oct 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close TPW]

Is there an appropriate age for when being a virgin is a problem? Sure each person will find it acceptable or unacceptable depending on their outlook on life, but I have to imagine each person has their own limit when it comes to something like this.

Well Dontrike...I think you just answered your own question.

[Dontrike Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Dontrike]

Well Dontrike...I think you just answered your own question.

I suppose that I did, then I guess my next question would be, can you blame someone for being bothered by the fact that their virginity is still intact? For those that are virgins they get to see/hear/read about plenty of people that enjoy sex, how great it is, how it brings two (or more) individuals closer in a way that it can do everything from destroy someones psyche (from learning about someone cheating) to creating life. It doesn't surprise me that virgins are uncomfortable with the fact that they haven't experienced such an amazing thing, not to mention other factors that they may have that irks them when it comes to their V-card.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

This is how I thought at 18 'it should happen this year but as long as I do it before I turn 20 and I'm still a teenager, then that is acceptable'.

Sure let 18 year old me down a lot...lol.

The big reason I worry these days is because guys start to not have as good libido as they once had when they get to 30 and onwards (earlier for some) so I'll feel pretty angry if I start having those problems or even P.E or something like that, I'll be angry that I wasted so many years.

I think losing your virginity is something I'd say you should try to get rid off in your mid-late teenage years, it just becomes really awkward as you get older.

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I think losing your virginity is something I'd say you should try to get rid off in your mid-late teenage years, it just becomes really awkward as you get older.

Its not an illness nor a disease, and definitely not a shame, for some its a choice, for others its not, but for all, its nothing to be ashamed of, if you are not happy about it, try to work on why you are virgin, improve yourself, gain confidence, try to get in a relationship, ladies don't bite, and they are human (the good kind of human) like you, they too want relationships, love, and stability, broaden your horizons.

Anyway, this debate has taken too long, and its not the intent of the thread, which is to educate virgin males and give them knowledge they need to have a good first experience and avoid mishaps, more importantly to know how to avoid making it a bad first experience for the lady if its her first time, so its more of an information thread than why and when to lose your virginity thread, stay positive guys, stay positive please, don' be too harsh on yourselves or on others.

[The Next Big Thing Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close The Next Big Thing]

You know, I have an issue. Im 20 years old also a virgin. And I feel eventually Im gonna find a girlfriend soon because theres a lot of beautiful women around me at university etc...but at this age. Lot of them are already experienced. I feel really strange when I think how my first time may be because I may be with some experienced girl. I dont want to mess up, since she will know what to do, she will also know what I do wrong. I will for sure look bad and inexperienced ... but what should I do? Should I let her hold my hand and do everything she tells me like a kid or what?

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

your horizons.

Anyway, this debate has taken too long, and its not the intent of the thread, which is to educate virgin males and give them knowledge they need to have a good first experience and avoid mishaps,

mishaps need to happen other wise one can't learn from their mistakes.



only two ways it can get messed up

A. You cream your pants
B. you put it in the wrong hole i.e butt..

I suppose that I did, then I guess my next question would be, can you blame someone for being bothered by the fact that their virginity is still intact? For those that are virgins they get to see/hear/read about plenty of people that enjoy sex, how great it is, how it brings two (or more) individuals closer in a way that it can do everything from destroy someones psyche (from learning about someone cheating) to creating life. It doesn't surprise me that virgins are uncomfortable with the fact that they haven't experienced such an amazing thing, not to mention other factors that they may have that irks them when it comes to their V-card.

the biggest issue is be harassed ()about being a virgin IRL. the other problem people treat you like a overgrown kid if they find out.

[AlpineNewt Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close AlpineNewt]

Just enjoy yourself, enjoy her body and try to pay attention to her responses. Stop thinking about sex as a performance, you're not a trained sealion, it's two people with no clothes on having naughty fun.

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

I think a big problem in regards to being a virgin male (regardless of age, but it gets worse as you get older) is knowing most girls won't have the same problem, lets say for instance I'm an average looking male with an average personality (which is what I am at the very least, I get told I'm better than that), it really doesn't mean much yet if you're a female with those 2 things, you're still probably going to have sex if you really want to, some guy will chat you up.

Also as you get older, you feel more of a loser and that you're not a real 'man' or 'adult', considering most girls you'll go for will have at least a few years experience (most girls lose it between 16 and 18) and you get jealous of that also. I suppose the biggest thing is you can't make up for lost time.

The last point is whether to tell the girl you're a virgin or not, if you don't tell her, you'll get really nervous and anxious and if you tell her she'll probably get really nervous and anxious and might want to delay/end it before it starts. Double edged sword.

Girls have the luxury (somewhat) of choosing whether or not to have sex, guys usually don't.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

I think a big problem in regards to being a virgin male (regardless of age, but it gets worse as you get older) is knowing most girls won't have the same problem, lets say for instance I'm an average looking male with an average personality (which is what I am at the very least, I get told I'm better than that), it really doesn't mean much yet if you're a female with those 2 things, you're still probably going to have sex if you really want to, some guy will chat you up.

(1)Also as you get older, you feel more of a loser and that you're not a real 'man' or 'adult', considering most girls you'll go for will have at least a few years experience (most girls lose it between 16 and 18) and you get jealous of that also. I suppose the biggest thing is you can't make up for lost time.

