Performance anxiety and more

[must get big Member Find all posts View Profile Close must get big]

The members of pegym all seem to be wise, caring, and insightful so i am coming here for advice. I will try and give a relatively short cliff note of my situation and insecurities.

Essentially, I want to break up with my current girlfriend. We are both 18 and in highschool. She is nice and pretty and there is nothing wrong with her (except that she can suffocate me at times). I'm not sure I started going out with her for the right reasons. I have never had a girlfriend before and I wanted to prove to myself that I could have a long term relationship. The big issues in the relationship are
one)
i am very worried that when she goes to blow me I won't be erect/won't be able to maintain an erection. previously, after kissing and feeling her up for a while she has worked her hands under my pants reaching for my dick. In these instances i have shifted my body away from her to avoid her reaching her further.
two)
Ever since I started thinking about breaking up spending time with her has become unenjoyable.
three)
there is very little communication either way. I need to work on this. She can be passive aggressive at times and I can be just plain unresponsive like a brick wall.

I know I sound like a spoiled brat but i would really appreciate any advice you have on how to overcome this anxiety and anything else you have to offer.

P.S. i have no trouble getting erect without porn. I quit three months ago

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

I am sorry to hear about your insecurities. While porn may have started the issues, I believe that it's more of your feelings towards her now that are causing the issues.

How can your penis be excited around her when your brain is thinking about calling it quits?

You need to figure out what makes you happy. If breaking up with her will make you happy then do it. The longer you wait, the harder it will be on both of you.

Once you find someone who you are comfortable with, try it again. Don't think of anything else but having fun and enjoying yourself. The worse thing you can do it over think the situation. Do what comes natural to you.

In the mean time, work on yourself (communication) and whatever else you feel you need to in order to be a better boyfriend for the next girl. Don't stress, you are young and have plenty of time for sex. Focus on your school work and enjoy life.