Our sex life sucks

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

Lately, our sex life has gone down to this. Rub her out to an orgasm within 5-10 minutes. I get on top and get mine within 10 minutes. She seems to thoroughly enjoy intercourse at first and begs me to come in, but after 5/10 minutes she starts getting this look. She starts looking away. I ask her what's the deal and she asks me to finish up. This is after 10 minutes. She gets sore. Her legs, vag, whatever. I said, geez, it's 10 minutes.
She has this preconceived notion that intercourse is for me and getting me off. What's confusing is that two weeks ago she almost came during PIV after only 5 minutes or do. Since then, it's like, get it over with. Sometimes sex is great, most times it's very vanilla.

I've posted before about this. Now it's getting worse. So this time, I finish up but it sucked knowingly that she wanted me out as soon as possible. Afterward, she's acting like everything is great with the world. She sees the look on my face and asks " what's wrong ? " so I told her. She said she didn't realize that the night had turned into a disaster.

Sex is becoming much less frequent and it bothers me. It's been a week and a half. I asked her if she even likes it anymore. She says yes, but it hurts if it takes too long. I said you seem disinterested. And she took offense to this. I said " it was only 10 minutes". I was enjoying it and I like it to last longer than that. Our whole session was maybe 15 minutes.

It sucks. I'm supposed to marry her in 8 months and all I hear is how great I am, how she loves me, loves my body, loves my dick etc. but I wonder if it will get worse after were married. Once she's got me, I fear the sex might dry up. She simply seems to care less if we have sex any more. Sex was great early on and has now become a chore.

As I said in previous posts, she has stopped blowing me. I was always going down on her. I'm not fucking doing it snymore. And I told her I'm not initiating sex anymore. I would send her suggestive texts during the day at work and she loved it. She'd be onboard totally and then, boom, nothing that night, leaving me hanging can't count how many times. Be made a decision not to initiate sex any more ( to see how it will take her to come around) or go down on her. I'm done.

She keeps talking about how she can't wait to get married and put a ring on my finger. It makes me cringe now. I have EQ issues due to age and circumstances in my life, and this is not helping. I'm scared to death now to marry this girl. Trouble is, I love her. But sex is very important to me. Not her. She said her last BF was simply using her for sex. Wouldn't even take her out to dinner. Maybe that's the issue. I dunno

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

Have you read B. Arnt's work ? She would describe this as normal in couples that have been together awhile .

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

She said its supposed to be like wham, bam, thank you ma'am . I said, no it isn't.

I have come to the conclusion that
A) she knows nothing about sex and is naive

B) she doesn't like it ( although she says she does)

C) she likes it and it is happy with our sex life

We have a complete disconnect. She used to even let me rub her out to multiple orgasms. Now it's one and done. She won't let me keep going.

[zutsu401 Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close zutsu401]

I'm not a Experienced Guy however I do believe Some women like Sex to much I mean like 24*7 and some women does not like it, they need 2-5 minutes or short. I don't know whether its hormone, psychological issue or what? however its happen.

[Pegasus AdministratorPE Gym EditorPEGym Hero ☺ Admin of the Month Mar 2015 Find all posts View Profile Close Pegasus]

I think a lot of guys who comment on the relationship forum should read Bettina Arndt's book "The Sex diaries " .

In short she says it is perfectly normal for women to have a big drop in libido when they have been in a relationship for some time . This is nothing to do with the man how good a lover he is or how much housework he does it is just how many women are wired.

[Party Senior Member Member of the Month August 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Party]

I think a lot of guys who comment on the relationship forum should read Bettina Arndt's book "The Sex diaries " .

In short she says it is perfectly normal for women to have a big drop in libido when they have been in a relationship for some time . This is nothing to do with the man how good a lover he is or how much housework he does it is just how many women are wired.

women need romance, and adventure, something new, not just in the bedroom. For a man the relationship starts inside the bedroom , for a woman outside. If she isn't made to feel needed and loved and sexy outside the bedroom how can she be that way inside. Probably why romance novels, and now reality TV shows, are so popular with women, helps the forget about their um drum life. OP this is a serious situation, I suggest premarital counseling. Been married for 27 years and I can tell you you get in a rut and things come to grinding halt. Not just her fault, career, kids, stress, it happens. Down the road your gonna be excited to get that 10 minute quickly, let me tell ya. Things get better, at least in my marriage, we're having the best sex of our lives, never less than an hour, and multi-multi Os for her. So hang in there I guess or try to make a change, seek help.

