How to Avoid the Dreaded "Friend Zone"

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

OK, so here's a question which I don't need an answer for, but seeing as the crux of this thread is about how men get laid, I'm gonna flip it round.

I'm "sort of" dating a woman at the moment who's lovely, and attractive, but I'm not fucking her because reasons:

1) just before we met I had a weekend long first date with someone else with the filthiest sex and that was distracting throughout meeting this new one. Sadly, that first one's going nowhere for a whole load of reasons.

2) she's just really nice and the subject's never come up. I've enjoyed her company and want that to continue.

It's a bit like I'm "friend zoning" her because I am holding on to her as a friend, she's lovely, but the question is still open as sex hasn't come up and it's not something I've wanted to bring up as that would be opening a door I'm not getting the sense she's ready for. Could be wrong, I don't know, maybe one day it'll come up, I'll tell her I want to tie her up, spank her arse pink and fuck her up the arse while she has a vibrator and benwa balls in and she'll go straight into overdrive.

But I don't know, and I'm a little scared that if we go there, then it could destroy the lovely friendship we're starting to have.

So, in a way, she's friend zoned. But not in a "let you down gently" way, it's certainly not a no, and I don't want to shut her down. Maybe we're not sexually compatible? I don't know. Ultimately, I'm not the one chasing her, she chased me, and I like her, but not in a "fuck yes, give me that" way. For all I know, once the door's open she'll blossom and surprise me, but until that happens, we're in traditional dinner and a movie, three dates to second base world.

I'm not going to be hurt if it stops, I can take it or leave it, and I'll carry on dating other people, I'm just a little unsure about turning the corner because she's charmed me and I don't know if I want to scare her off.

Dunno if that's a place that women who friend zone you find themselves, but it is where I am right now, and she's kind of half friend zoned by not moving quickly enough.

I'm rambling. Ignore me, Dunno if that's interesting.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I find it very strange how women react if you turn them down for sex.

[spanky Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close spanky]

I find it very strange how women react if you turn them down for sex.

Hmmm. mixed. I remember how pissed off one ex got when I told her I was busy, but she was a bit psycho anyway. I've turned down women chasing me a fair few times, and I've had a few of them still hang around in the exact same way we've talked about above that hanging around if you're "friend zoned" is the worst thing to do.

[Cb1997 Member Find all posts View Profile Close Cb1997]

I've learned all these things far too late for the one girl I've ever truly been interested in. This is a great summary of the Friend Zone. I always end up thinking back to the agonizing memories of my mistakes. I'm a guy with high standards. I've passed on so many interested girls in the past couple of years just because I know it wouldn't be a relationship I'd be happy with, but 3 years ago I met the one girl who literally met everything I'd ever want in a girl. She even freaking liked me first, but I screwed up so bad probably because I've never had a relationship and didn't quite know how to go about telling her how I felt. I was the passive, nice, friendly guy willing to do anything just to make this girl happy... but I was too afraid to make my feelings known to her. Now I sit here and maybe talk to her once and awhile as we are still friends and keep up with each other now and again. I screwed this up 3 years ago when I met her. I passed on so many opportunities the first year I got to know her at school (I was a freshman). She had a couple of boyfriends but really she stayed single most of the time too. I just screwed up so badly by thinking I had all this time, and that I could play safe. I was lacking in confidence in myself too. It was just a disaster I look back in my mind every now and again and cringe. I can re-watch the three years and just condemn every mistake I ever made. Now I'm going to be starting college and hope I can find someone similar, because this girl has me friend-zoned for life, no parole. Don't make the mistake guys just take your chances and make it known early what you want, or you'll end up with major regrets like me.

[DickerSchwanz Senior Member Member of the Month Sept 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close DickerSchwanz]

Touching is important too as in a dominant way. Pulling her to the right way or putting arm around waist. The friend zone is lacking physicality early on. Its like meeting a guy friend handshake and then talk.

If she isnt touched she will think you have no physical interest. The escalation is lacking and no physical arousal is there.