So confused started talking to ex again! HELP!

[Vdude92 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Vdude92]

Hey guys iv really shot myself on the foot this time

It all goes back 4-5 years ago i met my ex and we had a really long relationship but we broke up after 2 year but we still saw eatchother now and then having sex etc for the other 2 years not talking to anyone else or something. Our relationship was very serious since if her parents knew she was dating me and had sex with me they would literally kill her.We even planned to get married. Anyways it all ended with me treating her worse then a dog.. I still ask myself why i did that. Anyways after our really long breakup i tried contact her this summer cuz i got alot of guilt feelings for what i did to her and i realized what i lost i tried talking to her again and she told me to back the fuck off.

I begged her to take me back the whole summer not telling anyone about my feelings for her untill my best friend said that he cant stop noticing that i look depressed so i told him the truth and he said he'd talk to her. She told him that shes talking to someone else to forget me and that really hit me hard. So i texted her just to listen to what i got to say so i told her how iv changed etc and that i wish her the best she just laughed at me so i got pissed off and just walked away.

3 months ago i met my current girlfriend! Shes really a nice girl! like the perfect wifey material! I dont know why but somehow ''good'' girls are attracted to me anyways we've been together for 3 months now but i cant fall in love with her! I still think about my ex the whole time and i feel so bad because this girl really loves me! We almost had sex 1 week ago but i stopped since it didnt feel right for me.

Anyhow 3 weeks ago my ex father died so i sent a message to her that i feel sorry for her loss etc and we started talking again and after some days she mentions ''i still cant forget that u said 'you would never leave me'' so there i noticed she was still hurt'' and we start talking and she says i dont want to talk to you cuz i know ill get feelings for you and i said well ok im pretty sure i wont get feelings for you so i can talk but if u dont want too i can accept that. She contacts me after some days and we've been talking now for 3 weeks and were gonna meet up and talk about us 2.. I told her iv broken up with my current girlfriend but i havent. I feel like such a douchebag because one of the girls is gonna get so hurt im panicing over just the thought of it :/

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

Remember that your ex is at a very vulnerable time right now. You're someone she knows very well and apparently it looks like she still has feelings for you. This could be a temporary thing because she needs comfort in this difficult time. Sometimes tragic events have a way of putting things into perspective for us too. Maybe she's realizing certain things. Her anger is obviously because there are feelings for you and she feels wronged. You have to figure out what is going on. Does she need a shoulder to cry on or is she maybe looking to put her past behind her and start new. Perhaps talking to her is very good.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

You feel like a douchebag because you probably are. You treat the first girl like shit, she leaves, you bug her because you want her back, you get another girl and behind her back you start talking to the first girl and you think that's a good way to treat people. Obvioulsy you haven't learned anything. Good thing none of them are my daughters or you'd probably limp for the rest of your life.

[Vdude92 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Vdude92]

You feel like a douchebag because you probably are. You treat the first girl like shit, she leaves, you bug her because you want her back, you get another girl and behind her back you start talking to the first girl and you think that's a good way to treat people. Obvioulsy you haven't learned anything. Good thing none of them are my daughters or you'd probably limp for the rest of your life.

Thank you, youre right. I needed this

[JonPop Retired Sr. Administrator PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close JonPop]

Stop hurting people. You are only 21 and have already fucked up two peoples lives, yours and your ex. Don't hurt the girl that says she loves you.

[Mrs. workin_4_it Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Mrs. workin_4_it]

My suggestion would be to break up with your current gf and stay single.

You are still very young and you should be focused on you. It seems to me that you have some issues that you need to figure out so you can be a better boyfriend for the next girlfriend.

As for the ex, it feels like you have already fucked up the relationship. She will forever remember how you treated her and that will change the feelings that she had for you in the past. She is probably looking for something that is comfortable in her time of grieving. Don't be a douche and you that as your "in".

No disrespect in any way to you.

Good look to you.

[BigO AdministratorPEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close BigO]

I agree with the post above, all 3 of them. You need to know yourself and figure out what you want out of a relationship and also what you can offer. Until then you should be single.

[akaTrex Senior Member Member of the Month Jan 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close akaTrex]

I agree with Mrs. workin_4it!

Dude you need to keep it in your pants and take a good long break!

Then start over after a long hiatus.

[Bigdaddy55 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Bigdaddy55]

I agree with Mrs. workin_4it!

Dude you need to keep it in your pants and take a good long break!

Then start over after a long hiatus.

Not being in a relationship is one thing, but that doesn't mean he can't have sex. There are plenty of women out there just looking for a friends with benefits.

[Rasputine Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Rasputine]

`Karma has a way of biting a you in the ass