Why are relationships so difficult?

[Brandon85 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brandon85]

This is an anonymous board, so I feel more comfortable talking about this with y'all.

My girl and I have been together for three years and have had ups and downs like any relationship. We get along so well. We laugh so much and enjoy each others company beyond no one else. Of course, when we argue and disagree. It is not a pretty sight. I have never argued with anyone as intensely as I have with her. But she is absolutely a pure joy to be with.

Well, out of the blue, several weeks ago, an Ex just walks into my office and sees me. To say I was surprised is to put it mildly. She tells me that, despite all the years that have passed, she is still intensely in love with me and can not be with another. This woman is the exact opposite of my girl. Calm and more reasonable (meaning, she doesn't freak out when she gets mad). Seeing her brought back this weird flood of familiarity. And I saw such incredible qualities that a guy would be lucky to have.

Of course, I told my girlfriend that she just showed up. She got upset but realized I couldn't stop her from just dropping in. What I did not tell my girl are the feelings that I felt.

Both women are amazingly gorgeous. Both are very well off and both have promised me a very financially secure life with them. Both are amazing people and any guy would cut off their right leg to be with either one.

My question and opinion is: What should I do? Or better yet, what would you do? I want the calmness that my ex offers (but is boring) and I want the energy of my girlfriend (but do without the crazy).

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

I'd get a dog. Well you asked. Now do you need a dog that will give you a financially secure life?

[Brandon85 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Brandon85]

That is hilarious! I already have a super awesome dog. She doesn't promise me a secure financial future but she sure does lay on the love and all she asks for is a tummy rub.

As for financial security, I don't need it from them. I love working and wouldn't quit my profession even with them (independently) asking me to stop to explore the world etc. I get bored even taking a week off.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

A dog would be safer than getting between the two of them! Either way I see trouble here, for you!

[kickinthemebs Senior Member Member of the Month Feb 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close kickinthemebs]

Two beautiful women that want you,will pay for you and bring you travelling..
Wow,tough life,I feel so sorry for you

[camaro Senior Member Member of the month June 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close camaro]

Toss a coin...

[popol5169 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close popol5169]

Give me one of them and help yourself with the other.

[islander Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close islander]

Beware of anyone promising you or even mentioning to provide financial security. Most people with secure wealth are not hand out type of people. They respect hard working people. So in time she may resent you or use it against you in an argument. You will feel like shit.
Women who have warned their security will never hand it over unless you are not too important. Meaning you will fill a void for a time.
I would never tell a man they will be financially secure. As a matter of fact I tell them they need to hold their own regardless of my security and that soon very soon I'm retiring lol
It's one thing to pay for expensive trips shows dinner because I want something his money can't buy. But to offer security. I think something is off.
I'm with Cusp. Next...

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

End all the frustration, and send them to me.

[AlpineNewt Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2014 Find all posts View Profile Close AlpineNewt]

Is both not an option?

[MrB8 Senior Member Member of the Month Nov 2013 Find all posts View Profile Close MrB8]

Financial security aside (IMHPO, its the mans job to provide), and I agree with Islander here.

Whom do you have more feelings for, you can't be equally in love with both ladies, and sure they both can't be equally in love with you either, one must love you more, and I bet she's not your Ex.

I'd say, go for the relationship where there are more feelings, if I'm in your place, I'd go for the lady who loves me. PERIOD.

Also, ladies argue more when they care, so that probably means your girlfriend cares more, besides, she hasn't left you once before.

[HammerTime89 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close HammerTime89]

Oh boy, this feels a lot like deja vu. I have been in the exact Same position as you. Been with my girl 3 years, she's the crazy one. And my ex, the calm one with familiar qualities will pop up out of the blue ever so often. Love them both the only two women who meant something to me. Its very conflicting mentally I ended up staying with the crazy one but I still think about the other one. The only thing I can tell you is you need to decide now and never look back or it will haunt you forever. Who can you spend the rest of your days with and be happy?

[Stu Junior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Stu]

What happened with you and your ex that led to you two breaking up? I feel like there's a story there that's relevant to the decision you're faced with now.

Also, have either of them ever cheated on you? That's a deal-breaker for me, so if one of them has, then I'd go with the other one.

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

One is your ex for a reason. What makes you think it would work now?

[Dick Whammy Retired Moderator Member of the month Jan 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close Dick Whammy]

Think of it this way: Why is the other one "an EX"?? Now you have the ammo to figure it out!!