(2)The last point is whether to tell the girl you're a virgin or not, if you don't tell her, you'll get really nervous and anxious and if you tell her she'll probably get really nervous and anxious and might want to delay/end it before it starts. Double edged sword.

(3)Girls have the luxury (somewhat) of choosing whether or not to have sex, guys usually don't.

Blue numbering is mine

I disagree.

1. Why does being a virgin make one a loser?

2. Again, not every lady would turn you down because of your virginity, it has been stated more than once on this thread, as a first hand real life experience by more than one member.

3. Also not true, ladies do suffer from social and peer pressure too, even more than males.

Just enjoy yourself, enjoy her body and try to pay attention to her responses. Stop thinking about sex as a performance, you're not a trained sealion, it's two people with no clothes on having naughty fun.

[ryansambas Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close ryansambas]

I think the main reason for me thinking I'm a loser is because you know most people are (or have had) quite a lot of sex that are around your age (and younger) and you just want to have a lot of sex too. Now, what does annoy me is when people say you're just wanting it because everyone else is...no, I see attractive girls and I want to have sex with them because I want to have sex with them. I want to have sex purely because I want sex. No different to people who are sexually active who want to have sex. It annoys me to think about most people having sex, but it's annoying when most people are doing things you want to do...e.g. I haven't got a car yet most people have so they can go wherever they want, I don't just want a car because everyone else does, I want to go places too.

We live in a world where being a 20+ virgin is uncommon and I can see why, if I could go back in time I'd start trying to have sex at 16, 17, 18 etc.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Guys overstate how much sex they have ,so I would not put much credence in most teen guys getung lots of sex.

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

I think the main reason for me thinking I'm a loser is because you know most people are (or have had) quite a lot of sex that are around your age (and younger) and you just want to have a lot of sex too. Now, what does annoy me is when people say you're just wanting it because everyone else is...no, I see attractive girls and I want to have sex with them because I want to have sex with them. I want to have sex purely because I want sex. No different to people who are sexually active who want to have sex. It annoys me to think about most people having sex, but it's annoying when most people are doing things you want to do...e.g. I haven't got a car yet most people have so they can go wherever they want, I don't just want a car because everyone else does, I want to go places too.

We live in a world where being a 20+ virgin is uncommon and I can see why, if I could go back in time I'd start trying to have sex at 16, 17, 18 etc.

So why don't you?
Whats holding you back?

[anonymity Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close anonymity]

Hey ryansambas,

I understand that you are currently pretty preoccupied with losing your virginity as your various threads have indicated, but this particular thread is more of a "how to" rather than another place to lament and get down on yourself for being a virgin. I hope you can appreciate and respect the purpose of this thread. Thanks.

perhaps we need a reminder? Aren't there other threads for complaining? I thought the purpose of this one was to be positive and informative?

[not2big Senior Super ModeratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close not2big]

If you are a virgin into your mid twenties for non religious reasons it is most likely due to a psychological issue in your personality. It is easy to say "why dont you go for it." However, if you have always been naturally shy and have always found it hard to interact socially with "strangers", it is extremely difficult to all of a sudden "go for it." It takes time (often years) just to build up your confidence just to introduce yourself to a new person of the opposite sex not to mention get romantically involved.

I believe it is a psychological defect and people suffering from it should probably be referred to a specialist to overcome the defect in order to avoid years and years of sexual deprivation and frustration. I do not intend to demean people with this defect because I am bassing my opinion on personal experience. When I was in highschool, it took me days to work up the courage to invite a girl I liked to a dance. Imagine how long it would have taken me to ask a girl to go to bed with me - took me years and years for me to accomplish that.

I believe psychological treatment would have made life more enjoyable.

[Thick_Unit Banned Find all posts View Profile Close Thick_Unit]

If you are a virgin into your mid twenties for non religious reasons it is most likely due to a psychological issue in your personality. It is easy to say "why dont you go for it." However, if you have always been naturally shy and have always found it hard to interact socially with "strangers", it is extremely difficult to all of a sudden "go for it." It takes time (often years) just to build up your confidence just to introduce yourself to a new person of the opposite sex not to mention get romantically involved.

I believe it is a psychological defect and people suffering from it should probably be referred to a specialist to overcome the defect in order to avoid years and years of sexual deprivation and frustration. I do not intend to demean people with this defect because I am bassing my opinion on personal experience. When I was in highschool, it took me days to work up the courage to invite a girl I liked to a dance. Imagine how long it would have taken me to ask a girl to go to bed with me - took me years and years for me to accomplish that.

I believe psychological treatment would have made life more enjoyable.

psychologically tortured by my mom when I was a kid/teen.. explains it for me.........

[mcpecker Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close mcpecker]

I was a virgin until 21. Lost it to my wife. We were in college; she lived at home and her parents were at work. I lasted longer that I thought I would (around 6 minutes), mostly due to the condom eliminating much of the eroticism of the moment. Felt good, though.

We ended up having sex 4 times within the span of about 2 hours, then we went to eat Chinese food. It was a great day. Ah, the newness of sex (and to be 21 again...)