[5_in_model Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close 5_in_model]

staying in love or even in a committed relationship with a woman who doesn't want to suck and fuck my cock as much as I want stick my dick in her mouth and cunt is a no-brainer. unlimited lovemaking is part of the marriage contract or relationship agreement. when a woman breaks one part of the contract, the whole contract or agreement is broken. it's that simple. that's why I've been divorced 4 times.

sorry, but I am not one of the dudes who is willing to wait around till she's 'in the mood.' I don't have the biggest dick, but I've got a boner with no quit in it and a cum-load that's always full.

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Don't you think she may behaving a bit of a physical problem?

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

Don't you think she may behaving a bit of a physical problem?

I don't think so. We had great sex a couple weeks ago. Awesome actually. Maybe the best ever. It's just that I'm getting bad vibes from her. I try to make her feel great during the day, text her messages on how great she looks, how I can't wait to marry her etc. and she gets all worked up to get it in that night, but then nothing happens. She's asleep. We both have busy lives, yet I make the effort to be with her at least once/ twice per week. I don't expect or want more than that. But I truly believe that if I didn't initiate anything now, we would go weeks without sex.

My fear is that she once she knows that she had me, the sex is over. This is just a fear, I cannot confirm this. She says she loves me, says recently sex us the best ever.....even her sister says she adores me.

Maybe her sex life was so bad that she considers this good. My psychological ED is starting to come back as a result of her lack of interest.

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

I hate to say this because I love her, but she is bad in bed. Really does nothing to stimulate me other than couple minute hand job. If that.

I'm seriously considering staying away from the sex until she actually wants it because I've tried so hard in recent weeks and it has backfired. Maybe the opposite approach will work. I have some major decisions to make before we get married next July.

[rippem Banned Find all posts View Profile Close rippem]

Hey bro I don't think you need to read a book like pegasus says..and it's not normal for her to act like that unless she might be going through the change of life..don't know how old you are but I'm gonna be 46 in march and been with my wife for 30 years and still have great sex!! And on Saturday nights we molly out and just touch and grind and fuck for hours just enjoying each other.its been that way since the beginning..I feel you either have great chemistry together or you dont. Your not supposed to make a relationship like a job constantly working at it..you to may not be meant for each other simple as that..remember if you feel this way now you will after your married. Marriage won't change it. And then your stuck feeling miserable. You know the answer for what you want, you just need to be honest with yourself answer it truthfully..good luck...PEACE!!

[CUSP82 Administrator Admin of the Month Dec 2014PEGym Hero Find all posts View Profile Close CUSP82]

Sometimes books can open one's eyes.

[rippem Banned Find all posts View Profile Close rippem]

Lol, yes to read..lmao..but it can not make one change the way they feel. And if the person does from reading something, then the person is just trying to be something there not..you can't teach someone to enjoy something they dont..better off just finding that right person with the right chemistry to begin with versus stressing out trying to figure out how to make them have it..jmo..PEACE!!

[Hiplainsdrifter Senior Member Find all posts View Profile Close Hiplainsdrifter]

Hey bro I don't think you need to read a book like pegasus says..and it's not normal for her to act like that unless she might be going through the change of life..don't know how old you are but I'm gonna be 46 in march and been with my wife for 30 years and still have great sex!! And on Saturday nights we molly out and just touch and grind and fuck for hours just enjoying each other.its been that way since the beginning..I feel you either have great chemistry together or you dont. Your not supposed to make a relationship like a job constantly working at it..you to may not be meant for each other simple as that..remember if you feel this way now you will after your married. Marriage won't change it. And then your stuck feeling miserable. You know the answer for what you want, you just need to be honest with yourself answer it truthfully..good luck...PEACE!!

Here's the thing... we thought we had great chemistry. Last night, she was happy and then surprised to know that I thought it was a disaster.

[Jay1983 Senior MemberMember of the Month Apr 2014, Sept 2016 Find all posts View Profile Close Jay1983]

Seems you both aren't on the same page.. reading a book together might change that.

Bahaha